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Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 3:57:41 AM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline 		Ok, now this may sound a little wacky, but let's face it to alot of folk wiitwd does anyway lol!  Last night when Wwe played, Master forbade me to make any sound.  Now i am the kind of person who likes to vocalise pain, to channel it somehow or make it more manageable.  Or so i thought...

As i waited for Him to begin, i gave myself a good talking to.  i told myself i must try my best to obey, to bend my will which naturally told me to yell; to force myself to be silent.  i thought this would be impossible and that i would be punished for every sound that would inevitably excape my lips.  However i was wrong.  The way i was blindfolded, thickly with His scarf, meant that i could rest my head face down on the table, so that my lips touched the surface.  It was not a gag, but psychologically it did the same job without being something to bite on.

To cut a long story short, i was able to obey and i hardly made a sound through Him using a switch, the thin cane, a paddle and the thicker cane.  I breathed into the table.  But here's the thing.  Because i was not making a sound i became more aware of the sensations i was receiving.  Pain was transformed into something else and i swear it felt like i was actually hearing it, because i could not hear my voice.  i know that sounds weird, but it was even more beautiful than i could imagine.  The pain was immense; i know that if i could have made a sound i would not have coped.  i cannot explain it any other way than this; i was hearing my pain...

Does that sound odd to anyone else?  Have i lost the plot?  Am i barking mad?

a confused, but still grinning gabrielle x

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 4:02:20 AM   
JustDarkness


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Status: offline 		Sounds logic....screaming is a way to handle pain.
Now you didn't scream..and it felt more immens

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 4:07:30 AM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline 		Immense yes, but different too.  Not the usual, "oh my god it hurts, don't know if i can take it, but i want more" kind of pain, but the "oh wow that feels incredible, let it wash all over me, please don't stop kind"....  Hard for me to explain lol!

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"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 4:14:07 AM   
JustDarkness


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Status: offline 		lol
Sometimes it doesn't matter "how it functions" aslong it does function and gives pleasure.
Ofcourse..a new experience..is always more exciting..then when you have done it several times. That could be a reason for the special feeling too.

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 4:22:48 AM   
T1981


Posts: 557
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Status: offline 		ooooh - that's neat! I've got to try this!  I'm a big fan of pain play and this sounds like not only a great way to learn how to process pain, but also increase your pain limit and sensations as well.

Were there any kind of techniques, breathing or mental, that you went through? I like the bit about telling yourself to be good (I love to vocalize as well, very difficult for me to stay quiet!)


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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 4:24:24 AM   
sirsholly


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Status: offline 		That sounds intense and awesome!!

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 4:36:06 AM   
GabrielleSlave


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Status: offline 		T1981 i just told myself that it was an order to be obeyed like any other.  But the feeling of the table against my lips was a great help; i was kind of making an O shape against it.  Almost channelling my reactionary energy into the wood, if that makes sense?  i have had two children naturally without pain relief and maybe that helped.  But i think one of the biggest things was something i forgot to mention - the way i was tied meant that i could not move at all.  Usually Sir has me with my wrists tied above my head against the wall, my feet able to move to some extent.  This time, i was tied in a fairly stressful position over the table; if i had not had the ropes i would have fallen even though my top half was flat on the table top.  My legs were bent underneath it so that my feet were on tiptoes.  i think the mental bondage combined with the actual bondage meant that i was incapable of fighting in either sense.  That is something i have on the top of my list of horny-things-that-could-happen-to-me and now i know why lol!  Forced into acceptance, no choice.. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Holly - all i can say is WAHOOOOOO! You are darn right there!

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"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 4:43:31 AM   
mistoferin


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Status: offline 		I understand what you are saying....except I don't hear it, I see it. I visualize it and perceive it in colors and get lost in that. Sometimes, vocalizing pain is a distraction that disallows really feeling it. Vocalizing it releases it too quickly and doesn't allow me to savor the sensation of it. By visualizing it I can kind of break it down into pieces. The initial strike, which isn't immediately painful, as it contacts my flesh. The sharp bite when that strike registers in my brain. As each second passes I can see how that bite starts out affecting only the skin that was touched...hot and fiery red. I can see it's outline. Then as it begins to spread into the deeper tissues and I feel the warmth begin to grow outwardly. The initial strike becomes glowing, white hot and the red starts to seep out into the surrounding area. I focus on it and take in cooling breath and direct it to the area....the air I take in cooling blues and greens....sending it to that hot red/white area...picking up some of that color and mixing with it as I carry it back out. The intensity of the color at the site diminishes in intensity. This happens in fractions of a second and as the next strike lands it takes the focus and the previous one starts to fade a bit....but I can still see the glow. It's kind of like looking at it through one of those thermal imaging lenses. When there get to be lots of glowing patterns I find that I'm overwhelmed by the beauty of it. Kind of like my own laser light show that no one else can see...lol.

