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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 5:03:51 AM   
BondageBarbieX


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I do not date casually... so all my relationships have been long term.I met my MasterDaddy at 15 and was with him till he passed away in 2005.I have been with my new Daddy since 2007.I was celibate in between  Daddy's.To me long term is anything over 2 years together.

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 5:16:29 AM   
MsStarlett


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I never want my boys to leave.  I have 'separation issues'.  We may stop being play partners, but I've kept most of them as friends.  Probably will be friends forever.  Even though we drop out of touch, the fact that most of my boys were convention people, I never know when I'm going to run into one of them again.  When we do, it's always a joyous reunion. 

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 5:21:28 AM   
colouredin


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Long term for me is a few months. I was taught as a kid I need to want a long term relationship leading to marriage and yadda yadda yadda. Rubbish. Each person I have been with has taught me something, so really im just taking my education to a further level. I dont think longevity = significance.

I find if I start having expectations, wanting it to last it goes tits up, now I am just happy with my lot, whatever I get is fine. i dont need to be in a relationship to be a worth while human being

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 6:04:38 AM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

What does longterm relationship mean to you ? And so we all understand, if you are seeking a longterm realtionship , how long was your last realtionship that you though fit a longterm time frame? 

thank you for your involvement



I'm not entirely certain, actually.

In hindsight, the relationships that I've CONSIDERED were long term were ones in which I had no expectation of them ending and had held them for more than a few years. Those range from 5 yrs to 15yrs.

I'm not at all sure at what POINT my perception alters from 'being in a relationship', to considering it a 'longterm' one.

I've never actively sought a longterm relationship at any time in my life. They've always been something that's just developed.

Edited to add....... They were/are important by dint of the fact I'm in them. The more committed I am, the more the importance but any relationship I've been in has had a level of importance.

agirl



< Message edited by agirl -- 1/6/2009 6:17:33 AM >

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 8:11:40 AM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Edited to add....... They were/are important by dint of the fact I'm in them. The more committed I am, the more the importance but any relationship I've been in has had a level of importance.

agirl




I like what you said here.  While the stability of longevity with someone is definitely a nice thing, all the relationships I've been in have been important, as I have learned from them.  The "relationship" (uncommitted and enjoyable) I'm in now is about 5 months along now, probably won't turn into "long term", but has shown me some wonderful and revealing things about the way I enjoy being treated.  I don't consider it long term, nor do I consider it casual.  It is, however, important and quite nice, and I am growing from it.

As you said, these relationships are important to me because I am in them.


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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 8:16:12 AM   
T1981


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I've been with the same guy for 10 years now, so that's the long term relationship in my life. As far as playmates, the ideal situation is someone whom is an actual friend, that we can get together with comfortably even if there is no intention of play. These things take time, though, and sorting through. We've no interest in opening up a poly relationship between ourselves, though.

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 9:02:41 AM   
Twicehappy2x


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Longterm equals until death do us part, period.
 
My last was for 18+ years, and he rides the winds now.
 
My current is 3 years and neither of them is allowed to die, it is a hard limit for me since the last one.

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 9:33:44 AM   
cantilena


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quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

What does longterm relationship mean to you ? And so we all understand, if you are seeking a longterm realtionship , how long was your last realtionship that you though fit a longterm time frame? 

thank you for your involvement



Longevity is at the pinnacle of importance to me.  I think that the more you have invested in a relationship, the closer you are to another person, and after you've survived the kind of crap together that only time can throw at you, the more important it gets to maintain the relationship and see that it grows.  Compromise and a willingness to give becomes really beautiful as long as both people are there with bells on and ready to do the work involved.  Maybe it's not sexy, but there's a lot of joy to be had with long-term.

All that said, I totally agree with what many others have said in this thread - longevity in itself doesn't signify value or importance in life to me.  I absolutely believe that even the shortest relationships can have an impact on us that last a lifetime.  I know I have a few of those in my past, and even today they resonate.

Great topic.

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 10:24:01 AM   
FRSguy


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I define a long term relationship is any relationship that last longer than 2 years where the goal in mind was to create a relationship that would last a lifetime and has failed at achieving that.  I have been in 2-5 year relationships and 1- 12-year relationship.  My average relationship lasts about a year (when looking so to speak).  I have had about three one nightstands in my life and maybe a dozen that were under six months. My original plan from the time I was 12 was to meet a woman and spend the rest of my life with her, which I must say I am a total failure at.

I prefer long-term relationships because for the most part I don’t like that getting to know you part of it…. In fact I hate getting to know a woman. I also think that the sex is way better…. Its not as exciting sometimes as dipping into something new but for me sex is somewhat spiritual….as in I want her to show as much spirit as possible and the longer I have to get to know how they tick the better off I can get that done.

