RE: don't be surprised reverse question please

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/22/2009 6:00:13 PM

feydeplume

Posts: 935
Joined: 12/24/2008
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I know that i do act out sometimes, but it isn't so much a test of M's 'mastery', it is more of a cry for help and reassurance. Through the years I have learned better ways of asking for attention, but under great stress, I will still act out and he will still deal with it.

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/22/2009 11:13:27 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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Since I know this is a spinff of the testing thread I had, I will keep the answer short and relavent here. I did have a boy that tested me often. He didnt last long, because after the first time or two that he couldnt seem to get his commands right, he was more work than he would have been pleasure. Fox does not test me, and he has no reason to. There is nothing to gain by setting up unfavorable situations just to see how things will go.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
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*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/23/2009 2:16:44 AM

silkncarol

Posts: 318
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I'm this way too......i really try not to "act out" merely to gain attention....i learned long ago i'd much rather have attention from positive actions than negative behavior.

quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume

I know that i do act out sometimes, but it isn't so much a test of M's 'mastery', it is more of a cry for help and reassurance. Through the years I have learned better ways of asking for attention, but under great stress, I will still act out and he will still deal with it.

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/23/2009 7:16:37 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublace

All replies are appreciated, thanx. i guess slaves need balance giving up control with retaining self control.

I don't think it is a question of self control. It is a question of active dominance. If he withdraws his dominance, I will stop submitting. I don't submit in a vacuum.

I submit to a man who inspires me to submit.

Now if he's busy with taxes or sick in bed, that doesn't mean I will immediately stop submitting. But if he gets lazy in the relationship, so will I. Dominance to me is more than sitting on the couch watching tv and occasionally saying "bring me a beer and give me a blow job". That's passive to me, requiring the sub to do it all herself.

He either leads or he abdicates his position. And if there's a power vacuum, then eventually I will fill it simply because someone has to.

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/23/2009 7:32:48 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkwind

i have never been given any reason to want to test my Master, his consistency feeds mine.

Are you sure your own cations are a direct result of something your Owner is or isn't doing? Could it be that you are just acting up badly, rather than testing?

I have behaved irresponsibly though. What I mean by that is that I have behaved with no thought for the consequences. I have striven with every fibre of my being to be as responsible as possible over the years. I fall and often blame the other. That is the main fault I have.

However I cannot be responsible for another person reacting and feeling I am testing them. Whenever that has happened I see it as a form of insecurity within the dominant. And I'm off. Insecurity in the one who has stated they are my Master leaves me feeling as if I am hangig from a sinely shredded rope instead of being manacled.

Because God forbid your Master act like a human being...be a human being...and be wrong once in awhile in THEIR perception of the situation?

Look at your two paragraphs above, princexx...on one hand you admit to behaving without thinking of the consequences, behaving irresponsibly. Is it possible that on those occasions, you HAVE tested your dominant without you even being aware of it? Is it possible that on those occasions your behavior has been such that even if it was not a test, it felt that way to your Master?

I don't do tests...on either side of the kneel. If you want to know whether or not I talk to others, then ask me. If you want to know if I am pursuing another, then ask me. If you want to know whether or not I have fun with others while not pursuing them seriously, then ask me. If you want to know what will cause me to punish you, ask me. But in all these cases, be prepared for the answers you get and be prepared to act in a mature manner, whether you like the answer or not. If you want to see if I am trustworthy, then live with me...pay attention to me...submit to me as you have stated you would...learn by noting that I don't assign tedious tasks and that I don't set a submissive up to fail (don't see the sense in either of those behaviors).

Now...having said all that, let me say this. If you choose to deliberately test me, then be mature enough to handle the consequences of it. If I have found out that you are testing me, then I may choose to do what LaT has done...leave you floundering and wondering what the hell happened for awhile or I may choose to punish. Worst consequence? I choose to leave or to dismiss. But remember...you asked for whatever consequence happens when you chose to test (challenge/manipulate/dominate...they are all very close to the word "test" here). If you want me to be responsible for my actions, then you be responsible for yours.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 3/23/2009 7:51:31 AM >

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/23/2009 8:03:00 AM

VeryNastyDom

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

If I feel like I am constantly being tested, I am going to get annoyed and do exactly what she doesn't want.

That pretty much sums it up. Three-year olds test and test and test to see how far they can push mommy and daddy, but at some point they get a spanking or a time out in their room. Adults know better and should not be surprised if the reaction they get is one they didn't plan on.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/23/2009 9:25:29 AM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
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I do whatever I think is necessary to get the outcome I think I want. But sometimes I'm wrong. I like to think that the more I communicate and learn, the better my communication becomes.

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/23/2009 5:22:03 PM

sublace

Posts: 201
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I don't think it is a question of self control. It is a question of active dominance. If he withdraws his dominance, I will stop submitting. I don't submit in a vacuum.

I submit to a man who inspires me to submit.

Thank you DesFIP for the alternative view. <nodding> he isn't perfect either. i just love him and vice versa

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/23/2009 5:40:35 PM

catize

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Joined: 3/7/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I can tell you from the other side of the equasion, if I feel like I am constantly being tested, I am going to get annoyed and do exactly what she doesn't want. I will withdraw and watch her flounder.

I want a slave that is an adult woman. Not a child and not a puppy, an adult woman submitting and serving because that is what she wants to do.

If I want to know how they feel about something, how they would act or react in a situation, I ask! It’s a simple concept and my direct approach avoids guess work!

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RE: don't be surprised reverse question please - 3/24/2009 8:54:02 AM

sublace

Posts: 201
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What I was trying to say is my badness is a re-action, aknee jerk re-action - thats where self control comes in. NOT planned schemeing acting out. That I wouldn't do. Nope
Thanks!

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Post #: 30