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RE: Long distance relationships - 1/2/2009 4:53:03 AM   
PainPup2


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/13/2008
Status: offline 		Well for me personally LDR does not really work for me. i had a LDR with a Domme for 6 months. On the phone every night ,talked for hours on end. i'm pretty steadfast on a first time meeting within at least 2 months,but i let it slid on hopes and promises made that we would meet, but never came to fruit as there was always excuses from Her as to not ever meeting Her. After continuous excuses i had enough and forced to end this LDR. i don't feel it is unreasonable for a potential future slave to ask politely for a meeting at least once within that 6 month period of time.So i had to move on. i will continue my steadfastness in a meeting within that 2 month period or i'm moving on, as there is no future in dragging it out for months on end with no hopes of ever meeting. The sad part of all this is that She is only less than 3 hours away....St.Louis, Mo...ain't that HOOT...

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/2/2009 6:03:24 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		 Every relationship that I have attempted in the past has been an LDR--they failed NOT because they were LDR., but because it was the wrong fit. Though the subs professed to a relationship that would eventually move to real time, in actuality they meant "when the mood is there for them" or when the ambition surfaced-- about the sametime as the erection.
 
I stayed away from looking for a long time as it seemed I was the only one who understood the amount of work it has to take.  I am currently in an LDR with the sub in training, and he has shown more commitment given his circumstances than all of the ones in the past put together.
 
You have to be prepared for the work and for the fact that there is only so much of life that they experience away from you that you can control. You have to have a  willingness to make it work and as LadyPact initmated, the work really begins when life intervenes and you have no control.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/2/2009 6:09:06 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		In an LDR it is much easier for the person to hide a wife or girlfriend. Not saying they don't work. I have seen a couple that eventually became 24/7. But that is few and far between.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to CatdeMedici)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/2/2009 2:54:57 PM   
ItalianSMistress


Posts: 427
Joined: 1/19/2007
From: Niagara Region Ontario Canada
Status: offline 		I just wanted to say two quick things.  First off, I think some are confusing a LDR with something online.  In my opinion they are two totally different things.  Also, keep in mind that not everyones goal is to be 24/7, or married, or even living together.  Like I said in my first post on this thread, things were great for five years, until she wanted to move closer, that is when it stopped working.....

_____________________________

Governess

"Dominance is the ability to create a hunger in someone that's so strong they will do anything, anytime, anywhere just to please you."


http://italianmistress.livejournal.com/


(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/2/2009 4:27:31 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		Sir and I live an hour apart and it works for us. Sir is real anal about having his own space, and gets into those times when he just wants to be left alone to study or whatever he wishes to do. I love my space as well, so it works well for us. I am looking forward to being able to see him more now since family obligations have ended.

I do miss him, and he has told me he misses me. We have no future plans of living together. It works great for us, but i think all relationships that are worth the time is worth the effort

oceanwynds

(in reply to ItalianSMistress)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/2/2009 4:39:46 PM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline 		I just went over all this and the former link provided.  I know there are tons of threads on this.BUT . . . . . . . . .  .  what is LD?30 min60 min2 hrs6 hrs800 miles1200 milesI think when you get right down to the real distance,what one considers long, might be short for another. 

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/2/2009 4:45:32 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RealSub58

I just went over all this and the former link provided.  I know there are tons of threads on this.BUT . . . . . . . . .  .  what is LD?30 min60 min2 hrs6 hrs800 miles1200 milesI think when you get right down to the real distance,what one considers long, might be short for another. 


an hour apart might seen short for many, in yes it is. Long Distance though to me is when you aren't able to see each other on a regular bases. Many times this past year Sir and I could only see each other for a day or two on one weekend a month, sometimes two months. That to me classifies as long distance.

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/2/2009 5:02:38 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Daddy and I are one of the ones that became 24/7.

Now some people don't consider two hours away and 1 visit a week LDR but I sure do lol.
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

In an LDR it is much easier for the person to hide a wife or girlfriend. Not saying they don't work. I have seen a couple that eventually became 24/7. But that is few and far between.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/3/2009 11:42:29 AM   
RealSub58


Posts: 1073
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

Sir and I live an hour apart and it works for us. Sir is real anal about having his own space, and gets into those times when he just wants to be left alone to study or whatever he wishes to do. I love my space as well, so it works well for us. I am looking forward to being able to see him more now since family obligations have ended.

