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RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 10:53:47 AM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
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i dont use it as a crutch. i find that very hurtful. like i say im an honest guy i dont tell lies so obviously if they ask have i had or have ongoing health issues , i will say i do , thats when the discrimination starts both in the work place, when im applying for jobs and socially
kevin

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 21

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 10:55:53 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
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Be careful of generalizations. I for One am sure I appear cut-off, lonely and unfulfilled--IF this was My sole aspect to life, yeah to some I am sure it may appear as such, yet be careful who you point at..

My life is far from lonely or unfilled--I am mutlifaceted, this being only one aspect, however, this is an aspect I am very particular about---whoever, IF ever I end up with someone, they have to ADD value--they have to bring some aspect of fulfillment that I cannot otherwise fill.

Most male subs that I have met/chatted with have more baggage then Coco Chanel, seek to produce enough sperm for a WW sperm bank, think if they tell Her what she wants to hear they will get to Dominate from the bottom, or couldn't serve their way out of a paperbag with the instructions tatooed on their ass. And we see all the time posts about not so swift Dominas--

NOW, there are good subs, of that there is no doubt, however, there are extenuating circumstances just like there are for good Dominas.

But for Me, this is not the definition of My entire life, My ability to make a difference or be a good parent. It is one cherry on the icing, if it falls off or doesnt make it, one does not consider the cake no good.

Pfffttt, silly notions.

< Message edited by CatdeMedici -- 1/13/2009 11:05:29 AM >

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 22

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 10:56:32 AM

myotherself

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Amen to that, ChamberQueen!

I made myself a promise many years ago, when my engagement fell apart, that I'd rather be on my own than in a relationship where I'm with someone just so that I'm not alone.

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Post #: 23

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 10:57:21 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Have you ever felt sorry for the many servants and Mistresses who get no one, who end up lonely cut off and unfulfilled
kevin

No, because I've never allowed myself to feel sorry for........well, myself. I tend to be a "glass half full" kind of person. I also tend to surround myself with the same sort.

Orrrr, if they are negative and whiney, they just end up running away from me really fast because I do not deal well with negative and whiney...........

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Post #: 24

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 11:04:07 AM

OmegaG

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and then there are some people that feel so sorry for themselves that there isn't any room for any one else to feel sorry for them if they wanted to.

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Post #: 25

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 11:11:09 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

and then there are some people that feel so sorry for themselves that there isn't any room for any one else to feel sorry for them if they wanted to.

I feel sorry for myself now and then.....I can make quite a dish of it at times. Then I have the onerous task of munching my way through the next course.....of * Christ, I'm a selfish, ungrateful cow*........lol

agirl

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 26

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 11:45:11 AM

pixidustpet

Posts: 857
Joined: 6/4/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

and then there are some people that feel so sorry for themselves that there isn't any room for any one else to feel sorry for them if they wanted to.

I feel sorry for myself now and then.....I can make quite a dish of it at times. Then I have the onerous task of munching my way through the next course.....of * Christ, I'm a selfish, ungrateful cow*........lol

agirl

i had to laugh at this....

but sometimes sitting down and thoroughly WALLOWING in that pity party can get you out of that state of mind. just really indulge yourself in several rounds of "i'm so miserable, nobody loves me, nobody wants me, think i'll go sit in the garden and eat worms" then realize that NO one cares about this but you.

oh and as for being lonely? you can be JUST as lonely in a relationship that isnt a good fit for you. honestly.

kitten

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 27

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 12:07:41 PM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i neither have a job nor friends and it has not been for the want of trying. i dont know maybe its because they hear i have depression and they run a mile. still for being honest, would they rather i sprung it on them instead, no im not like that, life can be very hard for people not just me, i know plenty of guys like me who feel rejected not just in love but in life
kevin

I get so confused by your life Kevin one moment you have a Mistress the next you dont have anyone. I suggest you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Now trust me I know that this is hard to do but honestly look at your question what good is people feeling sorry for you going to do?

