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ShaktiSama -> RE: Fantasy Dom or regular Dom (1/18/2009 12:32:32 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rednicky
Hi. I'm new to this lifestyle and don't know where to start. I'm a strong believer in commitment but I'm not sure if that means I have to give up my fantasies. I have a fantasy of having a Daddy/Daughter D/s relationship. Obviously this means the Daddy would be a lot older than me. From 38-48. I can't take someone that much older than me home to mama. I'd never be invited to a Thanksgiving or Christmas party ever again. I'd be disowned. And I'm not the kind of girl who'd leave her family for a man. So a Daddy/Daughter relationship would be doomed from the beginning. So does this mean that this fantasy should stay a fantasy for me?
You've already answered your own question, it seems. You can't have the D/S relationship you really want right now because you are already in a D/S relationship with your family. They control your life and they are more important to your happiness and wellbeing than your sexuality is, at least at present. Essentially, right now you cannot have a relationship in which you are a grown woman who PLAYS that she is a little girl, because at core you still ARE a little girl, unable to disobey or disappoint her real Mommy and Daddy. You are not ready to live your own life and put your own happiness and needs first.
As for what is "impossible" and what isn't--my own submissive is 20, and I am 38. I met his parents last summer, because I had traveled to his home town to pack up his belongings and help him move over a thousand miles to be with me. It was a very pleasant first meeting with his parents and we had a nice meal and a nice chat together. The fact that I am closer to his mother's age than to his, the fact that I have children who are only a few years younger than he is, were not topics of conversation. Why? Because they were already aware that their son was D/S oriented, and they had probably been worried for years that his sexuality was going to lead him to some bad end. They were very relieved that he had found someone who was decent and sane to be his domme, and when his mother called me at Christmas this year, she thanked me because it made her "feel safe" to know that her son was safe and happy with me.
You know your own family better than any stranger does, so if you believe that they would ostracize and disown you because you dated or married someone "too old" or because you are kinky, you are likely to be right. Eventually your submissive desires may change so that you can enjoy a D/S relationship with someone younger, or you may get lucky and find a younger man who can carry off the loving authority that it takes to be a good Daddy Dom before he is 40. Or who knows, eventually you may just figure out that you need to live your own life, regardless of how your family or strangers judge you--I can only hope that you won't have wasted too many years by the time you come to this conclusion.
In the meantime, best of luck to you.
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