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Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 4:39:12 PM

MissNataliDemore

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline

I have a question, I'm fairly new to this type of domination and I have a couple subs that are money slaves or like to buy me gifts.
My concern is that they are trying to buy a more lasting (dating , marriage) relationship rather than just serving me
as a sub. What are the norms regarding this?

--------------
Mistress Natali Demore

Post #: 1

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 4:44:17 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

There aren't any, You need to monitor/control this situation.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 2

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 4:45:50 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

There are not any "norms".

Make your own rules, and enforce them.

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(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 3

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 5:06:48 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

Communication and clear expectations would be helpful as well. If you are not comfortable with this, then do not allow it. If you are, but need to clarify things a conversation and rules are in order.

lovingpet

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 4

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 5:14:59 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

Many do hope their submission will lead them into a romantic/intimate relationship with their dominant. If that is not what you want, be clear from the beginning.

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m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 5

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 5:18:40 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Haha, you have just opened a can of hate-worms all over your own thread OP. Many, many people on this site disagree with any form of money exchanging hands for bdsm. Go figure.

Ignore them, the two opinions will never see eye to eye.

If you do not want a romantic relationships with your submissives, make it very clear from the beginning. If they bring it up, remind them again. If they get pushy, cut if off, or I suppose cut it off when the annoyance outweighs the payments.

The subs may try to convince you that since they've been paying you, you owe them sex, or they may want you to cross boundaries you have already set.

I doubt marriage will come up, but be prepared for the 'please let me be your boyfriend' speech. They want all the benefits without paying, not a relationship. I get this all the time, and mostly from dom types. Give them an inch, and they'll demand the whole mile, and now you are out a client.

Then again, I *am* dating one of my very first clients... hehe and couldn't be happier.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 2/5/2009 5:19:49 PM >

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Post #: 6

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 5:20:30 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

If you are trying to ask whether it is ethical to string them along, giving them hope that they might someday date/marry you, when actually they don't have a shot in hell... Then, no. It is not ethical.

So make sure you are not giving them false hope. Tell them up front what you want, what your limitations and expectations are, and that these are not negotiable.

Clear expectations are key to a good relationship, whether business or personal.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 7

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 5:21:46 PM

MissNataliDemore

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/23/2009
Status: offline

Thank you for the replies, I made a mistake once and learned. I've set some rules and I think this
time will be different. I think a clear understanding of expectations are very important, but even
then there is a small diamond of hope in some slaves mind even when you tell them there never
will be anything permanent or intimate.

---------------------
Mistress Natali Demore

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 8

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 5:40:08 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

This false and unfounded hope is not something you can particularly control. If you have laid out the realistic expectations and the slave persists, either he can accept the consequences of his actions or you ma have to cease the relationship. This really depends on your perspective on the situation. In the end, nothing should really be happening in the exchange that you are not endorsing. There's a lot of if's here. The answers are going to be personal and specific to each case. Judgement and that small voice that tells you this is something YOU are not comfortable with are your best assets.

lovingpet

(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 9

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 6:01:11 PM

Nikitaa

Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

I have questions as you do. I have some men offer to buy merchandise for me or pay my bills. I respond to them with messages stating I can not be purchased. I assume they are trying to buy favors. I have read this is kink and some men only want to spend money for a mistress and these men want nothing more. This sounds nice but I do not know how to tell difference between true money slaves and men only looking to purchase me.

If you find secret please inform. I do not need money but I sometimes think how easy I can receive new expensive boots I desire by ordering certain men to buy them as gift. Is tempting. In future I may become weak. If you see picture on profile of Nikita in sexy new expensive boots you know I have become weak. lol

(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 10

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 6:09:03 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Hahaha Nikita... usually money guys are full of crap, thinking they can dangle boots or whatever in front of you and you will send them nudie pix. It can be quickly fixed by telling them to send the boots to a P.O box... then they get pissy and call you a fake.... not that they planned on doing anything in the first place. Best guess? They were bored and horny.

