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Padriag -> RE: H = R / E (3/31/2009 1:58:26 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: InTonguesslut
A book i'm reading suggests happiness equals reality divided by expectation, hence the H=R/E title [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s2.gif[/image] This then would suggest the more expectations we have the less happiness we would tend to have due to expectations not being met.
For example if Dom A has 25 expectations of his sub and Dom B has 10 then obviously Dom A has a higher happiness number. This is assuming reality is the same number for all of us.
Dom A - 100 / 25 = 4
Dom B - 100 / 10 = 10
I'm not saying i agree with this theory or it's results but i do wonder if anyone stops to think whether they can live up to the expectations put on them, or the expectations they put on others?
Surely it is better to lower our expectations and find higher happiness in someone meeting the ones we do put in place, than to have higher expectations and find sadness when they are not met?
Sounds like very flawed logic to me. Someone is trying to reduce things to simple math... life just doesn't work that way. Less is not always more... and more does not always lead to less. Sometimes having more and higher expectations leads to happiness... sometimes to ruin. The same can be said of having fewer or lower expectations, in some cases that's the right choice, sometimes its the wrong one.
What life has taught me is this, that all disappointment comes from unrealistic expectations. There are times and situations in life where high expectations are both reasonable and realistic and do not lead to disappointment. There are also times and situations in life where high expectations are both unreasonable and unrealistic... and having them anyway absolutely will lead to disappointment. The trick is having the wisdom to know the difference.
To apply that to your last two questions... people should stop and think about the expectations they have of others, are they reasonable, are they realistic? If they are, great, if not you have a problem.
Is it better to lower those expectations of that person in order to be happy... not necessarily... and that part of it just isn't simple. Were your expectations unreasonable or did you just pick the wrong person, or was it a little of both? Those questions often don't have easy answer and sometimes they carry emotional consequences people may not wish to face. I've watched people stay in relationships in which they were not happy, simply because they would not face the reality of it. They could not bring themselves to deal with the consequences of accepting the truth.
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