Question for Merc & other sadists (Full Version)

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DeviantlyD -> Question for Merc & other sadists (3/9/2009 7:39:02 PM)

A question came to mind when I read Merc's response in the Use of the Third Person thread.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

These responses provide another reason. It pisses people off. As a sadist, I derive sadistic pleasure and satisfaction in their discomfort and contempt.


My question to Merc is, do you genuinely feel that promoting discomfort and contempt (that you don't necessarily see) really speaks to your sadistic side rather than some other aspect of who you are? Please note that I feel compelled to ask only from a point of curiosity and not annoyance or anything like that. I have heard many people use their sadistic nature to justify doing pretty much anything - including some rather repugnant behaviour. I'm not implying this is the case with you Merc, as I've seen enough of your posts to believe you aren't that sort.

For other sadists, have you ever found yourself using sadism as an excuse for some less than honourable behaviours or comments - realizing it after the fact?




LadyPact -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/9/2009 8:11:52 PM)

I won't speak for Merc.  Like you, I happen to be a fan of his.

In the context and thread that you pulled the comment from, I have to reiterate what I said there.  For Me, it had nothing to do with My sadism.  The topic at hand, in My view, was other people's preferences when standing against the authority over My submissive.  I claim Mine.  I would tend to think that Merc claims his.

I do not participate in non consensual sadism.  If I chose to play at consent/non consent games with My sub, that is something else entirely.  While I'll fully admit that, at times, I do have the urge to just slap the sh*t out of someone (I drive on the roads in GA.  What can I say?) My sadism is for My dynamic and play arrangements alone.  One is fun.  The other tends to get people arrested.

Promoting discomfort, be in on a physical, mental, or emotional level and enjoying it, isn't an especially bad definition of sadism.




junecleaver -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/9/2009 8:29:42 PM)

I thought he was just being witty.

As to my own sadism...I like to hurt people just a little bit more than they originally wanted to be hurt.  So I would get nothing out of that situation.  Sadism like any other thing under the sun can be used as an excuse.




Cuffkinks -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/9/2009 8:40:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD
For other sadists, have you ever found yourself using sadism as an excuse for some less than honourable behaviours or comments - realizing it after the fact?



No.
While I do have a sadistic streak, and don't really care what others think of me, I try to do eveything I do with honor. And that's done for me. No one else.
So...I couldn't see myself behaving in the way you mention.




DavanKael -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/9/2009 9:06:58 PM)

I giggled when I read Merc's reply; Merc and beth rock!  :> 
I can be psychologically sadistic when someone has provoked my ire (I do not interject it as a matter of pleasure into relationships though it gives me great pleasure to inflict psychological pain/discomfort when I believe it warranted) and also greatly enjoy pissing people off and being off-putting similarly to Merc's assertion.  I am not sure it is as much about sadism as not liking to be bullied by the 'thought police' or other peoples' ideas of normalcy; I rather disdain the idea of wearing masks of other peoples' choosing (Unless they're someone important to me).  My extraction of pain via sadism tends to take a greater subtlety than being intentionally off-putting.  And, no, I never allow my desire for extraction of pain in a sadistic sense to compromise my honor.  My honor is extremely important to me and I have rarely allowed it to be damaged. 
I look forward to reading Merc's reply should he choose to respond.  :> 
Davan




SimplyMichael -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/9/2009 9:24:55 PM)

Not to speak for Merc but as a dear friend of mine...imagine how you can screw with someone who is so dimwitted as to think he is only emailing beth.

Years ago when I used to waste time in chatrooms, it was fun to screw with people who were so busy with their right hands they didn't bother to read profiles and after some guy got all hot and bothered I would tell them to "check out my hot pics" and they would freak out when they realized there were talking to a GUY...

Now screwing with someone who is simply naive isn't fair but someone who thinks they are screwing someone else over?  Priceless.  Anyone can fleece the sheep but can you fleece the sharks?

So, a guy hitting on your woman behind your back?   Yeah, anything is fair game.




LadyPact -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/9/2009 9:40:07 PM)

LOL.  Reminds Me of a game I used to play.

"Want to see My pussy on cam?"

Turn on cam.  Show the cat.  (The four legged kind.)




Valyraen -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 2:04:34 AM)

Do I use it as an excuse to get away with behaving like an ass? No; even (especially) with my sadistic tendencies, I try to remain in control of my urges and not let them control me. Letting it get to the stage where my behavior is so inappropriate that it required an excuse or explanation would definitely involve letting my urges run away with me. I may enjoy the pain and discomfort of others, but I don't particularly enjoy being a dick. Damn conscience!




Lashra -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 3:33:46 AM)

quote:

For other sadists, have you ever found yourself using sadism as an excuse for some less than honourable behaviours or comments - realizing it after the fact?


