slaveluci
Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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I came across a book today entitled "Viva La Repartee" by Dr. Mardy Grothe (circa 2005). It's a compilation of "clever comebacks & witty retorts from history's great wits and wordsmiths." It has had me laughing out loud. Some I've read previously, many I haven't, but they're all worthy of re-reading if I have. Here's some examples:
"Truman Capote was fond of regaling people with an anecdote about one of his finer moments. At the height of his popularity, he was drinking one evening with friends in a crowded Key West bar. Nearby sat a couple, both inebriated. The woman recognized Capote, walked over to his table, and gushingly asked him to autograph a paper napkin. The woman's husband, angry at his wife's display of interest in another man, staggered over to Capote's table and assumed an intimidating position directly in front of the diminutive writer. He then proceeded to unzip his trousers and, in Capote's own words 'hauled out his equipment.' As he did this, he bellowed in a drunken slur, 'Since you're autographing things, why don't you autograph this?' It was a tense moment, and a hush fell over the room. The silence was a blessing, for it allowed all those within earshot to hear Capote's soft, high-pitched vioce deliver the perfect emasculating reply:
'I don't know if I can autograph it, but perhaps I can initial it.'" 
Another...... "Perhaps THE classic example in the history of wit is the story of a famous exchange between two eighteenth-century political rivals, John Mantagu, also known as the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, and the reformist politician, John Wilkes. During a heated argument, Montagu scowled at Wilkes and said derisively, 'Upon my soul, Wilkes, I don't know whether you'll die upon the gallows, or of syphilis.' Unfazed, Wilkes came back with what many people regard as the greatest retort of all time: 'That will depend, my Lord, on whether I embrace your principles, or your mistress.'" 
And one more....."For many decades, a delightful story has been told about one member of the [Algonquin Round Table], playwright Marc Connelly. One evening, Connelly was dining with friends when another member of the group snuck up from behind, placed his hands on top of Connelly's bald head, and said to the amusement of the other guests, 'Marc, your head feels as smooth as my wife's ass.' Connelly instantly raised his hands to his head, began rubbing his own scalp, and with a wry smile, said: 'So it does, so it does.'" 
These are all within the first four pages! I know they may sound corny to some of you, but not being one who can quickly come up with smart-ass retorts, I'm impressed by those who can do it and do it so well. Just felt like sharing. If any of you have any to add, I'd enjoy reading them whether they be "famous" ones or ones you've personally said or heard.
Thanks...............luci
< Message edited by slaveluci -- 4/22/2009 6:24:20 PM >
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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin
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