Fight club in home for disabled (Full Version)

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Lockit -> Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 2:36:45 PM)

This makes me sick, especially since my son (adult) may have to be in one, one day.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29618496/?GT1=43001



lronitulstahp -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 2:49:41 PM)

Here in Florida, they did away with most state run homes, because the rate of abuse, and neglect was rampant.   Today nearly all intermediate care facilites, group homes, and behavioral treatment centers are privately run.  It has improved tremendously.  The state and advocacy groups run checks, and inspections, and each individual is assigned a guardian, or has  a family member appointed as guardian.

This sort of story sickens me....

Lockit, now is the time to try to find an ICF or group home for your son.  You can get to know the company, and people that will care for him. See if they will allow him to sleepover, or spend all day visits every month or so. You can arrange his care, and let him get used to the people that he may live with, and therefore make a better adjustment.  When a parent waits until their demise, the transition can be very traumatic and bumpy.  Best of luck and blessings to you and your beloved.



Lockit -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 2:58:43 PM)

Ironitulstahp, it scares the hell out of me.  It really does.  He was in a medical facility that the county used and was connected to our hospital.  I went in and they wouldn't let me see him right away and I heard all sorts of noises, but he was behind a locked door.  Finally they let me in and he looked up at me with the weirdest look.  I asked him if he knew me... it was one of those looks.  He burst out crying.  I had never seen him like that and he was always happy. 

I knelt and did what a mom does and he cried for over an hour.  He could not remember what had happened to him and was upset becasue he couldn't tell me.  I saw what was going on in that hour and a half and did my red head mother stuff and threatened to leave and go to a lawyer.  I ended up having to threaten to tell the judge all that was going on and what all they had done to cover their actions to get him out the next day. 

Just the thought of him out of my control and not with a family memeber freaks my ass out and I don't need news to add to it! lol  I just hope he gets more memory back.  Now he is sometimes remembering more and I can only feel comfortable when he can remember full days and is able to tell someone what happens.  I guess I will just have to live forever.



lronitulstahp -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 3:07:45 PM)

The company i work for has no facilities in Missouri....but i will tell you that i wouldn't trust my loved one being anywhere without an open door policy to family.  that's one of our basic rules.  Private companies are really the way to go.  A med-waiver funded program or facility will be accountable for every dollar spent, and every minute of every day.  They have a lot more to lose than a state funded facility, and count alot more on reputation.  And since the stae views them as competition...they go through their records, and client lists with a fine-toothed comb.  Ironic, but true.



Lockit -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 3:11:10 PM)

Thank you, that actually makes sense.  I know there is a brain damaged medical center that we will most likely get to... but... I can only hope that one of my plans works out.

I can't imagine what those people in this news story were living through and maybe for years.  It is just heart breaking!



Vendaval -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 3:59:33 PM)

That is seriously wrong and the workers responsible need to spend some quality time in another kind of state institution getting to know their cell mates up close and personal.  [sm=paddle.gif]



MasterVirago -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 4:06:42 PM)

What the hell is wrong with people?



Lockit -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 4:21:16 PM)

Maybe they see these people as less than they are.  They don't matter.  I know that I am blessed every day with something my son does.  We have a lot of laughs.  He feels and thinks... god only knows what sometimes... but he is so sweet and young.  How he understands things is often like a young um and to think of anyone using someone like him for a kick makes me very sadistic. 

One time the doctor needed to talk to us and the security guards were to watch him by monitor about five feet from the room my son was in.  He was still on medications and hallucinated still.  He was never to be left alone and I didn't feel good about it.  Well they didn't watch him.  He got scared, he had a need to go to the bathroom and they wouldn't listen to him when he opened his door.  Who knows what he was seeing and feeling, but I know when alone he was afraid.  Who wouldn't be when you hallucinated god knows what?

I got back and there was blood all over my son... blood all over the room.  The room was a total mess.. holes in the walls... my sons shirt bottons had been ripped from his shirt with cloth still on them.  He only needed to go to the bathroom and they wouldn't let him... mom was gone and they were yelling at him to go back into the room.  He used the bed to bang the wall.  Three large men handled him alright.. but to my pleasure... the blood wasn't his!  He wouldn't hurt a fly but on that night, somehow he did and I was glad!  He might have been one hundred and ten pounds... but he had been an oil rigger and with the medications he no longer is on... somehow he tapped into that strength and fought them.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 4:44:14 PM)

When I was in the group home there was a girl with a weak bladder, and so she had to get up and pee, in what would be normally lights out after hours, and if she peed her bed the group home staff would make fun of her, but if you got up to go pee after "lights out and there for out of room curfew" You were fined points, and if you lose enough points that day   loss of privileges due to the loss of points would be following.


One time a girl was allowed to get her steel toed boots on, She was hollaring loudly about how she was gonna get her boots on and stomp the shit out of the bitch* me* which were contraband by the way and was allowed to come to try to kick the shit out of me Sprain my thumb, and pulled a huge chunk of hair out of my head, and instead of taking me to the ER, they send me down to lock up at the school.


There was even an elderly lady who worked there who every one knew would let you beat the shit out of someone because she wasn't going to get hurt intervening on your behalf, she'd go in the office and call for help, but that was it.


The same old lady left me crumpled up in the hallway and walked off and left me to find my own way up when I slipped and fell and couldn't get up cause I had a broken leg.


they also refused to let me go to my court hearings until the child advocate lawyer made it mandated I go if I wanted to.

