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Master69Lee -> older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 9:37:10 AM)

if this has already been done i apologize but im just wondering does anyone know why its so hard for a young guy to find an older sub/slave woman on here? and is there a simpler way than trawling through every single profile on the off chance you see one that says younger dom wanted?



velvetears -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 9:50:18 AM)

Generally i think people like to find partners they can connect with on all levels and share things in common with - that's harder to do with someone not in your own age range.  i also think that an older sub will more than likely have some experience under her belt and perhaps want someone with experience who can give her the experiences she needs. Being with a younger dom will be like starting over from square one.  Just some of my own thoughts - of course this isn't across the board - everyone is unique and i think if you keep at it you will find what you are looking for. 



VeryNastyDom -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 9:50:44 AM)

I can't speak for the subs, but I imagine a lot of them are looking for a Dom with more experience.  I have seen numerous posts from subs that don't take young Doms seriously just because of their age.  There is not much you can do about that except wait - age takes care of itself in due time.  I also suspect that most older subs want a long-term relationship while many (not all, but many) of the younger members are looking for play partners rather than something serious.

As for how do you find the ones that are interested, might I suggest the "text or city" search box.  The free text search on this site works pretty well although you will get false positives as in "I am not looking for someone much younger . . . " but is beats reading every profile.



eyesopened -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 9:55:20 AM)

Define "older."

If I were seeking, I would find it WAY too creepy to consider someone the same age as my offspring.

My Master is 9 years my junior which means He found an older submissive with relative ease.



Master69Lee -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 9:56:19 AM)

already tried the text search box it doesnt help much and as velvettears says the main problem is that people tend to link age with experience but what i would like to know is are there any older women on here looking for younger doms and i dont just mean for play

as for the age gap to me it doesnt matter and wether its 1 year or 10 or more its just people keep assuming because im younger i lack experience and it will never work



feydeplume -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 10:03:27 AM)

I think your might have better luck actually to say that you DO want play and practice with an older sub. Is there a reason that you are seeking an older sub? 



Master69Lee -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 10:08:38 AM)

no particular reason just when i approach the older ones the general response is too young and im wondering why



angelwithhonor -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 10:10:42 AM)

....i get Doms who is my daughters age (24)or younger...i dont mean to offend or say they dont have the experience to be a good Dom..but for me i cant date or play with someone20 yrs younger than me. and also being older Dom i dont find a comfortable spot..just your preferance[;)]



feydeplume -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 10:21:58 AM)

If you are just looking for ANYONE, then your chances of finding someone are a lot lower. If you are looking for someone, a person that likes x and y, loved say Star Wars and kickboxing, then, as counter intuitive as this sounds, you are far more likely to find a person that will want to get to know you too. Then age stops being so much of an issue because there is human compatibility.

If you are actually looking for an older more experienced sub that will act as a training bottom for you, not topping from the bottom but giving you a safe place to learn and grow with the accompanying attachments that will happen, then look for that person.

But look for a PERSON, not just anybody or somebody. YOU are a person and you deserve a person to be with in this fun little world we call sexuality.



feydeplume -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 10:25:49 AM)

Yeah right and you would kick Brat Pitt out of your bed if he showed up with handcuffs and a bottle of bubbly. *wink*

I know i would have some reservations about playing with an 18 or 21 (depending on the legalities of that state) but that is because of the intensity of the emotion that THEY will bring to it, not because I am afraid that i might look at my kid or MUCH younger sibling, or his lovers in a *bad* way.  I might giggle more than I already do, but hey I already laugh my ass off at half the stuff I see and most of what i do anyways.



thishereboi -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 10:30:21 AM)

For me, I want a partner near to my own age so yes you would be too young. It has nothing to do with whether I think your experienced or not. I don't want a relationship with someone young enough to be my kid. I know there are people out there who don't care about age, but most of the people I know want someone at least in the same generation.



Master69Lee -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 10:39:41 AM)

i know what your saying about interests as ive met a few people with the same interests but again the problem pops up of being too young so we end up as friends (not that im complaining about being friends)



CalifChick -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 11:23:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Master69Lee

no particular reason just when i approach the older ones the general response is too young and im wondering why



When you can figure out the answer to that question, you will no longer be considered "too young."