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HBIC

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Post #: 11

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 6:52:44 PM

subtex

Posts: 129
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Dallas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissNataliDemore

I have a question, I'm fairly new to this type of domination and I have a couple subs that are money slaves or like to buy me gifts.
My concern is that they are trying to buy a more lasting (dating , marriage) relationship rather than just serving me
as a sub. What are the norms regarding this?

--------------
Mistress Natali Demore

I don't know about the real world but from what I've read online the best way for a Dominant to discourage a sub from pursuing a romantic relationship is to try to have a romantic relationship with that sub. I'm only half kidding. Perhaps my perspective has been distorted by the tons of "Flaky Sub" threads I've read over the years. It just seems out of kilter for a Dominant to be afraid of accidentally falling into what seems so allusive to others.

On a more serious note I agree with the others about full disclosure.

Bill

(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 12

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 8:38:02 PM

energeticservant

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I think the customary thing is to take money from them as long as they're willing to keep sending you money.

I've thought about setting up a female dominant name and seeing if I can get some of these dudes to send me some cash, too. (kidding.. sort of)

(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 13

RE: Money Slaves - 2/5/2009 9:06:50 PM

subtex

Posts: 129
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Dallas
Status: offline

Actually I've heard a few stories money doms being guys. Sending money to somebody you don't know is just stupid. I know when I get my million dollars from that bank account in Nigeria I'm going to be very careful who I send my money to.

Bill

(in reply to energeticservant)

Post #: 14

RE: Money Slaves - 2/6/2009 12:47:10 AM

Nikitaa

Posts: 416
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: energeticservant

I think the customary thing is to take money from them as long as they're willing to keep sending you money.

I've thought about setting up a female dominant name and seeing if I can get some of these dudes to send me some cash, too. (kidding.. sort of)

You would require sexy pictures. I have two other type pictures I use. If I like a man and I want to inform him I am true person I write his name on paper and take photo with me holding the paper. Then I send.
If the man is jerk then I copy a man's photo from some web page with generic photos. Then I send photo and tell annoying person I am really a man and I think he is sexy. This makes them leave me alone.

(in reply to energeticservant)

Post #: 15

RE: Money Slaves - 2/6/2009 3:16:18 AM

beeble

Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

lynnxz wrote: ... they can dangle boots or whatever in front of you and you will send them nudie pix.

That's all it takes? Woo! *pulls on his wellies and dangles his whatever* Hello, laydeez!

beeble

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Kita's owned slutpet.

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 16

RE: Money Slaves - 2/6/2009 3:20:39 AM

dreamysubmale

Posts: 204
Joined: 4/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: energeticservant

I've thought about setting up a female dominant name and seeing if I can get some of these dudes to send me some cash, too. (kidding.. sort of)

The internet is full of guys masquerading as women. And don’t let a mere voice or cam chat fool you (generic you) either. The technology is out there to fool the unaware and desperate.

_____________________________

Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses... Democritus

(in reply to energeticservant)

Post #: 17

RE: Money Slaves - 2/6/2009 7:17:44 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

I'll give you a dollar if you'll pull that corset down to your belly button.

Look at me everybody, I'm a money slave.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 18

RE: Money Slaves - 2/6/2009 7:19:19 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Now if only we could devise a way to get dominant women to send money to submissive males!

I'd be rich beyond the dreams of avarice! $$$$$$$$$$ RICH I TELL YOU!!!!! $$$$$$$$$

okay, maybe not...

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to MissNataliDemore)

Post #: 19

RE: Money Slaves - 2/6/2009 7:23:45 AM

monywildcat

Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline

IF I were looking, I wouldn't want a money slave, but rather a laundry slave. His only other duty would be to clean up after the dog if she gets in the garbage. Nothing is more disgusting than having to pick up scattered garbage, complete with dirty diapers that the dog thought were cookies.

Any takers?

_____________________________

Major Life Change Necessitates Personal Reinvention...

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 20

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