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RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/1/2009 3:48:20 PM   
hardbodysub


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Assuming that you're searching for real-life meeting(s), I think a profile should include the following:

(1) What you're looking for;
(2) Location;
(3) What you offer;
(4) Physical description and/or photo (face not necessary);
(5) Age (ballpark).

#1 and #2 are absolute, basic requirements. Don't expect anyone to contact you without them.
#3 is an opportunity to sell yourself. Provide as little or as much detail as you're comfortable with.
#4 should not be ignored. It's important to most people, and if you don't provide it, it looks like you're hiding something.
#5 matters also. It's less important to some than others, but at least a ballpark figure should be provided.

If this information isn't provided, it's very difficult for anyone to get any preliminary idea about compatibility. Without that, there's no reason for them to consider you.

After that, whatever you do to show creativity and individuality can help to separate you from the pack.

(in reply to KipperUK)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/1/2009 5:09:41 PM   
pompeii


Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
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Mine sucks. No cock shots at all. Just face. Just expression. No wierd CaPiTaLiZaTiOn either. And, no demands. None of that stuff. Just pure unadulterated stream-of-thought gibberish. Yup. Sheesh. Mine just goes on and on and on. Hell, what's worse, the damn "Forum Posts" button gives it all away. Can't hide nuttin' no more. Geezus. Stream of thought stuff ... hey, did I ever tell you the one about ..... ... ... ... 

(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/1/2009 6:46:45 PM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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Just checked out your re-vamped profile, and it's not bad, but it's also not exceptional. I'm not enamoured of your name (though here in Australia, haven't heard of the serial killer others have mentioned) ... I have been to the Isle of Man twice and been subjected to smelly salty kippers for breakfast! If you want to keep it, at least explain why you chose it. The photo is fine, could include a whole body shot (clothed is fine) to give an overview of your physique. Or could include a shot of you playing the guitar.

While I don't mind that you have mentioned a couple of failings (shyness etc), that's honest, I do think you need to sell yourself a bit more positively too. Ask some friends why they are friends with you! Can always put that in your profile as "Friends say that I am generous, kind, etc etc" so you are not big-noting yourself. A few words about what you might bring to a relationship with a Domme would be good. Eg you might be willing to help with computer problems, do some cooking for Her, take Her to a music festival or whatever!

With your interests, I have some personal reactions. To say you "live for" agnosticism sounds a bit odd ... is it really THAT important to you? Could reduce your gene pool of Mistresses a bit. I think listing music is a good idea if it's a big part of your life, it's a big part of Mine! you would "pass" for Me, I have not bothered to contact some subs who say they "love techno and rap" and "hate seventies music, folk etc" as that is totally counter to My tastes! However, I would hesitate to include "gambling" in the likes (I'd just not mention it at all) as that could concern a Dominant who might assume that you have a problem with it. Also, you include a LOT of individual pursuits such as Websurfing and various puzzles and computer games ... which would make Me as a Domme question whether I'd ever get you out from behind a screen to do something more practical! I'd limit that a bit, especially as it's also the subject of a number of journal entries.

Are your hard limits borne out of detailed knowledge and a considered decision never to do such things ... or are they the somewhat knee-jerk reactions of a newbie who has never experienced anything, or discussed what these activities might actually comprise with a Domme whom he trusts? If they are the latter, and that's very understandable, I would hesitate to put them as hard limits. As collarme doesn't give you the choice of a category which is "highly nervous about", I'd not mention them here but instead mentally tag them as things to talk about in depth with a Domme who otherwise looks interesting. For eg, many new subs assume watersports to mean "drinking urine" whereas that more precisely would be called toilet duties. Watersports can include a wide range of activities from drinking, through golden showers (ie being pee'ed on) to being called upon to pee with the Dominant watching to being told to pee your pants! Now it's eminently possible you might be prepared to do some of those but not all. Or you might do it at some time in the future to please a Dominant you have come to trust and developed a strong desire to please. So just be a bit cautious about listing things as hard limits (ie you will NEVER do them) when you don't yet have enough information.

I did like the finish of your profile regarding friends. That does leave the way open to correspond with people with whom a physical relationship may not be possible but from whom you can learn. Can be great as a newbie to seek that out.

I echo the advice of others re writing to Dommes. Make sure you have read their profile and you refer to it specifically, especially what in it attracts you enough to write to them. Remember they can check to see if you really have looked at their profile so don't bullshit. Don't just write a one-liner or just say hello, that drives Me nuts! Give Me something to work with, something that makes Me want to check out your full profile, something for Me to reply to and I may well reply. Don't assume that because something doesn't matter to you, that it won't matter to the Dominant. For eg, I have in My profile that I am only interested in boys already resident in Australia. I get fed up with boys from other countries writing to say that doesn't matter to them, they are happy to relocate ... all very well, but you can't just waltz into Australia at will, and I have no wish to put Myself through the protracted hassle and potential heartbreak of trying to import a sub! It matters to Me and in D/s, that should be the main concern!

Hope that helps! Good luck.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to KipperUK)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/2/2009 12:56:34 AM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
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The only Kipper I know of is the cute cartoon dog,I doubt anyone will think of the murderer

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/2/2009 1:05:30 AM   
JustDarkness


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Joined: 7/25/2008
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On the otherside...we should write a profile..that shows who the writer is..not what others want to see in the writer.
It is about you. The way you write and what you write... is you.

