RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (Full Version)

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GoddessTeaze -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 6:06:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

My guess would be everyone lies at some point.

BadOne

No not you BadOne,
I'm so disapointed now!!!!
[:(]
smirks.

Internet is too easy, and there is nothing to
do about liars and fakers, just live & learn.
That's all.

Enjoy

GoddezzT`




MsFlutter -> RE: Experiences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 7:05:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLamia

I am having a great deal of trouble with male subs being dishonest. They lie about their age, where they live, how many profiles they have here/other places and if their married or unattached, among other things...


Yes, we each must develop our own radar and expect to be/be prepared to be approached by less-than-honorable people.
 
If those people choose to be deceptive, that reflects on them and its unlikely that they would care about how they impact their own destiny.
 
MY beef with it is the person that *I* have to choose to become when that person shows up markedly different in circumstance than the information originally published.
 
There are two options:
(#1) Go along with it because you dont want to hurt someone's feelings (be guilted into it) OR;
(#2) say "hold up - what I am now being presented with does NOT match. I find this unacceptable - this is not what I signed up for."

 
With #1, Resentment is part of the reaction, along with being annoyed at having wasted time/gas/money
 
With #2, By default, by calling foul for whatever reason, I become the superficial, inconsistent 'bad guy'. That REALLY makes me nuts.
 
I cant remember who said it but there was a discussion a month or so ago that drew a Domme's response of 'we cant be nice to them because they wont LET us be nice!'
 
  <edited to make sense LOL>




steviemichael -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 7:09:07 AM)



Theres a game for that called second life :)
[/quote]
yes been there done that and game over *grins*




MistressLamia -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 7:22:11 AM)

MsFlutter and I are of the same mind. I will freely point out a persons lies to them. I see no reason to be polite to someone who not only has no respect for themselves but no respect for anyone else. I am just amazed at how many people honestly think they can get away with very obvious things. If you say you are 6 ft tall and weight 180 and show up almost eyeball to eyeball with me (I'm a wee bit more than 5 ft) and waddle whan you walk that is a lie you can not get away with. Most reciently someone told me they live 3 miles away from me. I met them publicly several times and we spoke often. When the time came to expand his training we decided it would be at his home. When he told me where he lived it was 50 miles away! If you look at my profile it clearly says local to me and always has.  Did he think I would just let it slide? Don't these people feel like a fool?




CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 7:28:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLamia

I am having a great deal of trouble with male subs being dishonest. They lie about their age, where they live, how many profiles they have here/other places and if their married or unattached, among other things. I always find out very quickly but it seems to me a lot of the men I have been talking to are dishonest.  It seems impossiable to find a sincere person much less someone for a lasting relationship.


I feel your pain, and, frankly, I just have to write it off to the medium. One thing that has kept me from becoming completely disheartened is that I really just completely dismiss the individuals who prove to be dishonest -- instead, I keep my focus on my own progress down the path of wiitwd, ally myself with living individuals through the local community who can keep this strange road 'real', and use this media not as my -primary- way of meeting and encountering people, but as a supplement.

I've met some really wonderful people IRL, who also happen to be on CM. I don't expect miracles -- To me, this is much more like the old Savage Garden "Santa Monica" lyrics... "But on the telephone line I am anyone, I am anything I want to be... I can be a super model... or Norman Mailer... and you wouldn't know the difference... or would you?" It is a world where fantasy and reality merge... and it is up to each of us to take the time and energy to sort out which is which.




LaTigresse -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 7:45:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLamia

I am having a great deal of trouble with male subs being dishonest. They lie about their age, where they live, how many profiles they have here/other places and if their married or unattached, among other things. I always find out very quickly but it seems to me a lot of the men I have been talking to are dishonest.  It seems impossiable to find a sincere person much less someone for a lasting relationship.


BDSM, D/s, M/s, has nothing at all to do with it. Most human beings are dishonest, at some level. I expect it and am pleasantly surprised when I find one that isn't.




GoodFeathers -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 7:59:48 AM)

A conversation with my ex:

Him:  "I love you."

Me:  "uh...kay...thank you...?"

Him:  "I love you."

Me:  "That's nice."

Him:  "Don't you believe me?"

Me:  "No, but I believe you think you believe that."

THREE WEEKS LATER

Him:  "I've been chatting with my ex."

Me:  "So?"

