figure this one out

figure this one out (Full Version)

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sensura -> figure this one out (2/11/2009 10:15:37 AM)
I am posting this as I cant figure this out for the life of me and neither has anyone Ive told. My ex husband is a non sexual person, when we were together there was sex for first few months and then nothing. I had told him from the start that I didnt care if he looked at porn, which he said he had no interest in. Then 8 months into the marriage I find him looking at porn sites some disturbing and caught him once jacking off. He told me he had no interest in sex and didnt know why. Yet here he was looin at porn and neglecting me. He also did this trying to hide it from me. I am a very sexual person and obviously non vanilla. Needless to say, we separated and stayed friends and Ive met a wonderful Master. Oh and he did this with his ex I had found out as well so it wasnt that he wasnt attracted to me. Im curious to see some of the responses I get. Sensura

KyttynTheMynx -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 10:17:49 AM)
He's an ex for a reason. Stop thinking about it and focus on the current things in your life.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 10:20:17 AM)
He is a very insecure person, who fears intimacy. He will be compelled to continue this pattern. He is ruled by his fear.

RCdc -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 10:21:22 AM)
It's not really a big thing. Some people don't enjoy sexual intercourse. Some people get sexual responses from porn. It's just a thing. the.dark.

sub4hire -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 4:39:49 PM)
If you're with somebody else why are you still obsessing over him?

sensura -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 5:35:47 PM)
Not obsessing Im just trying to figure out why it is that someone can look at porn and get off but not be sexual with another person.

DarkSteven -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 6:43:06 PM)
Real people are complicated. Porn isn't.

Celene -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 6:51:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Real people are complicated. Porn isn't. [sm=applause.gif] That has Hallmark all over it.... only because I won't be able to embroider it on pillows and give it to everyone who needs something fluffy for Valentine's Day. But now (of course) I'm imagining some really complicated porn. [sm=mrpuffy.gif][sm=marionette.gif][sm=passthelube.gif][sm=pineapple.gif][sm=shake.gif]

Lockit -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 6:57:04 PM)
Two things.. I learned from my own experience not understanding why when he had me... he did porn. He couldn't be intimate emotionally and the more he cared about me, the harder he ran and beating off was easier than attempting to please me... which he didn't do so I would stop wanting sex. Vicious cycle.

CatdeMedici -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 7:09:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sensura Not obsessing Im just trying to figure out why it is that someone can look at porn and get off but not be sexual with another person. It's all in the wiring.

TNstepsout -> RE: figure this one out (2/11/2009 7:12:41 PM)
My ex was that way too. I never did figure out why. He's pretty messed up- I figure that has something to do with it.

sub4hire -> RE: figure this one out (2/12/2009 7:04:38 AM)
Ok then, you're a live body he has to do something with. You're effort. Porn isn't. He can do what he wants when he wants..and it is all pleasing him.

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