And in the interest of NOT being cryptic, what that means is that usually when I try to explain to someone why their age is an issue, they will argue up one side and down the other, trying to convince me that I am wrong.  The very fact that they are arguing the point PROVES that they are too young. 

For instance, if I say that someone is young enough to be my own child, they will argue that doesn't matter.  Well, it matters to me, and telling me that it shouldn't matter is not the way to change my mind.

Or if I say that I prefer someone with more life experience, they will again tell me how mature they are.  Umm... okay, but what does that have to do with experience that you can only gain by a combination of living life and the passage of time spent living life?


Cali



RealSub58 -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 11:48:14 AM)


I don't understand why older men are "allowed" without lifted eyebrows to pick up a "girl" 20-30 years young than they.
But a guy who wants a cougar is told "too young."

I had a terrific online "relationship" with a kid from the UK about 4 summers ago. He was mature for his age, well educated at University and loved older women.
We had webcam voice chats and it was just fun as we shared about everything. I would have considered him if he'd been on this side of the pond. He still sends me brief IM offline messages.

First off "Master 69 Lee" your age and experience in life is not that of a master.  Face it, what have you really mastered in your own life.
Your profile is not well written so for me you lack education. The reference to 69 is highschoolish, sorry secondary school for you Brits.

You can email me on the other side if you want more tips on why my online "relationship" with T was successful.



TamBaby -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 11:55:32 AM)

MasterLee
I agree with u 100%. As a sub I couldn't imagine being with a youngin. I couldn't take his commands seriosly. I am currently looking 4 a new Master. If u can suggest anyone please let me know



CatdeMedici -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 12:05:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Master69Lee

no particular reason just when i approach the older ones the general response is too young and im wondering why


probably because you are...too young--I am not a sub, but I didn't even look for a sub that was younger than 47 or so, its important for Me as Velvet said that we connect on a multitude of levels--not into the sugar mommy role and would never have someone even within 20 years of My UM's age.



Missokyst -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 12:06:16 PM)

I have dated younger men most of my life.  5 yrs, 20.. its not the age or the experience that counts for me, it is the personality.  People say they want experience and I think that is a bigger issue for people who don't know what they are doing yet.  But I have done this for many years and I know enough stuff and haven't lost my joy in exploring it again and again with someone who may not  have done this before.  It is almost like I am getting a resurgence of NEW, in their eyes.
If I was looking, age would not be a deterrent.  But, personality, character, drive, talent, creativity, desire and things as simple as the regular life things we have in common will determine whether or not I will date someone, or if I will take direction from them.
I am not alone in this.  I have several women in my group who have no problem dating much younger men. 
There is one thing I will say that would stop me from someone younger. And that is if they identify as a master.  Shoot.. I barely tolerate that from men who have been doing this for years!  lol no way could I see a man in his 20's as a master, or 30's for that matter.
When I see that in the ID.. my eyes tend to gloss over.
just my opinion,
Kyst



Lynnxz -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 12:12:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TamBaby

MasterLee
I agree with u 100%. As a sub I couldn't imagine being with a youngin. I couldn't take his commands seriosly. I am currently looking 4 a new Master. If u can suggest anyone please let me know


And people are supposed to take 'that' seriously? [8|]



Jmv0405 -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 4:26:57 PM)

They say you are too young for the simple reason that for them, you are too young.

I have found women who have liked younger doms occasionally.

But you have to admit that our culture installs age with power, and in the S/m society power in a dom is kind of sexy.

But relax, we're all getting old one day at a time. And at the risk of sounding creepy remember that every day there's a whole new group of girls who are legal/in your range of minimal acceptance of age.



Prinsexx -> RE: older subs/slaves (2/18/2009 5:54:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Master69Lee

if this has already been done i apologize but im just wondering does anyone know why its so hard for a young guy to find an older sub/slave woman on here? and is there a simpler way than trawling through every single profile on the off chance you see one that says younger dom wanted?

Forgive me for saying it this way: but if you have an ageist attitude then it will just be reflected right back at you. What I mean by this is that you are making the dynamic to do with age. In my experience it is not: it is to do with the person. I have known Doms 20 years my junior who have such a security and wisdom about their role. Likewise I have known Doms older than myself who give off a kind of insecurity.
I would suggest to look closely at why you want an older submissive and then look at why you would want a submissive full stop..



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