RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect?

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MysticalPhoenix -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/20/2006 4:51:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaJules I'm just wondering...within the lifestyle and meeting new people (read Masters/Doms) is it too much to expect to have a bit of normalcy in the meeting and getting to know each other? I don't know if it's something about me or how i behave but it seems like there is an unspoken permission to be groped upon meeting. What ever happened to lunch, dinner, drinks even coffee...nice conversation and getting to know one another...kinda like real dating? I know this lifestyle is a bit more upfront with sexual issues and i honestly don't have a problem with that...however, the lack of basic manners i've seen (not necessarily from CollarMe.com contacts but in general) is quite appalling. I'd love to hear the thoughts of the Masters and Doms out there as well as the experiences of any subs that see this. Thanks in advance [:)] This may not be for everyone, but I came up with an idea for handling the upcoming first meeting between myself and the boy I am hoping to offer a training collar to, making sure both of us are on the same page, our expectations are clear, and no there will unexpected surprises. The meeting itself will be very vanilla. We are meeting in a coffee house, and after that we'll go to lunch. The circumstances, however, have him completely under my control from start to finish. I scripted our meeting. What he's to do when he walks in the place, how to approach me, to greet me, etc. What to do when we leave for the restaurant, etc. I gave him the opportunity to review the script and my permission to comment on it. Even if scripting a meeting isn't for you, I recommend that anyone meeting someone for the first time, talk it over beforehand and make sure that one of you isn't expecting sex that the other person has no plans to offer. Phoenix

Sartoris32801 -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/20/2006 8:19:18 AM)
Grabbing her from the table before dessert by the back of the hair, dragging her off to the car where she’s cuffed; whisked off to the cave where she’s tied up and you have your way with her for days isn’t normal? I’ve always meant for coffee, drinks, lunch or dinner, with little or no expectation and the understanding that either party can walk away, no questions asked. Most of the time the chemistry is not there, other times there is enough to at least meet again and on a very rare occasion there was a sexual arousal on both parts that led to not waiting for dessert. Sartoris

Bathsheba -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/20/2006 9:09:25 AM)
Normalcy?? What the heck is that?? Surely the word is normality ???

FloridaJules -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/20/2006 10:07:55 AM)
Main Entry: nor·mal·cy Pronunciation: 'no r-m&l-seFunction: noun: the state or fact of being normal Hope that helps expand your vocabulary [sm=rolleyes.gif]

FloridaJules -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/20/2006 10:15:48 AM)
Back on topic, again, i'd like to thank all of you that have contributed with your insight and experiences...this is a journey that is a constant learning experience and i appreciate the sharing of yours.

krikket -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/20/2006 6:45:40 PM)
When i was still meeting people from on-line i'd say, usually in an early letter or at a "first meet" that i not only don't play, want to any groping, sex, etc., on a first (or maybe more) and that it's a hard limit. My thought is that if they won't respect that, then i'm not gonna allow sex, bondage, or any thing else because they obviously don't know how to listen, and to do otherwise would be unsafe, foolish, and our meeting is over if they keep it up. good luck.

Manawyddan -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/21/2006 6:09:50 AM)
I entirely expect a first meeting to be 100% vanilla, though as RealDeal1963 posted, you have to follow your instincts. My inclination would be as his were though: a touch to the wrist, the back of the neck, an earlobe ... more of an intrusion into personal space than groping. Sometimes when I've met a woman for the first time at a munch, I've simply asked whether I can pull her hair a little bit before we leave. Some of the time I've gotten 'no,' some of the time it's been a light little scene we can each carry with us for the rest of the day.

MasterLark -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/21/2006 7:19:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaJules I'm just wondering...within the lifestyle and meeting new people (read Masters/Doms) is it too much to expect to have a bit of normalcy in the meeting and getting to know each other? ...however, the lack of basic manners i've seen (not necessarily from CollarMe.com contacts but in general) is quite appalling. I'd love to hear the thoughts of the Masters and Doms out there as well as the experiences of any subs that see this. Thanks in advance [:)] Not too much to ask, in fact, in my view, it should be expected. Of course you did not mention whatever conversations etc led up to the first meeting and that can make a difference as to how a first meeting goes. But my view of being a Master is that courtesies always matter, and normal conversations have a place. We all start as human beings, whatever the role we want to enhance. If he is arrogant and uncivil before you meet him, he probably will be that way when you meet him the first time.

desoutter -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/21/2006 10:24:14 AM)
Now this is a meaty topic.... I have seen it all (lie)... and I am here to say: it is appalling... I must be one of the rare Doms who respects the woman before the sub... whatever did happen to just plain old manners? #1 - respect the woman #2 - get to know the woman #3 - know the the limits #4 - respect the limits #5 - Honesty - communication - understanding #6 - respect the limits #7 - enjoy!

Petruchio -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/21/2006 4:35:58 PM)
quote: Whew. Is it just me, or is it really hot in here? I can't believe no one followed up on that opening. They must have been distracted by Jules and me negotiating for housework. Yep, you're hot!

KatyLied -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/21/2006 5:14:15 PM)
I got distracted while looking at a particular tat.

erebus -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/21/2006 7:47:03 PM)
I totally oppose anyone pushing anything on the first meeting! For gosh sakes, what the heck have we come to? I agree this is a very bad thing. But...it has happened to me. Nothing more than brushing legs and touching an arm. This is an opening. The reaction will tell all. I've had a woman pick up my hand from hers and drop it on the table! Well, that message was received and I was gone from that situation (dinner) as fast as I could make it. Groping, on the other hand, is way beyond the pale. The only time it would be appropriate is if the female starts things off, and is obviously interested in more. Can be a fine line. I've been in the situation where a woman says, 'stop'. I don't care if she 'really' means go further; I'm stopping. In today's world, it's foolish do go against an expressed thought. Expect bad things to happen to those who ignore the warning signs...or words.

FloridaJules -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (1/23/2006 9:04:53 PM)
It looks like the topic has played itself out but again, i'd like to thank everyone that took the time to respond...there were some wonderful suggestions as well as practical answers. And...Petruchio, Sir...if you find that house slave....let me know? hehehehee

Dracironsgirl -> RE: Is a little normalcy too much to expect? (2/2/2006 6:52:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FloridaJules I'm just wondering...within the lifestyle and meeting new people (read Masters/Doms) is it too much to expect to have a bit of normalcy in the meeting and getting to know each other? I don't know if it's something about me or how i behave but it seems like there is an unspoken permission to be groped upon meeting. What ever happened to lunch, dinner, drinks even coffee...nice conversation and getting to know one another...kinda like real dating? I know this lifestyle is a bit more upfront with sexual issues and i honestly don't have a problem with that...however, the lack of basic manners i've seen (not necessarily from CollarMe.com contacts but in general) is quite appalling. I'd love to hear the thoughts of the Masters and Doms out there as well as the experiences of any subs that see this. Thanks in advance [:)] no i dont think so ....it is always or usually awkward when first meeting someone at least for me it is ..i like to get to know a person a bit before anything else is to come ...like in any relationship in the begining, it takes time to build a good thing for me...Master was very easy with me at first meeting and in time i felt comfy enough to go on from there...just depends on the situation and circumstances i would think no ? ~kristin

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