You dont have to tell everyone that you have depression and you really need to stop blaming everything on it its actually rather insulting.

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Post #: 28

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 12:39:33 PM

ALAstella

Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Have you ever felt sorry for the many servants and Mistresses who get no one, who end up lonely cut off and unfulfilled
kevin

No I don't. Pity or feeling sorry for someone is such a wasted emotion, as I believe if you cannot do something to help someone then the next best thing you can do is to empathize with them.

You see the thing is I refuse to see that there's something wrong or defective with someone who is on their own, for not being in a relationship doesn't constitute any evidence to my mind that someone is unable to be in a relationship. You can speculate as much as you want, but the main reason why someone is alone is that they have not - for whatever reason - met the right person at the right time in the right place to start a relationship.

There's a reason to my mind why insurance companies never have policies for relationships as relationships are at best a calculated risk and it would appear that the odds are stacked against you and the best way of finding yourself in a relationship is working to shorten those odds however which way you can.

I sometimes feel that asking why isn't the most productive thing you can do.. because if there were a set of principles one could follow none of us would ever need to be single ever again. But you know people are just as unpredictable at times as life and while you may intend to be with someone for the rest of your life and hope that you will the reality may turn out to be very different.

However it can be true that some people do manage to keep themselves out of relationships just as successfully as others manage to stay in relationships. For example those who are convinced they have not met their match, or who are waiting for 'the one', or those who feel that time plays a big part in a relationship. You can read any gossip column to work out that yes, beautiful and successful people also end up lonely and also have difficulties when it comes to relationships. Then you get the people who just don't believe in themselves enough to try. You know the ones, they look in the mirror and think 'who the hell would want to be with me?' As if anyone would know, as if they would know themselves, the thing is you don't know and don't find out until you try.

But then again what do I know? The relationships I've had have been few, and most of what I have experienced have been misunderstandings, failures, screw ups, and total bloopers. My intentions were always good though. I'm probably in my current relationship because I screwed up one of my screw ups. But you know I live every day as if I'm about to die, because to me the saddest thing in life is to be lying on your deathbed saying 'I should have done this, I never did that. Why didn't I ever?..'

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 29

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 1:38:58 PM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

No, I don't pity anyone. There are times when I'm sure that I'm the most cold hearted individual that ever walked because of that too. If they are a friend and they are truly trying to get on their feet, they are honestly working at it... we'll help as much as we can and keep on helping until they are on their feet. Unless the "getting on their feet" turns into "dragging their feet". I can pretty much say "been there, done that" to damn near any situation people can get into... I'm a strong believer in the school of hard knocks... got my certificate and everything!!! lol I just don't ever doubt the human capacity to learn and survive, but only once that human realizes that they can learn and survive. Not a lot of patience for the ones that would rather wallow in self pity.

Jewel

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Post #: 30

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 1:46:43 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i neither have a job nor friends and it has not been for the want of trying. i dont know maybe its because they hear i have depression and they run a mile. still for being honest, would they rather i sprung it on them instead, no im not like that, life can be very hard for people not just me, i know plenty of guys like me who feel rejected not just in love but in life
kevin

I wasn't replying specifically to you, kevin, and your situation whatever that may be.

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 31

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 1:49:13 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i dont use it as a crutch. i find that very hurtful. like i say im an honest guy i dont tell lies so obviously if they ask have i had or have ongoing health issues , i will say i do , thats when the discrimination starts both in the work place, when im applying for jobs and socially
kevin

Just so you know, I doubt that it is legal for a potential employer to ask if you have ongoing health issues... at least in academia is it illegal to do so. With work be wary of what you tell potential employers unless it is directly related to your work. Frankly your private life isn't their business as long as you keep it from work too on your end of things.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 32

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 2:11:23 PM

CallaFirestormBW

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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I guess that in this thing, I am pretty much a pragmatic optimist. I believe that there are -so- many ways of meeting people, and so many interesting, worthwhile people out there to get to know, that if I am lonely or unfulfilled, then it's because I'm missing out on opportunities or not doing what I need to to find companions that I can enjoy.