What really gets me is that for me the way I view it is that there is a definite void in my life that needs to be filled. It’s a roll within my life that another person has to fulfill.  It’s a real easy job with lots of benefits…. So why the fuck does it have to be made so damn complicated?  I am extremely upfront in telling woman exactly what is allowed and what I expect in a relationship and I have been like that even in my vanilla life.  So here I am sitting at a dinner table explaining my likes / dislikes and expectations and I get nod nod nod as this is all explained… woman at the table agrees and jumps into my life and five years later I’m what were you thinking?  Did you not pay attention? Was there something you were confused about?  Did you just forget your position and duties?
Don’t get me wrong … I know it all sounds cold but as long as a woman keeps within the parameters her life is basically handed to her on a silver platter and they always end up fucking it up and you get this phone call a year later saying oh I’m sorry I was stupid… I want that life back…. Eeek.  They always want no matter what… even if they just hang out all day watching t.v. …. They always want something different.  

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 11:18:25 AM   
TreasureKY


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This pretty much sums it up for me...

quote:

ORIGINAL: manxcat

For me, longterm relationship means with a view to forever.  Granted there are no guarantees that any two people will be together for the rest of their lives, but if both go into a relationship with that as the end goal, it should be easier to achieve it. 


Yes, long term is important to me, and twenty-two years was my last relationship.

FRSGuy... I'm not sure how to say this without sounding judgmental, but... there is so much that could be said about what you've written.  Have you ever thought of getting a goldfish or maybe a cat? 



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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 11:25:40 AM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

 
Longterm equals until death do us part, period.
 
My last was for 18+ years, and he rides the winds now.
 
My current is 3 years and neither of them is allowed to die, it is a hard limit for me since the last one.


2x and I share the same point of view. I would rather be alone than "date"....cringing at the very word.


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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 11:27:44 AM   
BondageBarbieX


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Long term is very important to me as I do not date casually or have casual sex.If I date you ,you are in it for the long haul..that is why I am so picky about who I choose for my Dominant.

< Message edited by BondageBarbieX -- 1/6/2009 11:28:02 AM >

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 11:30:38 AM   
Midgie


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I think that long term is important to me. I like permanence and also like knowing the person/s I'm with. It's much more comfortable once the awkward parts are over.

I like what a lot of people have said here. I think that there is a lot of truth in relationships teaching and lending part of themselves to your life.

I'm with my longest term relationship. 7 years.


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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 1:06:34 PM   
LaTigresse


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I forgot to answer the second part of the question..........the generic dude that I share the farm with has been patiently tollerant of me since 1990. Say's he is in it for the long haul. Poor bugger.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 2:33:48 PM   
oceanwynds


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prior to late hubby my long term was around 6-8 months, except for ex hubby, he was 2 years, with part of that being seperated and waiting for the divorce.. Late hubby was 29 years. I would like to see Sir and me continue, though to be honest it frightens me to be that involved for a long time, and go through what I did when hubby died.

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 3:44:28 PM   
Maxwell67


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I must admit I do not think much about what length of time constitutes a LT relationship.  All relationships are too short, just as all lives are too short.  With such a tiny bit of time to work with in which to build something meaningful, I am just too busy to worry about that.  If it lasts, then great, but I do not enter into any relationship of an intimate nature with the intention of keeping it short or avoiding commitment.  Fear of commitment is not a problem I have.

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 4:16:13 PM   
ShiftedJewel


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

 
Longterm equals until death do us part, period.
 
My last was for 18+ years, and he rides the winds now.
 
My current is 3 years and neither of them is allowed to die, it is a hard limit for me since the last one.


You forgot to mention that you aren't allowed to either missy!!! lmao
 
It used to be that long term for me was how ever long it took to get the hell outta there. But I've found what's been looking for me all these years and a lifetime isn't long enough. We've been together for 6 years (Scooter and I) and 3 years (the three of us) and yet we've been together forever.
 
Jewel

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/6/2009 7:00:19 PM   
kiwisub12


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quote:

..

quote:

ORIGINAL: manxcat

FRSGuy... I'm not sure how to say this without sounding judgmental, but... there is so much that could be said about what you've written.  Have you ever thought of getting a goldfish or maybe a cat? 





I really don't think a cat would do for him - they have opinions of their own .

But i do understand what he is saying, it is unfortunate the people continue to evolve, even when they are in a relationship. And sometimes the relationship is no longer where they want to be.

I was married for 13 years, then alone for 10 years - which i count as a relationship - with myself, and have been with my Sir for 3, and continuing.
For me a long term relationship is anything over a year. I think a year is a good settling in period.

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RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/7/2009 10:15:45 PM   
breezofflowerz


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Thank you for giving me my words...
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twicehappy2x

 
Longterm equals until death do us part, period.
 
My last was for 18+ years, and he rides the winds now.
 
My current is 3 years and neither of them is allowed to die, it is a hard limit for me since the last one.

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Long term Relationships -are they importain to you? - 1/8/2009 8:04:39 AM   
kristileigh


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Long term relationship...............i plan on spending the rest of my life with Master. i was not even thinking long term when i meet Master, but it happens and W/we are very happy.
my last log term relationship was 14 years ago and lasted for 6 years with my kids' dad. and that was vanilla.(oh what was i thinking .......vanilla....lol)

slave kristi


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