Him:  "I missed talking to her...[insert lots of wonderful things about his ex]"

Me:  "Grand."

Him:  "I love you."

Me:  "That's nice."

Him:  "I do."

Me:  "Prove it."

THE POINT:

He lied, either to me, to himself, or both.  Long story short, there is a reason he's my EX. 




PanthersMom -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 9:24:47 AM)

giggles, oh the lies i have been told!  like the one who was supposedly going into a hospice because she was dying and was only given a month to live.  funny how she's still around and forgets she's contacted me before.  this is fantasy land for most folks.  you just have to be careful about things and don't believe everything you hear.
PM




BondageBarbieX -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 10:59:16 AM)

Its not hard to weed out the fakes on here...my number one rule before any communication at all begins is that they must send me at least 5 photos that are different from the profile photos and to see them on cam.




CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/9/2009 12:17:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX

Its not hard to weed out the fakes on here...my number one rule before any communication at all begins is that they must send me at least 5 photos that are different from the profile photos and to see them on cam.


Well, I wouldn't ask someone for something that I wasn't willing to do myself. I have a couple pictures up here, but honestly, I just don't do a lot of picture-taking, so asking me for 5 different pictures than the one I have posted... well, it probably just isn't going to happen. I am probably also not the only dominant-aligned individual on CM who doesn't chat or cam. OTOH, if you want to meet for coffee at one of the MANY public establishments where I live, or meet for Sunday brunch, -that- I can manage. It doesn't get more real than Eggs Benedict and fresh coffee on a 70 degree Sunday morning in January.




steviemichael -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/10/2009 12:52:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ALAstella

It's easier to lie to others than stop deceiving yourself. (French proverb)

stella


"It's a very creative process, lying."




steviemichael -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/10/2009 12:59:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX

Its not hard to weed out the fakes on here...my number one rule before any communication at all begins is that they must send me at least 5 photos that are different from the profile photos and to see them on cam.

humm i could send you 300 photo from a photo allbum put live cam plus  software and still you would not know its me




IronBear -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/10/2009 1:20:15 AM)

Telling me porkies at any time during the pre collaring discussions and after collaring is a deal breaker which is shown on my profile, which of course is a jolly good reason to read profiles completely first..

Warning!

There are two primary deal breakers:
1: Liars. If you feed me a lot of BS about yourself and I detect it, you will be sent packing.

2: If you for any reason attempt to create a breach between Lady Neets (my wife) and I, or in any way attempt to supplant her in my affections or her position of the Lady of The House, your feet will not touch the ground on your way out of the gate.




slavemick63 -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/10/2009 1:24:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLamia

I am having a great deal of trouble with male subs being dishonest. They lie about their age, where they live, how many profiles they have here/other places and if their married or unattached, among other things. I always find out very quickly but it seems to me a lot of the men I have been talking to are dishonest.  It seems impossiable to find a sincere person much less someone for a lasting relationship.
I have to agree,I have the same trouble with Dommes




LookieNoNookie -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/10/2009 1:33:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavemick63

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLamia

I am having a great deal of trouble with male subs being dishonest. They lie about their age, where they live, how many profiles they have here/other places and if their married or unattached, among other things. I always find out very quickly but it seems to me a lot of the men I have been talking to are dishonest.  It seems impossiable to find a sincere person much less someone for a lasting relationship.
I have to agree,I have the same trouble with Dommes


Oh now you've gone and done it.




SimplyIsaac -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/10/2009 8:02:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLamia

I am having a great deal of trouble with male subs being dishonest.


Yeah, they are a dime a dozen. Then again, there's a lot of "mistresses" out there that are full of #%@$ too.

You just have to be patient and clear about what you want, and not settle...ever.




LadyPact -> RE: Expierences with dishonesty in the community (1/10/2009 1:35:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Telling me porkies at any time during the pre collaring discussions and after collaring is a deal breaker which is shown on my profile, which of course is a jolly good reason to read profiles completely first..

Warning!

There are two primary deal breakers:
1: Liars. If you feed me a lot of BS about yourself and I detect it, you will be sent packing.

2: If you for any reason attempt to create a breach between Lady Neets (my wife) and I, or in any way attempt to supplant her in my affections or her position of the Lady of The House, your feet will not touch the ground on your way out of the gate.



I knew there was a particular reason that I liked you.  These sound like two of the similar things that MisterP and I have as part of our house rules.





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