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RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 6:09:57 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline 		I think that the best advise I've seen so far is that you should wait until she is no longer fresh bait.  I know that just like others have reported, my mail box was overflowing when I first signed on to the point where I didn't have time to even figure out who I wanted to write and what I would say.

Sojourner came after the rush, he sent a short e-mail that was personalized, that easily segued into a response from me (questions that illicit more then a yes or no question are good).  It's hard to stare at a blank screen and want to write but are drawing a blank.

As for preferences-- I've learned that the person with the right personality can override any idealistic preferrence I may have.  While I feel that a person that is 10 years older then me would probably not be a good fit-- I do know some men of your age that seem ageless and would make great partners.

_____________________________


Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 6:46:48 AM   
MissIsis


Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		I think you are doing all the right things with regards to your profile.  From your interactions on the forums, I can't imagine you being rude to anyone you might write to. 

You do have very specific things in your profile. Maybe some people see those things & stop there.  Everyone is different. 

If they toss your email without reading it, they probably aren't worth anymore of your time & it is a great clue to cross that person off your list.   I almost always read & respond to emails sent to me, but sometimes I get tired of the plain old "hi" emails.  Those usually are written by someone with almost nothing on their profiles, so once in awhile, I will just delete them.  Or if the person writing is rude, or demanding, into the trash, those will go, as well.  I have a rather lengthy profile on purpose.  It helps me weed out those that haven't bothered to read it. 

Things I look at when I get messages, are the profiles.  Are they filled out?  Do they have a pic that can show me I might have an attraction to them?  Are they full of a wish list of what they want done to them?  Not interested.  I look at their forum posts.  Is there anything there?  For me, it gives me a glimpse of the personality.  Are they naked?  Not interested.  Are they dressed in women's clothing?  Not interested. 

If those things are in order, I love hearing from people that can carry on a normal vanilla conversation, & are polite.  I want to know why they are writing, & why they are interested in me.  A paragraph for first contact is usually more than enough to start.  I always feel bad when I get almost a book from people, & have to tell them I am not interested.   Think of it almost like a job resume.  You have much to say, but only a little bit of room to say it.  You want to make the person more curious.  Often, you can use something you found in their profile to use in your introduction that might make them want to know more about you.  That way, they not only know you read it, but they see that you might have something in common with them. 

(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 6:48:12 AM   
manxcat


Posts: 673
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline 		I have answered all but one cmail.  Of course because i am in South Dakota, and do not really discuss bdsm/preferences, and would need someone to relocate tome, i get less mail than most. I too have enjoyed your posts, and cannot imagine you being disrespectful in your contact.  If i were sub i would definitely be interested. 
Like some others have said, respond directly to something in her profile or journal.  Leave out the kinky stuff for a while.  I do not discuss any of that for the first few cmails, and then only hard limit list exchange for the next few.  IMO, i  think the women you would want a relationship with, all of that is secondary, and other factors of primary importance.  Yes, i have perved you.
You can also look at it this way, you could be better off not having a response, if they cannot see your good qualities.  I do know that i look for forum posts to get a better idea of who someone is, and you might include a note suggesting they look there as well, in their consideration of response.
Best of luck.


manxcat


_______________
Artists make lousy slaves. -Jodi Jensen

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 6:50:19 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		To be honest, I think for you , it's going to take time--you present a very accomplished, put together, life and family focused person, and you mention a package deal--young women may see your age as too old and not willing to take on young UM as they may want their own, older women don't want young UM's as theirs are older--others may think you are looking for a rent a mom--and Im not sure you will find that in a "goth girl"--smiles. There is nothing wrong with being specific in what you are looking for, but as they say--no response is a response, or they may not be that in to you--its going to take time, and sadly its very hard on a site like this it takes alot of work and a lot  of patience to find that strong blend of vanilla and kink.

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I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 7:28:15 AM   
loveandlight87


Posts: 110
Joined: 2/27/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not sure if by 'new person' you mean new to you or new to cm.  As others have suggested, when first on, particularly if we have a pic on our profile, we are slammed with messages.  I tried very hard to answer every single one.  Not always in a timely way, but I tried.  The only time I have ever deleted without reading was when it was from someone that I had already exchanged messages with and knew that they were rude or trying to wank. 

Since I am a total cuddleslut, entertaining the notion of a LDR is just not good for me.  So if someone is far away (like you) no matter how interesting they look (like you) I just don’t attempt to develop anything.  Too hard on the heart for me.  So, when I would get a message from someone like you that was a nice, thought out message, I would respond, but keep it cool and be clear that nothing would be developing.

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Owned and adored by SirSteveS

(in reply to feydeplume)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 7:48:51 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feydeplume

yanno... I always DO respond to those. I used to have a collection  of cock shots from random people and my and the girls (some of whom were men) would send them back and forth trying to decide which porn star it reminded us of. (shudders at my own sentence structure there)

But yeah, i like cock shots. I think they are fun. But will i go out of my way to get to know the guy if its just a cock shot and "hi", probably not. If he can give me a good or interesting reason for the cock shot then yeah maybe.

