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MidnightKat5000 -> The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 7:00:52 PM)

Ok..  I have tried to get involved with local BDSM groups and such in two different cites, and it's all the same: Fucking politics.  Is this common everywhere?  I go to groups to try and try to network but mainly to learn but it never happens because everyone acts like first graders - and we're talking about the 30-60 year old range.  WTF?!  Why?  Any ideas or reasons, suggestions?



KnightofMists -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 7:05:13 PM)

quote:

  Is this common everywhere? 


yes!

quote:


 WTF?!  Why?  Any ideas or reasons, suggestions?


Don't get involved in the politics... don't allow yourself to be brought to those discussions... someone wants to talk about those politics etc etc... just walk away or bluntly say your not interested in listening to that stuff!  Do not stay listening!. 



Lynnxz -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 7:19:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MidnightKat5000

Ok..  I have tried to get involved with local BDSM groups and such in two different cites, and it's all the same: Fucking politics.  Is this common everywhere?  I go to groups to try and try to network but mainly to learn but it never happens because everyone acts like first graders - and we're talking about the 30-60 year old range.  WTF?!  Why?  Any ideas or reasons, suggestions?


Rofl!

Meh, just ignore them, try to find another group, there might be a newbie/younger group in your area.

You have several things going against you for a munch... You are young, cute... and O NO A PRO!! *shock* *scandal*. I've gotten several snide remarks about the pro thing, and I'm pretty sure my younger age didn't help either. Don't worry about them, either try to find another group, or do what I do, and only show up for the bigger fetish events.



came4U -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 7:19:56 PM)

I have heard about such things and choose not to put myself in such an embarassing situation to be seen with that type in public.  Always ask around before you go to any new event maybe. (bdsm or otherwise). 



Aneirin -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 7:27:45 PM)

Yep, it's the same everywhere, kinksters in reality are no different from any other member of society, where you get groups, clubs, societies, munches, you always get politics, it's just people and the science of.

Just seperate yourself from it, like as not you will find others who are sick to the back teeth with it all, and you and others can get on with enjoying an evening and talking kink, (in low voices so as not to offend the nillas).



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 7:45:44 PM)

Because the people who become leaders into kink tend to have some very bad qualities:

A) They don't have responsibilities or skills which would otherwise be useful in vanilla type organizations

B) They don't fit in well socially with others

C) They have a drive to "be important" and have a voice

D) They have lots of time due to the three above

That combination just really never works well.

Now honestly I think most people have a sincere intent to do well, to help, to build, to strengthen.  And some people can see past their faults or be aware of them so they don't become an issue.

The rest...well not so much.  Not to mention the subs who gossip like there's no tomorrow and break down and trash someones reputation if you either don't notice how sexy they are or notice how sexy they are TOO MUCH.

There are good groups- but not everyone is right for every group.  Take what works for you and leave the rest.



RedMagic1 -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 7:57:04 PM)

The first woman I met off CM was the co-founder of a munch not far from me.  She said she barely attended any more, because every time she is there, it's like: "Oh, I used to be his slave, and her Mistress, and...."

Incestuous relationship cycles lead to big drama in small social circles.  I've had much more success online, though I might be unusual that way.  However, one of my favorite posters, a man who has founded BDSM organizations, once wrote that the reason he liked CollarMe was it gave him contact with people who went to the local scene and left because they found it lacking.

My attitude about local scenes is that they can be a great place to learn skills, an okay place to make friends, and a crappy place to date.



Nikitaa -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 8:08:42 PM)

My friend and I have a problem with the kinky bdsm groups where we go to University. We do not have politics problem but we have a problem because people think we are young and ignorant. We are both 20. They do not talk to us and do not behave serious with us and they do not think we are serious. We both came to collarme because this is better than not having anything to learn about dominatrix and submissives.

I am going to find big submissive and strong men and I will go to the clubs and storm their gates. <---that was joke. :-)



E2Sweet -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 8:15:19 PM)

For the purposes of clarity, are we talking about National politics here (red vs. blue) or social/group/organizational politics?



Usako -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 8:17:03 PM)

I do the local thing mainly to meet people. I don't bother with any drama or politics or whatever. It works out fine for me. Then again, I'm not looking to be part of any community, just looking for nice people to hang with and such.



Madame4a -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 8:19:06 PM)

Its common in every part of life... particularly in volunteer-led organizations... ignore it and take the good part...
everyone complains about that stuff.. for my money, being adult means you ignore the childish behavior, and don't act that way

There are many people who ignore it and still enjoy the organizations.. I'm one of them


quote:

ORIGINAL: MidnightKat5000

Ok..  I have tried to get involved with local BDSM groups and such in two different cites, and it's all the same: Fucking politics.  Is this common everywhere?  I go to groups to try and try to network but mainly to learn but it never happens because everyone acts like first graders - and we're talking about the 30-60 year old range.  WTF?!  Why?  Any ideas or reasons, suggestions?



Nikitaa -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 8:24:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

For the purposes of clarity, are we talking about National politics here (red vs. blue) or social/group/organizational politics?


She said "fucking politics" LOL


(sorry if I messed up quoting because is my first time quoting)

I am making the edit to put in a comment from my dorm mom. I live in a dorm in a University. My dorm mom says "fucking politics" is Bill Clinton politics. LMAO <-----dorm moms laughter. I do not understand but she is laughing much.



Justme72701 -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 8:34:57 PM)

It does seem that there is always "something"  that pops up in some groups.

Out of respect for current and former members of groups I have associated with I won't give details. But it's just human nature for things to arise.

Right now I'm absent from them for other personal reasons  that do not have anything to do with the lifestyle.

I've met some fine people in those groups and wish them well.



NCNutCase -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 8:44:58 PM)

I've been involved with local groups on several levels... just like any social groups there are going to be cliques... there is going to be drama... there are going to be poklitics... because there are people...

I find it very easy to keep out of it though. When people tell me things I don't care about I cut them off and say "I don't care"... I go to watch demos. I've learned a lot of great things through the local scene...

Also by going with that attitude I've met some really cool people who have a similar attitude...



junecleaver -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 9:55:39 PM)

Pretty much.  But...you can still learn cool kink skills from people with little social skills .  I find that when the group has more people my age...like a TNG group...the drama reduces significantly. 



JustDarkness -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/26/2009 11:55:29 PM)

people talk about anything that is not the subject at that moment. Mean they propably can't talk about the other stuff..lol..but just want to complain.
You see that is sportclubs..work...and propably in bdsm groups also...that is one of the reasons I don't like groups of people mostly.



thesugarplum -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/27/2009 12:05:15 AM)

I feel discriminated against. People your age!? Joke, of course. I don't get along with sassy women, which is why I hope I never try a Femme Dom. I'd probably end up in the E. R. I think, a certain type of women bring drama, opposed to a certain age group.

Meaningless rubbish! Who needs to stick to a subject when you can complain???

For instance, being distracted by collarme caused me to overcook my cornbread. I blame all the interesting people on this site. Now every time I take a dry bite of the sweet, rigid corn bread, I'll think of how you all were the death of my rich, fluffy, warm, cornbread :(



AquaticSub -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/27/2009 12:39:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MidnightKat5000

Ok..  I have tried to get involved with local BDSM groups and such in two different cites, and it's all the same: Fucking politics.  Is this common everywhere?  I go to groups to try and try to network but mainly to learn but it never happens because everyone acts like first graders - and we're talking about the 30-60 year old range.  WTF?!  Why?  Any ideas or reasons, suggestions?


Groups are made of people. People are stupid and like to feel imporant, regardless of age. Every group devoted to any interest you can think of will suffer from politics sooner or later and most all the time to varying degrees.

It happened in my martial arts studios, it happened between teachers at the college and it happens at BDSM groups. The trick is find the less drama-filled group and/or the brand of drama that appeals to you personally.



JustDarkness -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/27/2009 12:42:38 AM)

thought we would get banana bread ;)



thesugarplum -> RE: The BDSM Community (1/27/2009 1:12:35 AM)

Awe :) A fresh warm loaf sounds DIVINE. Only a few countries separating us. 



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