Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me!

Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (Full Version)

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Lockit -> Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:01:57 PM)
How often do we see someone post here or know someone in person who lives with rose colored glasses, thinking that nothing bad in their situation will happen? Okay it is wonderful when in a new relationship or other new situation, to think this is the one… this is great… everything is going to be just perfect and then a few weeks or months later, they have their eyes opened for them and realize it could and did happen to them. What was wonderfully shared with others and felt, becomes heartbreaking and a wail. The new dominant that would never do harm or break a trust, which other’s can see as a problem, but in love and need… the submissive can’t see. The new submissive that is wonderfully submissive until they are not and the dominant couldn’t see it coming because they were so sweet and pliable. The con man/woman dressed as a lover, the great bdsm relationships that couldn't be bad, the cheat who says trust me, the sweet words of a liar… and someone doesn’t want to see because it isn’t a pretty picture and they should trust and not be jaded of course. Isn’t trust and obedience the way it is supposed to be? How awful to think it would be anything but what we want to see! When its reality for someone else and not us, because we are special and it just couldn’t happen to me/us, comes in that newly found, wonder with rose colored glasses… I see it as a train wreck. Then if you say something… what a mean person they think you to be! Do we waste our time when they ask and can’t receive any other answers than the one’s they find pleasing?

DomImus -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:09:23 PM)
What is the alternative here? Going through life jaded and cynical and suspicious of everyone's motives? I've known people like that and have been briefly involved with a few of them. I'll take the rose colored glasses crowd, thank you very much.

LaTigresse -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:11:17 PM)
I prefer a nice sane happy medium.

Lockit -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:11:23 PM)
I think there is a balance of the two that can be found.

wisdomofgiving -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:24:36 PM)
Rose colored glasses eventually get smashed, at least I have experienced this several times throughout my life. I still like the view through them, and finally have learned to find a balance. I can wear my glasses all I want and maintain somewhat of a balance as long as I do the following, take responsibility for all my choices and actions. This entails not pointing my finger at another, place or thing and blaming IT for what is happening to me. Plus listening to that inner voice within. Life is good, and it inspires me to live without blaming others, but instead managing what is true for me. wisdomofgiving

subtlebutterfly -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:27:56 PM)
I'm Ms. Awesomeness... I'm above all this[;)]

littlewonder -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:28:08 PM)
When I see people post with the rosy glasses and all smiles and still living in gagalalalang I tend to just bite my tongue and walk away. I've lived enough experiences in my life to know that life isn't perfect, people get hurt intentionally or unintentionally and that shit happens. I live with my eyes wide open, always aware that I'm not always going to be happy and neither is he because we're adults in the real world.

Lockit -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:28:58 PM)
Nice post wisdomofgiving! Thank you!

chamberqueen -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:29:20 PM)
Since there is no such thing as a perfect relationship there is a time and a place for the rose colored glasses. The problem is when they become blinders and we are no longer realistic. If 10 people call me worthless but my Master calls me a treasure you can believe I'll be listening to him. Turn it around and I'll try to find out WHY my Master thinks I'm worthless but will also listen to the 10 thinking I'm a treasure.

Lockit -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:31:21 PM)
LOL... subtlebutterfly! littlewonder... that is the best way to be! Realistic! lol

Lockit -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:33:21 PM)
chamberqueen... I always love the way you think!

DavanKael -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:45:55 PM)
Hi, Lockit---- I tend to idealize those with whom I am close, to a degree. I actually think that allows me to look past certain things that, were I to indulge certain aspects of my personality, may be more bothersome. 'Course, in that and separately and distinctly, I am a big fan of having a Plan B, C, D, and on through the alphabet. :> Davan

IronBear -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:47:26 PM)
I'm with chamberqueen here. There is a time and place for rose coloured spectacles and that is during the courting stage in my view. But then who am I to say what is right or wrong seeing that I tend to place my primary partner/wife on a pedestal and use Supa-Glue to bloody well keep her there. I see and know my lady for who and what she is, her strengths and weaknesses and she is my number one person right or wrong I support her. Fortunately for me I finally found a lady who reciprocates. A pair of fools blinded by love? Ayep hell yes and still going strong after 8 years married and 12 years together through good and harsh times. As I say there is a time and place, the smart money is on those who can discern which is the right and wrong time to don those rosey specs..

wisdomofgiving -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:48:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Nice post wisdomofgiving! Thank you! You are more then welcome, Lockit and thank you.

Lockit -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 2:54:29 PM)
I agree DavanKael and IronBear! There is something very sweet about rose colored glasses when it is safe to wear them. I typically have called it my Polly Anna or naive choice to assure I wasn't embittered or too far gone in jaded. But when people around me... have said... what are you thinking?! I tend to listen and wake up and take a deeper look! I am just glad that didn't happen too often and was many years ago. I didn't listen once when very young and with rose colored glasses firmly in place, I learned my lesson! lol

IrishMist -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 3:07:24 PM)
quote: Do we waste our time when they ask and can’t receive any other answers than the one’s they find pleasing? I don't see the giving of free advice to be a waste of my time. While they may not like the answers that are given, I see it as priveledge to be able to offer a little something to someone, whether it's what they want to hear, how they want to hear it; or not. It's too bad that you see the sharing of advice as a waste of your time. Perhaps if you feel that way, you should stop offering it?

Lockit -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 3:16:29 PM)
I am not considering it a waste of my time. I think I could have said that differently. I guess I am wondering how often someone who ask's, listens or how other's think on if people do listen, rather than just my own take on it.

pixidustpet -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 3:37:46 PM)
TheEngineer is not perfect. neither am i. but we fit perfectly together. we try very hard to understand each other, we balance each other's strengths and weaknesses. we forgive each other when we make mistakes and hurt each other. maybe i'm a bit jaded after having bombed relationships. or maybe we both have been burned and really want to make this work. we look at each other with the rosy glasses, but we both take off our glasses to read a book, so maybe that's it? kitten, who doesnt care how it works as long as it does.

wisdomofgiving -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 6:10:01 PM)
I wanted to add something regarding people who live in rose colored glasses who seek others' advice. I make my living in listening and helping people with this syndrome. It use to drain me daily, and burnout was always around the corner with me. Even if it wasn't clients, it would be friends/ family who were repeating patterns over and over again, without taking a moment to breath and recognize their red signs. What helped me to deal with this? It was to get rid of all expectations within me that I can help them. All I could do was seed them with other possibilites, and not take it personally when they continued on their own destructive path. Another factor that helped me too is that I also use to walk these destructive paths, but just because I was able to get out of them, doesn't mean my experiences will aid another. I think it boils down to when the need to change within oneself out weighs the need to dance only a rose color glass dream. Maybe one day someone will create rose color glasses with bifocals of jaded lenses and a dash of purple. wisdomofgiving

greeneyedreamer -> RE: Rose colored glasses… It won’t happen to me! (4/13/2009 6:24:39 PM)
quote: Okay it is wonderful when in a new relationship or other new situation, to think this is the one… this is great… everything is going to be just perfect and then a few weeks or months later, they have their eyes opened for them and realize it could and did happen to them. What was wonderfully shared with others and felt, becomes heartbreaking and a wail. Do you think it is usually a few months? I have seen it go on for almost a year. Shame. People believe what they want to believe, but when the right thing comes along? You usually really do know it. Hopefully, you won't be too jaded to appreciate it.

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