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Going without your collar for a while - 4/12/2009 10:09:28 PM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		Alright, so I'm tough on my collar. I've broken it twice in the last two months. but that's fairly easy to do since it's just a small gold chain on my ankle until Master grants me his leather collar in may.

Master has noticed that the two times I had to go without my collar until I got it back from the jewelry store I had a hard time focusing, a harder time following orders and in general was a lot more clingy and needy and in search of assurance that yes I was still his slave even if there wasn't a physical reminder and I've noticed in myself my body suddenly loosened up once it was back in place.

If you ever had to go without your collar for a while, how did you react? How did you feel when you finally had it back in place?

I'm just curious to see how others feel, I missed the weight of the chain against my ankle.
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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 2:01:04 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Alright, so I'm tough on my collar


Get a spare, you're talking like you lost your arm.

(in reply to kuriouswitch)
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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 2:32:27 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		It's just a collar. Not having it on you doesn't mean you aren't collared.
Sheeez it's like sayin that just because you dropped your wedding ring off you're single n can hop around screwing everybody until you get a new one.

oook I feel like ranting..no offense I just..woke up grumpy n I need to let it out somewhere
My viewpoint:
If I were the dominant (which I'm not) I'd be thinking what the fuck! Either deal with da problem or I'd be gone with da wind. Seriously..a person that needs to hold onto something so they can remember they're somebodies partner or are submissive or to remember the pecking order or to remember that they actually have tasks.. hrmpf   I'd understand it if the person had ADD or sum but a mentally healthy person (ok that sounded bad but you get my point)? Not a chance in hell....to be honest I'd be questioning my relationship with that person or the powers I have over that person.

< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 4/13/2009 2:39:50 AM >

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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 2:51:35 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

It's just a collar. Not having it on you doesn't mean you aren't collared.

This tidbit (along with the rest of you self-admittedly grumpy post) may have been useful to someone who was actually complaining about feeling "uncollared" without her anklet.

To a more objective viewer with less emotionally-sensitive reading comprehension, the OP simply has a mixture of material and symbolic attachment to her collar. People say all the time how they can feel 'naked' if they mistakenly miss a piece of jewelry that they're used to having. To certain personality types, it's a tangible manifestation of habit and ritual. Heck, as a bartender, on days I forget my personal bottle-opener I end up feeling 'off' during the entire shift.

From my experience, many subs instinctively (deliberately or subconsciously) find it easier to focus while having whatever collar they're attached to on.


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(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 3:01:46 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		true I see you point but then a bottle opener is something you use.. and yep true people can feel naked if they forget to put their watch or if they forget their wedding ring.
However..isn't it a bit too much to become so extremely attached to something, which you don't actively use, that you can't function properly 'cause of it?
I understand irritation perhaps..but..not being able to function properly just seems to me a bit..too extreme.


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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 3:33:52 AM   
InTonguesslave


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline 		hi kw., i had to ask Sir to remove my collar because it was too big and obvious and in the end was causing something of a stir amongst clients and business associates.  im a health care profess, and it was really tricky.  he bought me something else that is really pretty and i love it, but it isnt my collar and for a day or two i felt a bit the way you felt.

it was almost like i was uncollared, though i knew i wasnt.  no matter how logical you can try to be, no matter how much sense  you can try talk into youreself, there is, undoubtedly, some mental thing going on there that doesnt want to listen to reason.



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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 5:47:35 AM   
rainbowsprism


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		The only time i have gone without my usual collar was for an MRI scan, and because i didn't fancy the prospect much we fashioned an all fabric choker that took the locking steel's place for 24 hours. Having it replaced i didn't get to feel any of the emotions i might have if i had been left without any collar, so i have no idea how i would have felt.

i know it's only a piece of jewellery, but i have invested it with a certain emotional importance, as have a lot of others it seems, and that was something i also did with mt wedding ring. When i wore that 24/7 i felt naked without it, and my collar i treat in the same emotional vein.


(in reply to kuriouswitch)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 5:55:30 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		my collar is just a outward representation of my commitment to my M'lady, weather it is on or off i am still collared by Her. that said i am comforted by its presence and it does act as a reminder to me to remember to whom obedience is owed. i have a formal collar and a vanilla one both are important to me. i am also in the medical Field and my vanilla one was chosen to be discreet as well as in cases where i must be free of jewelry removable(surgery and MRI reverse isolation). so far it has only had to be repaired once, and that was a quick fix(needed a new clasp). for those times i do have it off even for the briefest of times i do feel exposed somehow less dressed or something like that. it may seem silly to some but the simple collar like a wedding band represents a big part of the life of its wearer and as such is felt to be a similarly large part of them as well. i am very proud of my collar and i wear it with pride as it belongs to my M'lady and i to her.