I reserve my sadism for the one that will appreciate it the most, my sub. I am not into non consensual sadism. Using your sadism just to "piss" people off can a very different effect, it can make people look at you as if you are just plain stupid. Hence the "sadism" is  a wasted effort.

~Lashra




VanessaChaland -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 4:45:55 AM)

There is a very fine line between a "sadist" that uses her/his powers for "good" and those that use it for evil.

A "good" sadist can administer a sound spanking to a willing and compliant submissive.
A "good" sadist knows what to do, when and how to get her/his slaves rocks off and thereby enjoy it mutually.

A "bad" sadist is an asshole. They should be incarcerated, mocked, banned, denied, prosecuted, persecuted and shamed.

A "bully" is not the same as a "sadist" (within the context of what we all know and do). A bully is a shallow little person who might berate and humiliate others in public to make themself feel like a big man or woman. But once someone challenges that bully face to face in no uncertain terms, the bully will wuss out and back off and back down.




blackcat39 -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 5:46:54 AM)

I'm turned off by the whole cam thing.  I'm also turned off by the whole third person thing.  Its definitely revealing to hear it, but if a person doesn't have enough self esteem to say I, they certainly don't warrant my attention....

It might be considered sadistic or humilating, but I rather have not reveal bedroom activities to the general public too much....
Bedroom banter should be left in the bedroom....between two ( or more ) consenting adults....

I'm scared to see Beth and Marc on the Jerry Springer show one of these days....  ;0




lusciouslips19 -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 6:05:58 AM)

You obviously dont know Merc if you think he is the sort to be on Springer. Him and his wife are classy and intelligent people. I would get to know people before I spewed that kind of garbage. You should be so lucky as to be half the man he is.




VeryNastyDom -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 6:53:32 AM)

Once you have the sub immobilized, the only limits a sadist truly has are those that are self-imposed.  You need to have a great degree of self-control and with every action think about the potential repercussions for the sub.  Anything less has the potential to cross the line from erotic into abuse.




LaTigresse -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 6:57:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackcat39

I'm turned off by the whole cam thing.  I'm also turned off by the whole third person thing.  Its definitely revealing to hear it, but if a person doesn't have enough self esteem to say I, they certainly don't warrant my attention....

It might be considered sadistic or humilating, but I rather have not reveal bedroom activities to the general public too much....
Bedroom banter should be left in the bedroom....between two ( or more ) consenting adults....

I'm scared to see Beth and Marc on the Jerry Springer show one of these days....  ;0



Clueless fellow aren't you.




LaTigresse -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 7:07:32 AM)

My sadistic streak is less of the physical variety than the mental and emotional. That makes it easy to feed, however......

It took me a lot of growing up and a lot of work to get to the place of trying to be always aware and responsible. I still have my moments I am less than proud of. Add that to my low tollerance for stupidity, ability to judge people quickly, and of course I occasionally ride the edge. Fortunately I am a good judge of people, and I don't walk around worrying what others think of me.

I don't run around being mean and nasty to people. I am usually a very positive and kind person. Most people that know me, wouldn't even guess at the sadistic streak. It is only the people that, in some way, ask for it, that see even a fraction of it.




GreedyTop -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 7:15:25 AM)

aww, LaT!!  You're a sadist??  And I thought of you as just a fluffy sweetheart [:D][:D][:D]

*ducks and runs*





LaTigresse -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 7:25:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

aww, LaT!!  You're a sadist??  And I thought of you as just a fluffy sweetheart [:D][:D][:D]

*ducks and runs*




That's just my diguise...>>>[sm=cute.gif]




GreedyTop -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 7:44:50 AM)

[:D][:D][:D][:D]




Mercnbeth -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 8:11:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD
A question came to mind when I read Merc's response in the Use of the Third Person thread.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
These responses provide another reason. It pisses people off. As a sadist, I derive sadistic pleasure and satisfaction in their discomfort and contempt.

My question to Merc is, do you genuinely feel that promoting discomfort and contempt (that you don't necessarily see) really speaks to your sadistic side rather than some other aspect of who you are? Please note that I feel compelled to ask only from a point of curiosity and not annoyance or anything like that. I have heard many people use their sadistic nature to justify doing pretty much anything - including some rather repugnant behavior. I'm not implying this is the case with you Merc, as I've seen enough of your posts to believe you aren't that sort.

For other sadists, have you ever found yourself using sadism as an excuse for some less than honorable behaviors or comments - realizing it after the fact?


Well, Good Morning; Deviantly D!

I don't shirk away from being a sadist, I embrace it as an essential part of me. I appreciate that I am lucky and I'm a 'socially acceptable' sadist. I don't need to permanently harm and have no desire to kill anyone. I don't kick small animals or pull the wings off of flies; however I do stun them with my electric fly swatter and throw them into the web of my 'pet' spider that lives by my pool. I will help a person who trips and falls if they are alright and help them up, but I'm giggling while doing so. I may not always have my crop handy, but I'm always mentally prepared to take advantage of any opportunity to satiate my sadistic craving that presents itself during the day.