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 4:45:34 AM   
T1981


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Status: offline 		We're so going to try that - we've never done any really hard beatings (at least ones that have the type of pain that's harder for me to process) with me so tightly bound, I bet that would help ALOT, since the flinching is a naturual and often involuntary reaction. My legs always seem to want to curl up no matter what I do or how much I'm enjoying it, so that's a great tip! Thank you for that!

And two kids without pain medication?! Wow - that's strong! My husband laughs at me, but with as much as I like pain, I'm straight out DEMANDING an epidural when we have children. That's pretty amazing that you were able to do that!


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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 4:57:24 AM   
GabrielleSlave


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From: in servitude
Status: offline 		Oh Mistoferin, that is sooo beautiful!  What a way of describing it....thankyou for sharing that.  It is good to know that other people experience this in their own ways.  It is not just violent pain (if it was we really wouldn't do it would we?), there is more to it, so much more.  Me hearing it is the same as you seeing it; we are allowing ourselves to experience it at a deeper level and that makes it more incredible.  i feel humbled by what i felt last night and i have a deep need to experience it again. 

To me this is more than subspace and flying.  i get that too, nearly everytime He and i play.  i disappear and am deeply into what Wwe are doing together.  This was different; i was present, but gone at the same time and i hope that i can go there again.  More than acceptance, it was for me an appreciation of the subtle difference and voice of each toy and the way it spoke to my soul when it struck my skin.  Reading that back i am still a little phazed by what i am saying, but i am gradually embracing the fact that i may not be as mad as i thought and that this needs exploring further...

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"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 5:05:29 AM   
GabrielleSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: T1981

And two kids without pain medication?! Wow - that's strong! My husband laughs at me, but with as much as I like pain, I'm straight out DEMANDING an epidural when we have children. That's pretty amazing that you were able to do that!



Well i don't know about that lol!  i had training in breathing for labour with a yoga teacher and i had done meditation before that so i can almost go into a trance when i want to.  You should know that you and your body are capable of incredible things.  My two experiences of birth were fabulous, even with the second one being induced, but it has alot to do with self belief, the experience and skills of your midwife and the person who is supporting you as much as anything else (plus medical issues etc etc)

But like i said, i was present and gone at the same time.  This was not like anything i have ever experienced before...  Maybe the table hypnotised me without me knowing lol!

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Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 5:17:22 AM   
mistoferin


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Status: offline 		Gabrielle, this is something that I believe that anyone can do if they really put their mind to it. It is a learned way of processing that gets better with practice. You have to let go of a lot of the "normal" reactions to pain in order to control it. All of those "Oh fucks", "Shit that hurts" and "OMG that frickin' stings" have got to go. Those are self defeating and only intensify the bad, panicky feelings associated with pain. In my opinion, those reactions set you up to fail. The way that I process it is really a conscious decision on my part to not just accept the pain, but to embrace it. It does require changing your mindset going in and I'm not going to tell you that it is an easy thing to learn because, especially in the early stages of learning it, it is almost impossible to not be sidetracked or overwhelmed by the pain, which pulls you out of your focus. But even if you start to try it with just a few sensations you will find that with time you can do it with a few more each time. The pain just becomes a vehicle.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 1/3/2009 5:18:21 AM >

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Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 5:34:45 AM   
NYLass


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Status: offline 		It's an intense wonderful way to experience it.  What a wonderful thing to read this morning.  Thanks for sharing.

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 5:38:13 AM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
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From: in servitude
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Gabrielle, this is something that I believe that anyone can do if they really put their mind to it. It is a learned way of processing that gets better with practice. 


Yes, that sounds so right and two years into this lifestyle i am finalling getting to where i knew i wanted and needed to be.  i think i have had my Halelluia (sp!?) moment lol!  Last night i finally allowed the pain in, instead of trying to keep it at bay... Before i had wanted Sir to beat me and hurt me, but it was as i now understand it, because i relished the challenge.  It was the challenge that got me off more than the sensation.  Last night Master, through His order changed my perception of what i was capable of and the change is just as immense as the feelings.  i truly feel today as though i have reached a new level in my journey and i feel like shouting from the rooftops lol!

i want if Master allows it, to practice and practice and then do it some more!