Piercings get bonus points (with the crew at least) and proof that it is longer than 8 inches or more than 3 inches around also get extra points. Yes we had a whole grading scale and the Eastern Judges were always the toughest.



Fair enough.

I will get busy on a pic which shows my scrote nailed to a ping pong paddle next to a Coke can for size referance , accompanied by  paragraph or two on how cute and hot your elfin ears are.

Yup, those Eastern judges are a bitch.


_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to feydeplume)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 1:03:22 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Hello MMC,
 
I do agree that new women on here are often flooded with e-mails especially if they have attractive photos.  If you want to know someone's personality stay active on the Forums and have casual conversations.  Long letters that are serious can be intimidating and confusing for many that receive them.  You are a solid, stand-up guy best I can tell from your posts here.  So it follows that you need to find a woman with a similar strength of character.
 
Warm regards,
 
Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 1:27:44 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Take it from me....ya gotta hit'em when thay are fresh...No one goes to the grocery store to buy old and lifeless asparagus covered in cum.  Just look at the majority of the subs out here.  Worn out and have lost all elasticity. Some how they have managed to stay on display even though they are way beyond their shelf life.

Unfortunately you, as well as many othes, are in competition with my mass marketing and mailing scheme along with the fact that I have noticed that you have contacted several of my other "personas" that our out here trolling for some hawt "bi" action.

I never read anyones profile...Everday I send out thousands of "pasted' letters of introduction...Sometimes when feeling industrious I might include their names or feign interests in some of their likes such as "talking for hours, or long walks on the beach."...I could care less if they are from Africa, married, lesbos, attached, prodommes, fat, sick or are currently not looking...All I'm shooting for is the typical 1-2% positive rate of return one might expect on such a huge mass mailing.  I'll sort later.

Hope this helps.


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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 1:29:23 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		(giggle fit )  domiguy, you are in fine form today! 

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 1:34:58 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not a submissive, but your posts/profile say to someone who thinks like me, that you are too involved with yourself, your children and your life to nurture a relationship.   Relationships require time, and courtship rituals, and my reading of your posts/profile would tell me you are unavailable to make the lady an even close to the top priority.    

While I believe everyone ought to have a life they live without a need for a partner, I don't tend to go for men who don't make the lady they are courting an important/close to if not top priority in his life.    I don't date for the convenience of having someone to occasionally go out to dinner with or do;   I do it for the intimacy and long term partner potential.     M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 3:13:08 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		you can increase your return by taking out an ad, maybe something with your ovesized schlong?

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 4:08:31 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		Well geesh domiguy, even you turn me down.

Ladies, you have given me some good advice. The ummms at my age, I know they bother a lot of people. But, I just don't feel like an old dad.

I don't need a rent a mom, but, you are right, I do want someone who values family (boy, do I have a large family ... brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, many generations). Pull back, don't be so serious, I do try and stay close to me, keep it vanilla and relax.

That is constructive advice. Thanks


_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 4:26:00 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		OK, domiguy, how many persona's do you have? I'm trying to find them.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 5:41:38 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		I personally love long, eloquent emails, and I think I've answered every one I've ever received. 

My feeling is that you shouldn't try to change your own personal style to try to accommodate whatever subs come along.  Rather, continue being yourself until the one whose fuse is lit by your sparks comes along.  I know it's a long wait, but it should be worth it.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/19/2009 10:36:59 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Everyone has a favourite topic - themselves. This is something I learned years ago teaching TEFL English in Eastern Europe, if you want someone to talk get them to talk about themselves, because you know they will always be able to find something to say. The best way to engage someone here on CM I find is to get them to talk about themselves.

You still might not get anywhere or find that relationship, but if you are able to approach any profile and elicit a positive response, then surely that's progress.

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CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
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(in reply to OmegaG)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How to Contact a new person on Collarme? - 2/20/2009 11:29:45 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MidMichCowboy

OK, domiguy, how many persona's do you have? I'm trying to find them.


I can't divulge their names.  Top secret project.

Anywhooo,  this is the way it works. Set up several female/sub/bi profiles.  put up a pic of someone hawt!!!!  If you use a picture of someone well known it might not work...These subs are dumb but I have learned the hard way that 22% of them can successfully recognize a picture of Angelina Jolie....Now, back to the discussion at hand.

Okay...You have now successfully set up "your" profile of  "hotwatontwatslitwaiting4U" and now you just wait for the responses.  It helps if in your profile you say something derogatory about how dumb men are and that any men that respond to your profile will be ignored and go straight into the ol' cum dumpster.

You might even want to send out a few messages of your own...Tell some hawt and dirty  bi chick how cute her hair is or comment on her shoes or boots.  I don't know why, for the life of me, chicks seem to eat this kind of shit right up. They are so dumb and so predictable.

Enjoy!

_____________________________



(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 36
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