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/2/2009 3:37:50 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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I have the stupidest...er...best audio greeting EVA!

I suggest putting out what you want as well as what you have to offer. I see lots and lots on the checklist stuff but little about what you have to bring to a relationship.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to KipperUK)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/2/2009 3:42:36 AM   
JustDarkness


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Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I have the stupidest...er...best audio greeting EVA!


Master Fire



great voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I like your audio greeting

like beeing on a guided tour... love it

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/2/2009 4:27:01 AM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SteveAndJaz

When I look at a profile I always look at a facial shot first, then at there friends list and then onto the profile. The friends list gives credibility to your profile and in marketing speak is called a third party testimonial. I have contacted people on friends lists to check them out.



I have to disagree that the "friends" list has anything to do with credibility....it's like Myspace-just because someone is listed as their "friend" , it doesn't necessarily mean they actually KNOW them in person. I do know some people only put up their real life friends and not just someone who asked for an add, but if you don't know those people either, how much faith can you put in their assessment?

(in reply to SteveAndJaz)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/2/2009 7:59:16 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

On the otherside...we should write a profile..that shows who the writer is..not what others want to see in the writer.
It is about you. The way you write and what you write... is you.


Word! If everybody did this, meeting up with someone compatible would be a hell of a lot easier, wouldn't it?

(in reply to JustDarkness)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/2/2009 8:05:02 AM   
hardbodysub


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Joined: 8/7/2005
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You know, all this talk about profiles and I have to admit that I haven't even reviewed my own for such a long time that I hardly remember what's in it. Definitely could use a new picture or two. And I never really liked the name; just didn't have a good one in mind when I created the profile.

(in reply to KipperUK)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/2/2009 3:21:13 PM   
KipperUK


Posts: 6
Joined: 7/27/2006
Status: offline

Hi again, and thanks for the many responses.. I didn't expect this thread to last quite this long but its good to have comments.

I've rewritten - again, taking on board some points and trying to introduce a bit more personality into things; its not that I don't have a personality (i hope) - but just find it a bit difficult writing about myself in a biographical way.

I'd like to point out that my nickname was given to me before my earliest memories, and unfortunately I don't keep up on my serial killer trivia so if it has offended anyone, i'm sorry.  Can't change it after 30 years though, and not inclined to - so think of cartoon dogs (not dead fish either, also bad) and all will be well.

Thanks to Maamjay for a long and considered response; I've taken some of it on board and hope that rewrite #3 eradicates some of the bad and introduces more of the good :)  I certainly don't "live for" agnosticism, there just wasn't a button for 'this is what i am' but I can see how that might give a weird impression.  I've taken out some of the negative things too and hard limits; OK, I still might not be up for them but the fact is - I don't actually know - so i'll adopt my usual never say never approach, and just think to myself 'probably not' instead :)

Thanks to Dark too, for your responses and for your emails - its helped me with the latest version!

As for the photo's, i'd like to add some more but I don't want to show too much or too little; so maybe i'll just see if I can get a shot that shows my perfectly average physique and any more will have to be left to the imagination!


(in reply to hardbodysub)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/3/2009 6:49:22 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
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LOTS better! Comes across as a real person now, and I'm glad you've taken on board My comments about limits. Still think you need a bit more of what you might bring to a relationship with a Domme, though I suspect you don't have enough experience yet to really know that. So what you have written about what you seek and your willingness to explore will cover that for now. Once you have had some experience, you might come to know whether you want to be a part time or full time sub for example!

Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to KipperUK)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/3/2009 6:54:31 AM   
T1981


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Joined: 12/6/2008
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Agreed, Kipper. I took a look at your profile and found it to be a good read. You're quite honest in not only what you're like normally, but in your experience level. That's refreshing!

_____________________________

"Nothing is pointless, every single thing you do resonates." -Pintsize

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/3/2009 7:31:23 AM   
wandersalone


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Adding my vote for liking the changes you have made Kipper 

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(in reply to KipperUK)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/3/2009 10:04:39 AM   
MidMichCowboy


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Joined: 3/23/2007
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I like a profile that gives an accurate physical description, height, weight, age.
I like pictures (while realizing not everyone can show their face) you should at least show what you can. While some say it doesn't matter, it does. I think it's only honest to show your physical side (yea, I've been told ladies didn't find me attractive ... that is life).
Then put down your interests. Then write a profile that contains some clues as to who you are and what you are looking for in life.
I like profiles with journal entries so I can see how a person thinks.
Then I like to read their posts on the boards.
In an on-line world, we should present ourselves as best as we can.
Proof read it, spell check it, even have friends critique it.
You are presenting yourself for others to see, whether for friendship or romance or play.
Take pride in who you are. Don't play games and be honest.


_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/3/2009 10:13:30 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
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From: Texas
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Loads better, Kipper! Great job.  I got a real sense of you.. your personality .. and, you know what.. you sound like someone who is fun and who I'd be friends with. See how easy that was! Way to go!




_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Best sort of profile and photos? - 1/3/2009 10:33:37 AM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
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Hey Kipper ... home run. Very good profile. So tell me (as a fellow computer employed person) how is the market over there.
Drop me a line and let me know what type of work you do.



_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 57
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