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Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 6:23:59 AM   
RainydayNE


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Status: offline 		that is very interesting, and i think it would be a ridiculously awesome way to experience it.
sensations do seem to heighten when you can't make a big noisy deal out of them. i tend to vocalise alot but there have been times wheni  couldn't do it as much and had to find another way to what... i don't know what the word is
but the experience definitely becomes different

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 6:25:55 AM   
T1981


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave
Yes, that sounds so right and two years into this lifestyle i am finalling getting to where i knew i wanted and needed to be.  i think i have had my Halelluia (sp!?) moment lol!  Last night i finally allowed the pain in, instead of trying to keep it at bay... Before i had wanted Sir to beat me and hurt me, but it was as i now understand it, because i relished the challenge.  It was the challenge that got me off more than the sensation.  Last night Master, through His order changed my perception of what i was capable of and the change is just as immense as the feelings.  i truly feel today as though i have reached a new level in my journey and i feel like shouting from the rooftops lol!

i want if Master allows it, to practice and practice and then do it some more!


*is getting the warm and happy fuzzies reading about Gabrielle's excitement*


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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 7:25:59 AM   
SassySarijane


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From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline 		I so know what you mean about the intensity. I've been conditioned to be quiet when receiving pain and it takes a lot of pain for me to really react vocally to it. When it starts I breathe and focus, when it intensifies enough I hiss and squirm and a particularly intense delivery of it will wring soft sounds from me and an occasionally yelp, but I can't scream and I can't cry. I usually end up laughing and giving some comments at certain times throughout, but overall my breathing is what you hear and my body movements are what you see which is why to be able to play with me fully, the top has to know me and understand how to read me.

Congratulations GabrielleSlave!!!! Enjoy and embrace it!!

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 8:46:12 AM   
Dewolfsslave


Posts: 31
Status: offline 		mistoferin, that is such a beautiful description and thank you so much for sharing it. As a practicing pagan, i've done a lot of visualisation over the years, but had never thought of using it in quite that way before. Can't wait now until i'm able to try this approach! Re keeping quiet, this is something i have difficulty with myself. i start out with the intention of just absorbing and accepting pain, but certain toys (the dreaded dressage whip or the quirt for example) are almost guaranteed to provoke a vocal response. A lot of it is a question of getting into the right headspace from the beginning, breathing and focussing on pleasing Him, rather than my reactions to it, but still sometimes its hard to find that place in my head. Something else to try, thanks Gabrielle!

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 8:57:49 AM   
BitaTruble


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Status: offline 		That's why they teach breathing rather than screaming in Lamaze. 

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RE: Hearing pain... - 1/3/2009 9:29:07 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GabrielleSlave

... Because i was not making a sound i became more aware of the sensations i was receiving.  Pain was transformed into something else and i swear it felt like i was actually hearing it, because i could not hear my voice. 


Our perception of the world around us comes from our 5 senses.  But the input to those senses are not always preceived only part of the input we recieve is actually processed from our senses into a precieved understanding.   How many times have we drove down a street many times and then suddenly notice something that was there all along.  Walk down a forested path and we see trees but often we don't see that individual tree or a specific leaf but we do see trees and leaves.  So much input but we only have the abiltiy to focus and process a small part of that input.  Within play it isn't any different.  So much input but we only process a small part of it.  One of the fantastic things I enjoy about play is being able to channel and focus the things I want the person I am playing with to focus on.  Inhibited some senses and intensifing the focus on other senses changes the way a person perceives what is happening.

When I listen to the play you describe I hear that in your play previously alot of the focus of your perceptions was sound that you yourself created.  This inhibited your focus on so many other things that was occuring but you where never actually aware of them till now.  You might find that if you are allowed to once again be vocal that the play will be different than previous plays and that is largely because of the awareness you gained from this one play you have just enjoyed. 

Play is indeed very much a mental stimulation but we can affect significantly the way the mind precieves the play by controlling the focus of the senses in a variety of ways.   Control the way the mind is thinking and Control the focus of the senses and you can explore endless paths of pleasure and pain.

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 1/3/2009 9:31:08 AM >

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