I tend, in general, not to feel sorry for people over things that are 'fixable'. Sometimes, people have issues that keep them from finding fulfillment in their lives, and when that happens, if they come to me and want to talk about it, I'll often provide insight into some things that I think may help them over the hump... but if they choose not to do those things and would rather stay unfulfilled than do the work... well, that is their -choice-... they're not victims... they're making choices or repeating choices that are putting them in a place they say they don't want to be.

I suspect that there will be folks who will see my attitude as unsympathetic, but honestly, I believe we can all have the joy and fulfillment we want in our lives. We can be fulfilled when we are alone, if we value ourselves and create the kind of life we want... and we can have people around us to enjoy and celebrate with, if we're willing to become the kind of person that people want to be around. You make the life you want.

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Post #: 33

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 2:15:15 PM

lobodomslavery

Posts: 2477
Joined: 1/17/2008
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i had a Mistress but now ive discovered She loves my money more than me. im having doubts about staying but i dont want to hurt her
kevin

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 34

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 2:23:35 PM

CallaFirestormBW

Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

i dont use it as a crutch. i find that very hurtful. like i say im an honest guy i dont tell lies so obviously if they ask have i had or have ongoing health issues , i will say i do , thats when the discrimination starts both in the work place, when im applying for jobs and socially
kevin

First, it is illegal for your employer to ask if you have any ongoing health issues before you're hired. If you have health issues while you're employed, FMLA is your friend (Family Medical Leave Act). If your problem is depression, and you're -getting- treatment and the treatment isn't working, then it's time to explore different treatments. Talk to your doctor and therapist, because depression doesn't have to cripple your life -- there are far too many effective treatments out there. That being said, no drug or therapy is going to work without you putting out some effort to improve your own life. If you wallow in your misery, your vision will constantly be clouded by the mud of your own angst.

One thing that -doesn't- work to improve depression is talking all the time about how you're depressed and it's ruining your life. As a former depression addict and long-time counselor, I've seen how that road leads the depressed individual deeper and deeper into their own depression and reinforces the idea that they are crippled by their sorrow. Get out and do something... make your life mean something... and talk to your doctors about working with you to find treatments that will work.

One BIG thing that provides both social interaction and improved self-perception is volunteering. It doesn't cost any money, there are (literally) a million causes you can give your time and energy to, there is the possibility to meet other people who share your interests and concerns, and it gets you out into the world where people can see you at your shining best. It also gives you something to do, and gives you a sense of value, because the causes you serve genuinely need your participation and help, and for those of us who have been buried in the well of depression, knowing that our lives have value can make all the difference in the world. If you don't like people, volunteer with plants or animals. If you have a skill, someone somewhere can probably use it to help someone else who needs that help. If you can't do anything but sit and smile, there are people who need someone to just listen, and to give them a smile and the time of day.

Don't just sit there... get out and make yourself a life, and then enjoy it.

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to lobodomslavery)

Post #: 35

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 2:25:09 PM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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I generally think that pitying a person is a form of disrespect.
Davan

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Post #: 36

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 2:25:31 PM

GreeneGoddess

Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
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Is the OP positive that he lives in Ireland, and not a trailer park in Georgia?

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)

Post #: 37

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 2:30:11 PM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

actually, if he lives in Ireland, I do feel sorry for him, the health care sucks there and he probably isn't getting correct treatment.

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Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to GreeneGoddess)

Post #: 38

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 2:33:33 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
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I don't feel sorry, quite the opposite. I'm rather proud of staying single and accomplishing what I've accomplished and doing what I've done as a single person that most people do with a partner. If someday a partner comes along, well, that would be nice, too.

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Post #: 39

RE: Have you ever felt sorry for a servant - 1/13/2009 3:13:11 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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No. I never feel sorry for people. Instead I believe in teaching people to help themselves out of their situations.

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 40

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