Although I thoroughly enjoy inflicting physical pain, and discomfort; my preference is to always involve some kind of mental or emotional sadism. I love creating situations where a person submits to the point of begging, for something they normally would be adverse to experience. "You want to be spanked by me? Am I your servant? Oh, now you're asking? Not good enough - get out!" I love being in control of the mental intercourse. The physical intercourse is the payoff made more enjoyable by the process.

I seek to bend a person to fit into my 'ideal' image of 'slave' or 'submissive'. From first contact, it's my rules under my control. I'm willing to walk away from any situation where that is not the case regardless of what is being offered by the potential partner. 'Safe-words' and 'limits' are counter to that requirement; which is why I won't play with anyone requiring them - their loss. On the other side of the coin, I rarely play with anyone other than beth. Mental and emotional intercourse requires a degree of nakedness beyond skin that requires a comfort level and trust beyond casual familiarity.

The ability to serve and submit has to be there in a person because I will not break a person, I refuse to; and think the idea of creating a resulting automaton abhorrent and the resulting relationship unchallenging. Where is the mental sadism satisfied with a partner mentally broken into capitulation? There isn't even any power exchanged.

Which brings us to the payoff regarding the 'Third Person Speech' comment. The discomfort wasn't intended, but I enjoyed it just the same. Comments and personal opinion of people who know nothing of our relationship, or have zero experience with a long term partner, have no influence on us. Yet the question was directed to something that beth and I employ within our dynamic. It's a positive part of who we are and I wanted to express that. Seeing the disdain for the practice, intolerance, dismissal from people without a clue or maybe the ability to understand the purpose, goal, or how it fit into the rest of our relationship did generate some sadistic satisfaction; so I used the opportunity. I didn't seek it. I didn't post the thread. As part of any response I would never have said that anyone NOT employing 3rd person speech wasn't a 'true Master/slave' or wasn't doing it 'right'. However since that was the attitude conveyed - pointing out that I sadistically truly enjoyed others discomfort was a bonus. Unlike those who didn't offer an opinion, only disdain. Their discomfort, albeit minor, was akin to licking the bowl after making a rich chocolate cake. It's a guilty small pleasure, not the reason for going through the process, but enjoyable none the less. It would have been the case whether I disclosed it or not - disclosing it creates another opportunity. I used it, and since I'm an exhibitionist sadist, I pointed it out.  

To the point raised, I'd love to be on Springer. I doubt he'd have us. Why would he want a successful couple, happy, totally enamored with each other, living well, working in society? It doesn't serve his exploitive purpose. We welcome any opportunity to expose ourselves to the 'vanilla' world if only to illustrate that the people exhibited on Springer do not represent the majority of people we know, and whose company we enjoy, in the 'lifestyle'. Sorry 'cat' if the image we convey outside the bedroom embarrasses you. I feel sorry that you'd prefer us to hide in the closet like you, afraid and lacking the confidence to stand up and represent proudly who you are. We're not afraid. 

We're proud of who we are. We're proud of each other, and the life we have together. We aren't embarrassed exposing any part of it.

We've given two interviews so far. One for John Warren and another for a production company doing a documentary regarding 'non-traditional' couples. No exploitation, and, although they went on for quite a while and it was difficult to do so, beth didn't get naked. she did however speak entirely in the 3rd person.




feydeplume -> RE: Question for Merc & other sadists (3/10/2009 9:19:17 AM)

Let me be really politically correct and point out that your kink is not my kink and vice versa AND that it is all ok that way.

That said (hi MOD XI)
You sound like an ethnocentric twerp. There are any number of languages and cultures where people don't have the word "I" in a Western sense. It's not a self esteem thing for them, or for the majority of people in the 'West' that use this speach style. it is a different way of thinking and behaving. Like the people on this board tend (Not all no tweeked panties please) to have a different way of thinking and having sex.

As for your judgment that this 'stuff' (my own word for WIITWD/BDSM/KINK/FETISH/SEX and etc) 'should' stay in the bedroom, well mean word to you buddy. TPE/AT/PE/24/7 etc means 'doesn't stay in the bedroom'. It is not a 'bedroom' thing for them! That is the point.

DO you only ever flirt or show affection behind bedroom doors? From your post, it could be guessed that you are not comfortable with your desires or the desires of the person that you seek (assuming that you are seeking since you are posting on a dating site forum). Yanno what? It is ok if that is true and if that is what you are looking for.

Nothing wrong or lesser about being a bedroom d/s or BDSM person. if that is the way you are, then that is the way you are. Be true to you and be honest with the people you have in your life.

BUT leave the judgement one your side of the keyboard. Especially is you are going to make yourself such and easy target. Other people on this forum are of your mind-set, that people that have a different lifestyle than themselves are lesser and open to ridicule and they will attack.





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