(in reply to InTonguesslave)
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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 6:21:54 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

It's just a collar. Not having it on you doesn't mean you aren't collared.

yet i would feel naked without mine around my neck and ankles. so i honestly understand OP's sentiments about not having the physical material of a collar attached the body.

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(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 6:26:59 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Sew on a piece of lace to be an anklet, or buy a more sturdy one as a backup.

Mine is a silver necklace and the chain is really thin so it has broken from trying to free my hair when the hair gets caught in it. I solved the problem by buying a 3" necklace extender. Nowadays I break the necklace extender and not the necklace. And I buy the  extenders two at a time.

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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 7:13:10 AM   
kuriouswitch


Posts: 325
Joined: 6/17/2008
Status: offline 		thank you for your replies everyone. Master had me shorten this one so that i would stop catching my foot on it which was causing it to break. I didn't notice I was acting any different until Master pointed it out, it was kind of a subtle thing. I'm a creature of habit so it felt odd without it much like it feels odd when i don't wear my necklace ect. I know it's just a physical reminder but those are nice when it's a long distance relationship and it was the first gift Master ever gave me for christmas so there is some sentimental value as well.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 7:17:04 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I took a foreign business trip once and my Master told me to leave my collar at home.  I had gotten in the habit of wearing it after I was finished with work each day and would sleep in it at night.  I was surprised at how uncomfortable I felt without it.  I know it is only a symbol, but for many of us it is a very important one. 

I found that using a substitute can help.  I would put on a short necklace, for instance, just to get the sensation of the weight of it back.  Perhaps you could tie a piece of yarn around your ankle or something similar.




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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/13/2009 9:29:49 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline 		Funny .. to me (a top and not a Dom) ... a collar is just one of many items in the toy bag to attach a leash to ... 

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/14/2009 8:00:59 AM   
scoreandmalice


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/4/2008
Status: offline 		I was in a D/s relationship for awhile...I didn't wear my collar at work (A for health reasons since I work around food), and I actually didn't wear it much at all. I only wore it around my domme. Thought it was something I wanted, and I was wrong. she mentioned, a couple of times, how I must feel naked without my collar (we had to take my first one off for a few days because my skin reacted with the medal).

i never did, but OP, from what i understand, *your* reaction is typical.

(in reply to pompeii)
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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/14/2009 2:27:10 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kuriouswitch

If you ever had to go without your collar for a while, how did you react? How did you feel when you finally had it back in place?

I'm just curious to see how others feel, I missed the weight of the chain against my ankle.


I was pissed at my work for having a no-jewelry policy but actually it was nice to not be wearing it because of how we handled it. Val would take it off me before I left and put it back on when I came home. We don't have any strict rules about me not being allowed to remove it but it was a nice little moment.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/14/2009 2:28:55 PM >

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(in reply to kuriouswitch)
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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/14/2009 9:48:33 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I think that it's pretty normal, when you're accustomed to having a piece of jewelry or some such on your body, that when it's not there, you notice it.  As an example, I was married for almost 15 years and have been separated over a year and a half and just the other day, I noticed the lack ofrings on my left ring finger and had a moment of reactionary panic, thinking that I lost my rings...and they haven't been on my hand for over a year and a half.  Again, I think it's pretty normal for people who place significance to certain items that they wear. 
Best wishes, 
  Davan

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RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/19/2009 8:07:49 AM   
fateddeath


Posts: 7
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline 		OMG! It drives me crazy when i forget to put on my collar before W/we go out anywere! i feel very naked and that i've disappointed my Master. i try keep a spare in the glove compartment of the car but then i'd forget it in the house to put it back in the car....

(in reply to DavanKael)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Going without your collar for a while - 4/19/2009 9:25:11 AM   
whis31


Posts: 143
Joined: 5/28/2007
Status: offline 		i don't have a "collar" per say, i have a same tag that is on my key ring which is always with me so i always have Him with me

(in reply to fateddeath)
Profile   Post #: 18
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