There was a lot of bad shit that went down, and when the child advocate I had, started making a fuss about them not treating me properly they trumped up charges of me being a danger to myself and every one around me, and told my social worker I'd have to leave. Was the best damned thing they ever could of done for me.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Maybe they see these people as less than they are.  They don't matter.  I know that I am blessed every day with something my son does.  We have a lot of laughs.  He feels and thinks... god only knows what sometimes... but he is so sweet and young.  How he understands things is often like a young um and to think of anyone using someone like him for a kick makes me very sadistic. 

One time the doctor needed to talk to us and the security guards were to watch him by monitor about five feet from the room my son was in.  He was still on medications and hallucinated still.  He was never to be left alone and I didn't feel good about it.  Well they didn't watch him.  He got scared, he had a need to go to the bathroom and they wouldn't listen to him when he opened his door.  Who knows what he was seeing and feeling, but I know when alone he was afraid.  Who wouldn't be when you hallucinated god knows what?

I got back and there was blood all over my son... blood all over the room.  The room was a total mess.. holes in the walls... my sons shirt bottons had been ripped from his shirt with cloth still on them.  He only needed to go to the bathroom and they wouldn't let him... mom was gone and they were yelling at him to go back into the room.  He used the bed to bang the wall.  Three large men handled him alright.. but to my pleasure... the blood wasn't his!  He wouldn't hurt a fly but on that night, somehow he did and I was glad!  He might have been one hundred and ten pounds... but he had been an oil rigger and with the medications he no longer is on... somehow he tapped into that strength and fought them.



lronitulstahp -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 4:56:52 PM)

.....And yet, there are also caring, concerned professionals who offer a place of solitude to people who were abused and neglected by their very own families. 

There are horror stories, and often you hear of them....because the negative seems to travel much more quickly than the everyday and mundane stories.

i have worked in the healthcare field, and now specifically, as a behavior analyst caring for people that society would rather pretend didn't exist.  And i can honestly say i have seen so much of the good!  So much that lets me know what a great responsibility it is to be voice of a person that without the care given by my peers and myself, might go through this life ignored, and unrepresented.

People that would willingly  harm a disabled person...they are beneath contempt.  But  in my experience, they are few in the field.  The bad weeds get weeded out pretty darn quickly.  And YHMA, if you really  know of a place where people are or were being abused you can call the National Abuse hotline and report it,  even anonymously if you choose.

1-800-96-A-B-U-S-E....  Advocacy is the answer....complaints that aren't voiced allow abuse to happen.




Lockit -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 5:49:33 PM)

Thank you again Ironitulstahp!  I have met some very wonderful people in it all and did give them credit on my myspace.  My mom was in a nursing home for a while when she was in a coma and for a short bit after and we never had any problems.  My grandmother and mother had some great caregiver's and believe me, I loved them far more than I did family!  They loved and cared for these beautiful women as if they were their own mother's and I will be thankful to them until the day I die!  Watching my mother with her big blue eyes looking at her caregiver was an amazing thing!  That was love!

I only wish I knew how to contact the lady and wish my family would help me do so.  I would have her here with us in a heartbeat.  She could live free until she was needed even!

Just the heart you have shown here to me today... in email and all... was a blessing to me.  That article brought up a lot of bad memories for me and in my tired state... it kinda got to me!  Thank you!



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/10/2009 6:12:15 PM)

I wish I knew that years ago, at 17 when I got out of the group home. I would of called. By they way us girls there did voice complaints and wrote incident reports, and nothing ever came of our complaints, except in my case, where my child advocate lawyer insisted they stop, and then like I said I was kicked out on trumped up charges of being a danger to myself and every one around me.


quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp
And YHMA, if you really  know of a place where people are or were being abused you can call the National Abuse hotline and report it,  even anonymously if you choose.

1-800-96-A-B-U-S-E....  Advocacy is the answer....complaints that aren't voiced allow abuse to happen.





purepleasure -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/11/2009 12:01:28 AM)

Stories like this happen way more often than any of us care to know.  It's also why my brother lives with me instead of being in a facility.



Lockit -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/11/2009 8:52:35 PM)

Eleven people are about to be arrested on felony charges.  Some of the fights date back to 2007.  Four employee's were no longer working at the school and the rest are on leave.  They had video of twenty fights and fifty disabled persons involved.  They all have been medically checked out and have no injuries at this time and are getting counseling.

I would post a link, but roadrunner seems to block anything from there unless you are a customer...



slvemike4u -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/11/2009 10:42:06 PM)

Growing up I watched a young reporter ,who shall remain nameless(and whose career since include such highlights as opening up Al Capone's secret vault) ,break an actual story.The once young and relentless journalist had managed to sneak a camera into the State Facility of Willowbrook.I was a mere teenager,those images will never leave me.How any society can lay claim to some level of humanity while we treat our disabled and infirmed in such a callous way is beyond me.Take heart Lockit and keep a good and clear head at all times....I have every confidence you will secure a dignified placement for your son when the time comes to make such arrangements....



Lockit -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/12/2009 8:48:56 AM)

Thank you Mike, I'm doing the best I can for sure.  I know the reporter you're talking about.  I mean, I don't know him personally... but know who you're speaking of.  He had my brother on his show once and my brother broke down.  After years with reporter's and talk shows and such, he had never broken down and felt awful because he did.  He couldn't even speak and the reporter just came and hugged him.  I liked him before that... but when I heard how he treated my brother, I liked him even more!



slvemike4u -> RE: Fight club in home for disabled (3/12/2009 8:52:45 AM)

Even after watching the Capone vault fiasco.....Geraldo sold out many years ago....



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