ThatDamnedPanda
Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
|
I can see only 2 things you can do to help her - first of all, be a good listener and make sure she knows you're there for her; and second, encourage her to get more information. Because she clearly does not have enough information at this point to even know what she should be scared of. If she's not already doing this, she needs to be pressing her doctors for as much information as they can give her, researching the answers, and then asking more questions. If she's too scared to do this effectively herself, she needs a friend to help guide her through the process, even to the point of going to the doctor with her and helping her ask the questions and write down the answers. Could you be that friend?
I'm going to share a little personal story with you. I'm sick myself, with a serious chronic illness. Hepatitis C, to be specific. About 10 or 11 years ago, when I first found out what it was that was making me so sick, a friend who was suffereing from a serious kidney disease shared with me some of the most important advice anyone has ever given me. He gave me two pieces of advice, neither of which I fully understood at the time, but one of which is pertinent in this case and which I'll partially share with you. He said, "You're about to find out who your friends are. I know you think you know what I'm talking about, but you don't. You won't understand it for a while. But when you do, you'll also understand why it's important enough that I'm making it a point to tell you."
Well, he was right. In more ways than one. First of all, I didn't understand what he was talking about. I had lots of friends, my world was full of friends. I couldn't imagine how what he was saying could ever apply to me. But he was right about something else, too - a few years later, I knew who my friends really were. They were the ones who were still there. I could count them on one hand. I went through years of hell before my health started to turn around and allow me to rebuild a normal life, and the only thing - I mean the only thing - that made me want to stay alive through all those years when I didn't see any hope that I'd ever recover was that handful of people who cared about me, and who understood what true friendship really was. If it weren't for them, I would have just given up, and I wouldn't be here anymore. Now that I've built my life back into something that'snot only livable again, but rich with options and opportunities, those people are still here, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for them. Because I owe them my life.
The point of all this? I don't know how sick your friend really is. Neither do you, and neither does she. Not yet. Hopefully, it won't be anything serious. But if worse comes to worst, and she does turn out to be seriously ill, please keep in mind what i just told you. If you do, and if you act accordingly, I think it will probably be one of the most important things you can ever do in your lifetime. Because it's entirely possible that you will be the only one there for her during a time she can't get through by herself. Good luck to her, and to you.
Edited to add: It occurs to me that just to be prudent, I should probably share that second piece of advice as well, in case she comes to a point where you need to pass it on to her. The other advice my friend gave me was, "Don't let the highs take you too high, or the lows take you too low." I didn't understand that one either, and again it was years before I did, but there are few things that can better equip a person to deal with a serious illness than that mentality. If she is seriously ill, the more she's able to keep an even keel and not let herself get yanked all the way to one end of the emotional spectrum or the other every time she gets a piece of good news or bad news, the better able she'll be to steer a steady course through the rocky waters that may lie ahead of her. This is a damned tough one to learn, and it takes a long time for someone to make it a part of who they are, but if she can at least keep it in mind and try to act accordingly, it will help her.
< Message edited by ThatDamnedPanda -- 1/31/2009 10:53:13 AM >
_____________________________
Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?
|
leukemia, advice needed ~ ? - 
Profile
RE: leukemia, advice needed ~ ? - 
?
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread