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Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 10:36:59 AM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Hi. I'm new to this lifestyle and don't know where to start. I'm a strong believer in commitment but I'm not sure if that means I have to give up my fantasies. I have a fantasy of having a Daddy/Daughter D/s relationship. Obviously this means the Daddy would be a lot older than me. From 38-48. I can't take someone that much older than me home to mama. I'd never be invited to a Thanksgiving or Christmas party ever again. I'd be disowned. And I'm not the kind of girl who'd leave her family for a man. So a Daddy/Daughter relationship would be doomed from the beginning. So does this mean that this fantasy should stay a fantasy for me?

A Dom in which I could stay with forever would be close to my age. Max 28. But he could never fill the role of a Daddy because he's barely been on this earth long enough to teach me anything a Daddy would teach his daughter. So a realistic Dom couldn't fulfill my fantasy. So what should I do? Should I try a Daddy/Daughter relationship, knowing that it won't last? Or should I find a realistic Dom and keep my fantasy a fantasy?

I'm sure others have asked questions similar to this one but, rather than going through the archives, I thought I'd just ask my own version of it. Don't get mad.
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 11:09:03 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Hi. I'm new to this lifestyle and don't know where to start. I'm a strong believer in commitment but I'm not sure if that means I have to give up my fantasies. I have a fantasy of having a Daddy/Daughter D/s relationship. Obviously this means the Daddy would be a lot older than me. From 38-48. I can't take someone that much older than me home to mama. I'd never be invited to a Thanksgiving or Christmas party ever again. I'd be disowned. And I'm not the kind of girl who'd leave her family for a man. So a Daddy/Daughter relationship would be doomed from the beginning. So does this mean that this fantasy should stay a fantasy for me?

A Dom in which I could stay with forever would be close to my age. Max 28. But he could never fill the role of a Daddy because he's barely been on this earth long enough to teach me anything a Daddy would teach his daughter. So a realistic Dom couldn't fulfill my fantasy. So what should I do? Should I try a Daddy/Daughter relationship, knowing that it won't last? Or should I find a realistic Dom and keep my fantasy a fantasy?

I'm sure others have asked questions similar to this one but, rather than going through the archives, I thought I'd just ask my own version of it. Don't get mad.


rednicky,

you present an interesting series of considerations right off the bat and for one that is only 20.
Being 20 is fine and knowing what works for you is also, however, you might loosen the reins alittle to allow yourself more maturing time in the path.

CP

(in reply to rednicky)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 11:12:23 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Perhaps you could re-examine why you have preconceived notions about how old a Daddy Dom must be.


Cali


_____________________________

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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 11:25:56 AM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		Well califchick, it's all in the mind. I want my 'Daddy' to have the facial hair, the high paying job ( Money means nothing to me but knowing that he's successful let's me know that he's not just blowing smoke when I tells me things about work and school), the beer belly (I like big, muscular arms and round bellies), and that most older men have had children before and know how to 'raise' one. I want my Daddy to look like a Daddy.

And Celtic, yes I take much into consideration. Just because I'm 20, there's no reason for me to just jump in and pray a shark isn't near. By 'loosen the reins a little', I assume you mean for me to live in the present and not worry about the future so much. I wasn't raised to do that. I take everything into consideration, including the road ahead of me.

believe me I want to loosen up a bit. But I can't just do things without thinking them through...hence the delima.

(in reply to CalifChick)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 11:41:39 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

Well califchick, it's all in the mind. I want my 'Daddy' to have the facial hair, the high paying job ( Money means nothing to me but knowing that he's successful let's me know that he's not just blowing smoke when I tells me things about work and school), the beer belly (I like big, muscular arms and round bellies), and that most older men have had children before and know how to 'raise' one. I want my Daddy to look like a Daddy.


wow - that's some fantasy Daddy/Dom description you have here. i know plenty of guys at the bars i frequent for band reviews who would fit that criteria.

however i didn't need to resort to a fantasy physical description when i was looking.

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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 1:01:00 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		You are certainly binding yourself to a lot of external necessities, that path never leads to personal fulfillment.

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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 2:15:05 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Why does your Daddy Dom have to be 18-28 years older then you??

When I was with a Daddy Dom he was only 3 years older. It wasn't his age that mattered but how he presented himself and behaved with me and in our relationship.

There are young people that are mature and have "old souls" There are older people that are totally childish and unresponsible and still couldn't teach you anything.

Look at the man as a whole, not just the number on their ID

< Message edited by akisha -- 1/16/2009 2:17:19 PM >

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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 2:16:28 PM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		Join some of the Daddy groups on fetlife ,they are wonderful .
My daddy's have all been older than me,I do not even consider young Dominants.

(in reply to rednicky)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 2:24:06 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		They have to be so much holder because if they are only a few years older, I don't see how they could provide me with the advice I see. I'm not an idiot and I don't brat. I have common sense and I don't know what someone who is 3 years older than me can teach me. Hell, I could ask someone 5 years older than me what's the best way for the economy to right itself and they'd look at me like I was crazy. I need someone who's been there and done that so that he won't even hesitate when I throw a question at him.

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 2:28:16 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		Well by limiting yourself to a number you are going to have to make compromises either by the type of relationship you want and accept a non Daddy Dom that is your age, or finding a Older Daddy Dom that is willing to let you lie and hide him from your family.

Just my opinion but that's a pretty shitty way to treat someone you are supposed to care about.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to rednicky)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 3:21:27 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rednicky

So what should I do? Should I try a Daddy/Daughter relationship, knowing that it won't last? Or should I find a realistic Dom and keep my fantasy a fantasy?


Well, since you're not interested in anything but the exact questions you asked, it is best to find something realistic for you and forget anything else you think you might like.


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to rednicky)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 3:21:55 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		You're limiting yourself because of family.  I'd suggest first finding a strong healthy relationship with the sort of man *you* really want in your life.  Then I'd suggest, when that relationship feels solid and right and secure, then you approach the family with who is in your life and explain how you feel about him.  It's up to them to accept him or to accept not having you visit.  Seems very straightforward to me.  You can let your family's expectations run your life or you can live your own life. 


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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 5:04:19 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You have two additional options:

Get someone old who looks younger.  If he's 45 and looks 35, your family will think he's 35.

Get someone young who thinks older.

BTW, if you find someone who knows the best way for the economy to right itself, tell him to get in touch with those idiots in Washington before they screw it up worse.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 6:28:35 PM   
rednicky


Posts: 313
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		I wouldn't lie to my parents. The second option sounds best. But I'll see.

And as far as I can tell, barak has a solid plan for the economy to be fixed.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 7:18:31 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		the plane boss the plane welcome to fantasy ds the new and improve video game rofl

(in reply to rednicky)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 7:32:35 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		oye

I am not part of the daddy/daughter relationship but am in a Ds one. My late husband was 15 years older then me and we were vanilla married for 29 years. It did not matter to me at the age that I married if mommy and daddy approved, but that is me.  I have no advice but to just take your time and when the right daddy comes to you don't get hooked up about age.  Sir is 6 years younger then me. Age is just an age. I take his dominance very seriously, even though he is younger.

oceanwynds

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 7:55:33 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		So the male sub fantasy is a hot, young BDSM barbie half dressed in latex and the female sub fantasy is a fat, hairy old dude with money. My how the sexes differ.

On a more serious note, perhaps you should drop the ageism, just because a younger man may not be overflowing with years of experience doesn't make them any less amazing than an older man. I personally prefer someone near my age, more likelihood of things in common and have no issues with imaging one as a daddy. Fantasy is all well and good but sometimes reality can be just amazing if not more.

(in reply to oceanwynds)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 8:10:26 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako
So the male sub fantasy is a hot, young BDSM barbie half dressed in latex

Oh, it's ok if she has money, too.  Men aren't that different!


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Usako)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 8:17:35 PM   
LilLostKitty


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/12/2008
Status: offline 		So, I can sort of understand the issue here.  I find myself quite often attracted to older men for much the same reason yet would feel very uncomfortable trying to explain that to my parents.  That being said, I don't concentrate on ages.  The best Daddy Dom type I've ever met is a year and a half older than me.  Not quite 30 yet.  He's smart, sexy, caring, comforting... everything a girl could ask for in the Daddy Dom type.  And you know, if you fed him long enough he could get the big belly going on I suppose...

That being said, I think you should open your eyes to more possibilities.  Old doesn't equal smart.  Young doesn't mean irresponsible.  Give people a chance before you write them off on some preconceived notion...

(in reply to rednicky)
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RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom - 1/16/2009 10:17:19 PM   
faithfulfemme


Posts: 113
Joined: 5/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

So the male sub fantasy is a hot, young BDSM barbie half dressed in latex and the female sub fantasy is a fat, hairy old dude with money. My how the sexes differ.




Been that way for a long time, imho, just with different scenarios.....the guy always asks:  What does she look like?" and the girl always asks, "What does he do?"
 
Now, back to your regularly scheduled thread......

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Trust is neither wishing nor hoping; it is a deep sense of honor in another.

(in reply to Usako)
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