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RE: dom/dom relationships - 3/19/2009 4:35:50 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChelseaNY

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I've never been in a dom/dom relationship. But I have been in relationships where the authority was equally given. It just never worked. I would find myself secretly trying to give my authority or take theirs away. lol

See this is what i would wonder on the subject. Is a monogamous D/D relationship possible without any outside sub play. Would a sub be a necessity for both to really be happy ?

G'day Chelsea,
You pose an interesting question there about monogamy, yet it does come accross to me as though you see play with a sub (or slave in our case), as automatically including sexual intimacies. Amongst my circle of kink friends who are Dom/Dom couiples, severat are also monogopmous and mannage to enjoy fulfilling BDSM activities with their individual or joint sub/slaves. Hope this answers your question.

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RE: dom/dom relationships - 3/19/2009 5:29:02 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ravennomore

I am new to BDSM and slowly reading and finding my way. My boyfriend is a practiced Dom. As he was introducing me to the lifestyle after our established vanilla relationship began, I became very interested in joining in. I really felt like I was a submissive, but the more we explore it seems I am more of a dominant as well. What thoughts do you have on successful Dom/Dom relationships?

I think they're fine so long as there's mutual respect -pretty much the same as with any "succesful" relationship. But then, I'm probably biased, being married in one (despite my spousal unit often being mistaken for being submissive because he's so completely a Type B personality lol! He's used to it and just rolls with it).

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Post #: 22

RE: dom/dom relationships - 3/20/2009 4:06:33 AM

CNJDom

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
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Dom/Domme relationships exist and do work, just as sub/sub relationships exist. Some complicate and some simplify, but usually there are boundaries set and respected that make this happen. Some couples will play together, while some may only partially play together, and some will exist together while not actually playing together as a couple. Depends on the structural dynamic involved.

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Post #: 23

RE: dom/dom relationships - 3/20/2009 12:15:31 PM

ChelseaNY

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Joined: 3/13/2009
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No although sex could be part of it, since we are discussing a D/D couple i more specifically mean the lifestyle. If both are Dom/me i don't see how a monogamous relationship would work. How would they relieve those dominant desires ?

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RE: dom/dom relationships - 3/20/2009 3:24:43 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChelseaNY

quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver

I've never been in a dom/dom relationship. But I have been in relationships where the authority was equally given. It just never worked. I would find myself secretly trying to give my authority or take theirs away. lol

See this is what i would wonder on the subject. Is a monogamous D/D relationship possible without any outside sub play. Would a sub be a necessity for both to really be happy ?

Iron Bear might have pretty much covered this already, but it's another couple of pennies.

I'm half of what some would consider a D/D couple. My husband and I don't have any power based relationship of any kind. If we didn't happen to have any kinky interests, our marriage (just the marriage) would look like anyone else's on the block. We just happen to have lots of unusual toys. Oh yeah, and there's that guy who happens to be here a lot. LOL.

There are a lot of folks involved in D/D couples who don't have any type of sexual service in their external D/s dynamics. In fact, I'm very specific about that in My profile. I participate in casual play, not casual sex, and if that is what a sub is looking for, I'm not a good match.

ETA..... I relieve Mine by beating people. It works every time.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 3/20/2009 3:25:33 PM >

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RE: dom/dom relationships - 3/20/2009 10:03:46 PM

CNJDom

Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChelseaNY

No although sex could be part of it, since we are discussing a D/D couple i more specifically mean the lifestyle. If both are Dom/me i don't see how a monogamous relationship would work. How would they relieve those dominant desires ?

One way for the D/D couple to relieve those dominant desires, is that the play is with the subs and the sex is with the partner. One would cancel out the other on the dominant scale when it came to the sexual part at home. When you are done playing with the sub(s), then they take each other arm and arm and have fun as equals. Concept is there, and the respect for each other would have to be there, but it's possible to have a monogamous relationship built on that dynamic.

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Post #: 26