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Dear Abby - 1/30/2009 5:22:55 PM

GoodFeathers

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The other day I was reading the paper. I turned to the "Good Morning" section of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel where I found the "Dear Abby" advice column, which is currently sporting a debate concerning thong underwear.

Instead of transcribing the entire column here, I will only do the last submission found for that day:

DEAR ABBY: When I was a new bride 30 years ago, my husband gave me money to buy a pair of "thongs." The only thongs I had ever heard of were those flat rubber sandals. Imagine his surprise when I got home and he asked me to "model" them. When I came out wearing fire engine red flip-flops, his expression was priceless. Imagine my surprise when I realized what he'd meant by "thongs." I had seen those items displayed in the lingerie department and always assumed they were jock straps for transvestites.

-Thongs Are Wrong in Buffalo

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RE: Dear Abby - 1/30/2009 5:45:06 PM

GimpinDenial

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jock straps for transvestites

<groans>

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RE: Dear Abby - 1/30/2009 6:27:46 PM

GoodFeathers

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Actually, that's not the part I found humorous. The fire engine red flip-flops...well...I'm thinking of trying that out on a certain Dom I know who keeps asking me to wear a thong...

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RE: Dear Abby - 1/30/2009 11:44:54 PM

jen182

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hehehehe, thats good

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RE: Dear Abby - 1/31/2009 12:43:15 PM

Termyn8or

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Dear Thongs are Wrong;

Thank you for writing dear Abe for the solution to your problem. Sorry I didn't respond thirty years ago but I just got your letter today, as I am backlogged like you wouldn't believe.

Yes, thong type garments are worn by transvestites. Since he asked for a pair, one can only assume he meant one for you and one for him. For some transvestites this can be referred to as an "under the chunk, hunk bunk" , for others "under the chunk, junk bunk".

You determine if this is repulsive to you, if not play with him and engage his fantasies, it might make him a better lover, plus blackmail material is always available then. Hook him up with a bra, maybe panties and even some feminine products like a maxipad or something.

If it repulses you, get some bulk leather, cut it into strips and tie him up with it. Then instead of a maxipad, see how he likes a tampon stuck in him.

If he likes it, he gets to do the dishes from now on, if he goes running into the night screaming (once he can walk again) then oh well.

At that point all I can say is don't mention it at the divorce because for incompatibility like that, you get less money.

Abe

T

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RE: Dear Abby - 1/31/2009 3:29:16 PM

Vendaval

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Term, you need your own advice column.

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RE: Dear Abby - 1/31/2009 4:59:52 PM

Termyn8or

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Vend, I think I'm thinking what I think you're thinking. [whew]

Dear Abe :

I am thinking of starting an advice column in a prestigious, yet semi secret and priveledged online environment. It is intriguing to me as I know everything, or at least will after another six pack.

The problem is, no matter how intoxicated/enlightened I may become, I have trepidations about my ability to answer questions these people may come up with.You see, they are not quite normal. They are above normal intelligence and definitely in uncharted headspace. So I was wondering if there was a test I could take for this position or something like that.

Thanks for your time.

T

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RE: Dear Abby - 1/31/2009 5:18:55 PM

Uyraell

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Genuine World War 2 Humour in a "Dear Abby" column:
"Dear Abby, the wife is asking for a divorce in her latest letter, but I'm stuck out here in Burma, fighting in the jungle. What do I do?"
"Dear sap : if you hurry and apply for compassionate leave, on the grounds of saving your marriage, you might just get home to blighty (Britain) in time for the christening." - Abby.

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"Wan Schon ist Besser schon":"Be it Done, Best be it done well".
Attr. to F Barbarossa Rex Germania AD 1123-1190.
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