RE: Take my sub.. please

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RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/14/2009 9:28:14 PM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ITAOTIIG

... Would it be out of the question to ask a sub (owned/unowned), switch, or Domme to engage my sub online (chat, or maybe webcam)? This may be an inconvenience for some, but I think this better than a physical engagement where feelings can be hurt if things don't work out. ...

She prefers to interact with females only.

Many are leary when you appear to be trolling for females.
Yes, you may very well be in earnest. But you are up against that sort of perception, because it's apparently pretty common.

Assuming you're in earnest, though, why not go for it? As long as you can stand a little criticism. Criticism might help you to refine your message so that it finally reaches whom you wish it to reach.

Maybe there's other couples out there in a similar situation to yours.
Perhaps they'll be game.

As far as single dommes or subs go, though, I'm not sure what the motivation would be for them to contact you...(as has been ably pointed out.)

But it doesn't hurt (too badly) to try. Have patience, craft your message, hope for the best.

Your partner can probably help. Her perspective will likely come out in her writing, in the way she phrases things.

That may help overcome some of the resistance.

Otherwise, just know that it's a tough row to hoe, and have patience, Farmer Brown.

Love the little owls in your icon.

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Post #: 21

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/14/2009 9:36:58 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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Try a chat room that focus's on play.

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Post #: 22

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/14/2009 9:36:59 PM

crazyredhead1957

Posts: 189
Joined: 12/10/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

quote:

ORIGINAL: ITAOTIIG

Okay, thanks for the advice guys. It's been insightful.

Does anyone know of an Adult version of CollarMe?

And exactly what makes you think you've graduated?

rofl. i needed that! It's been a trying day.

(in reply to stella41b)

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Post #: 23

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/14/2009 9:43:47 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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FR: Wait a minute. You are implying there are people who might dissemble on the Internet in order to find sex partners for online play? No...really? That happens?

E

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"It's the same thing," he said.

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Post #: 24

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/14/2009 10:28:10 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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OP: you say you dont want to hurt feelings........

assuminig you find someone that cares to participate in chat/cam only stuff... what makes you think that feelings STILL couldnt be hurt? There ARE humans on the other side of the keyboard/cam, yanno....

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Post #: 25

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/15/2009 4:32:18 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Another one who thinks you're being incredibly rude to the potential other woman. You don't care if she gets anything out of it, you aren't offering anything to her to make her want to waste her time with you. And most women you approach are going to be cynics who don't believe you have a sub.

Go to a munch. Or have your sub set up her own profile and do her own searching. She's the one who may want to explore? Then she needs to do her own searching.

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Post #: 26

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/15/2009 6:31:15 AM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
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When I initially returned to being online, I had no idea of any BDSM sites. I was told about aff which I joined, and I received so many emails from couples stating just about what you are searching for. In reading your profile, it sounds like that might be a place more fitting.
I know for myself, I would not wish to be a side dish at all.
Maybe you would have more luck in searching for couples who seek the same....there are so many.

(in reply to ITAOTIIG)

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Post #: 27

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/15/2009 6:41:00 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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Itaotiiig

Interesting pen name! And welcome to the forums.
As you have now seen, there is a distinct dislike for online 'anything' on a forum like this. Don't take it personally. It's just how it is.

To respond to your question -

quote:

Whew! That said... Would it be out of the question to ask a sub (owned/unowned), switch, or Domme to engage my sub online (chat, or maybe webcam)? This may be an inconvenience for some, but I think this better than a physical engagement where feelings can be hurt if things don't work out.

Online is different to what you have in the flesh. You cannot compare them. You will get elitists who claim one is better than the other .blahblahblah. but that's pointless. I repeat you cannot compare them. It's like comparing the written word to face to face. Pointless.
So, that said - feelings can get hurt online. Do not for a moment disregard the ability that emotions can have in any environment. One thing you cannot do is control emotions. So people can and do get hurt, feel love and have respect over the written medium. If they didn't, books would be pointless and art would not exist.

If this is how you want to go - try it. But be up front and honest with the person you end up engaging time with. Also do not place unrealistic expectations on this relationship - because that is what it is online or not - such as 'not getting hurt'. Because it can happen. Be aware of the risks, and accept the consequences. And just chalk it up as an experience you tried, regardless it's outcome.

It's all lessons hey.

the.dark.

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Post #: 28

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/15/2009 6:47:45 AM

wisdomofgiving

Posts: 55
Joined: 3/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

OP: you say you dont want to hurt feelings........

assuminig you find someone that cares to participate in chat/cam only stuff... what makes you think that feelings STILL couldnt be hurt? There ARE humans on the other side of the keyboard/cam, yanno....

GreedyTop this is exactly what I want to say as well.

OP, people behind their computers are not machines or robots. They are people who have a vast amount of different emotions. To think that you can have you sub involved through the internet without anyone getting emotionally involved is not plausable. The way you have responded to others' posts also indicates one who does not like to have their ideas challenge. So what I see is someone who believes people with computers are robots, and these robots best not challenge the 'master's word.

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Post #: 29

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/15/2009 7:25:24 AM

Knite064

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/21/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

OP: you say you dont want to hurt feelings........

assuminig you find someone that cares to participate in chat/cam only stuff... what makes you think that feelings STILL couldnt be hurt? There ARE humans on the other side of the keyboard/cam, yanno....

Whilst unfortunately i have to agree with the overall opinion that your request(op) does read as being a bit suss ,i have agree to the point in quotes above as i was quite surprised in how you appeared to assume that emotions would not be hurt simply because it was online.

If your query is sincere id suggest getting out into a community and seeing what transpires with people you learn to like and click with.

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Post #: 30

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/15/2009 9:50:14 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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FR

I've only had a quick glance through the replies, but I should think the question about finding both information and how to find a third person may get you more information if you repost it on the Poly Board...

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Post #: 31

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/15/2009 11:46:17 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
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Do you have any idea how busy the available subs here are just trying to answer the decent emails they receive?
Ask yours if she would have wanted to do what you are asking another to do before she was with you.
Chances are her answer will reflect most of the answers you receive.
And yes, if you open this up to men, you will probably get some results!!

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Post #: 32

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/15/2009 11:57:22 AM

AlteriorMotives

Posts: 8
Joined: 4/5/2009
Status: offline

Here's a thought. Have the sub put up a new profile as a female. I'll bet she'll have TONS of offers to chat. LOL.

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Post #: 33

RE: Take my sub.. please - 4/15/2009 4:19:27 PM

GotSteel