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RE: Expressing Love Through Pain - 1/9/2009 3:33:04 PM

whiteslavebitch

Posts: 479
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

As a society, we are taught how to express love.

We say "I Love You".

We hug and kiss and do...other intimate things....to express our love.

The other night, while being flogged for the first time, I realized that what was happening to me was also an expression of love - the application of pain to say "I Love You".

It was profound, and really messed with my (up to that point very vanilla) concept of how we express love. I needed what she did to me, she needed to do it. My suffering for Her is an expression of my love for Her. Her application of pain to me is an expression of Her love for me.

Now, I understand that BDSM can be practiced without the partners loving each other...but what we do is a very intimate thing and we all read routinely expressions that there should at least be baseline trust and maybe a bit of affection and friendship.

But having it as part of a love relationship makes it...just amazing. For me, it is right up there in emotional connection and intimacy with sex...maybe more. Yea...I am a hopeless romantic.

So...the application of pain to express love. What is your opinion? Do you feel that way? Do you like it, does it work for you, or muddy the waters?

In a previous post this is what I had to say:

"The op speaks to me. MasterK and I had a conversation about this once while we were playing. He was beating my ass quite nicely, and asked me what it felt like.
My answer was that it felt like an act of love, which was the truth for me."

I have played in uncommitted relationships before, and it was good, but I didn't feel that way about it. It feels much more intimate and pleasurable (to me) now that I'm playing as part of a love relationship.

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RE: Expressing Love Through Pain - 1/9/2009 7:06:12 PM

OneMoreWaste

Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
But having it as part of a love relationship makes it...just amazing. For me, it is right up there in emotional connection and intimacy with sex...maybe more. Yea...I am a hopeless romantic.

So...the application of pain to express love. What is your opinion? Do you feel that way? Do you like it, does it work for you, or muddy the waters?

It certainly works that way sometimes.

Essentially, causing pain is just another form of physical interaction, that carries with it the same potential to express the emotions behind it, just like a kiss can mean an infinite number of things depending on the circumstances and interaction between the people involved.

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RE: Expressing Love Through Pain - 1/9/2009 7:19:42 PM

LadyPact

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I'm not sure I would use such a strong word as love in all instances, but it absolutely can be.

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RE: Expressing Love Through Pain - 1/10/2009 9:29:45 AM

OttersSwim

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Thank you for all your responses.

For me, as a relative newcomer to the BDSM lifestyle, I find that many of my perceptions and definitions of things like "intimacy" and "love" and "pain" are changing. I count myself fortunate to be in a love relationship where my first experiences have been so positive and profound.

I honestly would wish that for everyone if it suited them.

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RE: Expressing Love Through Pain - 1/10/2009 10:27:55 AM

Daenok

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Joined: 12/18/2008
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I know when my Mistress causes pain, she does it for two reasons. One, the reactions I make are a big turn on for her: the moaning, squirming, writhing, the red marks, etc... The other reason she does it is because she knows that I want it and need it to be happy. So every time she causes pain, she is doing it as much to me as for me, even if she is forcing it at the time. And I know that she does it because of her love for me. So yes, I feel very loved with every touch from her, pain or pleasure. They are both meant to fulfill my desires.

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Post #: 25