I do miss him, and he has told me he misses me. We have no future plans of living together. It works great for us, but i think all relationships that are worth the time is worth the effort


added later ~~an hour apart might seen short for many, in yes it is. Long Distance though to me is when you aren't able to see each other on a regular bases. Many times this past year Sir and I could only see each other for a day or two on one weekend a month, sometimes two months. That to me classifies as long distance.

oceanwynds


I "feel" exactly what you said in your first post wynds.My Sir is pretty anal about his space and time as well.Sometimes I am. And yes I do understand what you have said in the 2nd post.  But I believe I asked because I believe if someone speaks about long distance then I don't want to assume it's an impossible drive in a 12hr time or a financial burden to fly or take Amtrak or Greyhound. My very first mentor was across the ocean.  My former Dom was in Dallas and now I am 35 miles from Sir. Dealing with a "situation/circumstances of long distance" needs to be clarified so we are responding with intelligence when trying to help(give opinions, empathy, suggestions, share situations) someone "long distance."   I don't want to be the one assuming with advice or suggestions that the relationship is financially a burden by telephone or by travel expenses due to distance impossible in 12 hrs.  I am not fond of whiners who call 60 min/70miles long distance.I have empathy for women like you who are "very" close with phoning possible at least twice per day and the men we have as our Doms and our own need for space. I know that 1000mi can and does work ~~ when honesty and commitment are there.  Obviously I found my situation a problem.Looking back, I can say I learned so much and really do not dislike him, just parts of him. I made a long story just to say ~~ it would be nice to know what type of distance is spoken of, then intelligence can be used to respond.

(in reply to oceanwynds)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/3/2009 12:43:39 PM   
SirJohnMandevill


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Firebirdseeking

I am curious to know how others have "done" LD relationships. In particular, the beginning; how have you avoided filling in the blanks with blue sky and fantasy; how have you managed over time, and are they an exercise in futility?


Most of us would probably say LD relationships aren't easy, but the people involved make it oh-so worthwhile. My submissive lady and I are trulymadlydeeply in love, and we fill in the six weeks or so between visits with daily phone chats and e-mails. It's made somewhat easier because we also know there's light at the end of the tunnel -- no, not an oncoming train -- because I've promised to relocate to be with her no later than early 2010. (Work, financial and personal circumstances make an earlier date difficult).

 Les (Purveyor of Fine, Handcrafted Kink)

_____________________________

Iam an eroticist
I am a fully eroticized being
No more neuroses
I found my strip naked soul soup
With the deviant ingredient
---The B-52s

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/3/2009 2:04:11 PM   
brat_2_punish


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline 		I have only had one LDR. For me it didn't work because we could not communicate on what I would consider a regular basis. He was overseas and the time difference (10 hours) was the biggest issue.  But I do believe that if you are both committed to it and communicate constantly then it can work as well as RT.

Best of luck to all who try!

(in reply to SirJohnMandevill)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/3/2009 2:05:02 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		LDR's can work, it just takes both partners committed to making
the relationship work.

(in reply to brat_2_punish)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/3/2009 2:27:00 PM   
jstmi


Posts: 85
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		the thing i find that is a challenge with long distance relationships are the fri**in time zone differences.  i missed a chance to talk to Her today and since now we probably only have the weekends to talk it sucks , oh well

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/3/2009 3:05:26 PM   
Dewolfsslave


Posts: 31
Status: offline 		Master and i are in a LDR at present, we live about 300 miles apart and see each other for a couple of days or a weekend every month, with lots of phone calls, texts and emails in between. Its still 24/7 though, because i don't stop being His just because He's not physically present. I have certain things which are expected of me, which i can incorporate into my everyday nilla life which remind me of Him, and that helps too, particularly when facing the 'mid month slump' - when the length of time between the last visit and the next is the longest. As do the little things, like wearing a t shirt of his, writing my thoughts and feelings in a diary, and keeping in mind why i'm doing this - simply because i love Him. It works for us, partly because of the commitment we have, and partly because we both know that we won't always be apart. Later this year i'll be moving to be near Him.

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/3/2009 4:36:03 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline 		I do understand your point here and thank you for sharing it.


One thing that has been hard for me to adjust to in our 'short distance relationship' is living apart. I been use to living with someone for most of my life. This in itself brings on different challenges.

Thanks again, Real Sub for your input.

oceanwynds

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Long distance relationships - 1/9/2009 11:21:50 PM   
NewSlave6


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		Have just started a LD with a Mistress after many months of chatting, and only meeting 4 times and sessioning twice, in almost 11mths, so it is very difficult, and difficult seeing it through, but the time together was great, which gives some strength to it continuing. And will see where it leads.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 36
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