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Sadists Revered - 12/28/2008 9:12:06 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
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Ok, I'm totally bouncing off Mistoferin's thread, but it hit me as I was reading the replies to that, that it feels the same exact way on the Dom/Top/Sadist side and I think this deserves some discussion.

In the circles I run in there are certain people who are known as the hard players, the extreme sadists, and just plain Evil. Some are more on a local level but one in particular I know is a nationally (hell, maybe even internationally) renowned sadist. She said to me once that she has to be picky about who she plays with because many people only want to "ride the ride" so to speak. That is, to play with her to say they did, for the thrill of it, but not because they care about her in particular. People who've played with her even seem to use it as bragging rights (to vouch for how much of a masochist they are, no doubt.)

So why do the extreme sadists become the rock stars? I am still young and in the scheme of things new to the scene (over 4 years, but still...) and I have only recently begun to let loose my sadism to the extent that I have always wanted to. I find myself looking up to the "bigger" sadists and admiring them, wanting to someday develop my skills and abilities to inflict pain to the level of theirs. This sounds so twisted but it's true and I know I am not the only one.

So should sadists be revered for their level of sadism? Are they in your community? And how does it compare to the reverence we've already discussed as seen in masochists/pain sluts?

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Post #: 1

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/28/2008 9:33:17 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

I don't find this to be the case, at least not that I've ever noticed.

I personally prefer sadists over doms who aren't into delivering pain, but I think there are just as many who like doms who don't have a penchant for it.

I really think all this imagined reverence stuff is hyper-magnified and way out of perspective in most cases.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 2

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/28/2008 9:40:56 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

It takes an awful lot to impress me let alone leave me in awe and rock star mentality or treatment has never impressed me unless the artist does so of their own ability, talent and personality and even then it will be probably be their "stage:" performance which will be what I am in awe of.

So why do these hard playing sadists get star ratings and some are revered? perhaps it is because they of all those with sadistic tendencies go the extra mile and push the envelope at times, or appear to do so to inexperienced eyes and do things we only dream of doing one day. If the player is really well versed and experienced as a safe player to play with (i.e. he or she used common sense and does take care not to go too far and endanger the life of the play partner, together with the care of tools, tops and implements as well as performing excellent levels of after care, they may well be deserving of what accolades you wish to heap at their feet. if they also are good responsible members of the community, helping and being ready to discuss their performances or even teach, they might even be raised to Godling status in rare cases. Still I would be surprised if most of you haven’t already got my point.

BTW, I am opening The Temple of The Great Bear soon so you all can come along and humbly (cough cough cough) worship and leave a weekly stipend of AU$500 paid in Australian Dollars, US Dollars, English Pounds or Euros..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 3

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/28/2008 9:52:19 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Same response I gave there:

Kinky values are big into "showy/flashy/endure for me/push limits" Behaviors which exemplify those values are revered and rewarded socially in the scene. I think because they want justification for doing it, for being naughty and nasty and tough. And because a lot of us are narcissists so the more showy and attention getting, the better.

To add:

It's also a shame because it's a prime cause of burnout. People get so focused on the flashy action that they don't find those real roots to dig into and let them sustain over time. As noted with this sadist, she's looking for a relationship that happens to have her brand of sadism. But others see her as a vessel for their kink.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 4

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/28/2008 11:57:10 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

It's true that I'm looking for a sadist, but to be honest I tend to avoid the 'big names', even for play. I find that people get the big names because they're willing to push the boundaries and provide plenty of 'whizzbang' for an audience, but at the expense of the connection with the sub. I want to finish a play session feeling that it's been about 'us', not 'us and the hordes of people watching'.

I will watch these people though, and see if I can pick up any tips for use with someone a little more grounded, but that's about it.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 5

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/29/2008 12:15:40 AM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline

It takes a lot to impress me and being a sadist no matter how 'bad ass' they think they are is not going to do it.Delivering pain onto a willing victim is really not all that difficult to accomplish.I get more impressed when I see beautiful rope work than a sadist doing their thing.

< Message edited by BondageBarbieX -- 12/29/2008 12:16:03 AM >

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 6

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/29/2008 1:14:27 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX

It takes a lot to impress me and being a sadist no matter how 'bad ass' they think they are is not going to do it.Delivering pain onto a willing victim is really not all that difficult to accomplish.

That thought struck me too. I can be sadistic enough, but every submissive is different. For me to think I can severely whip any submissive is fantasy. They don't have telephone booths anymore for Doms to change into the super sadistic SuperDom costume.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)

Post #: 7

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/29/2008 1:34:28 AM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
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Something I don't think has been mentioned: rarity. Those on the extreme ends of interests/behaviors/looks tend to be rare and are thereby noteworthy in finding and/or interacting with... regardless of what subject we're talking about. The masses that are the center of each bellcurve are seen and dealt with every day to some extent. Things different from the norm tend to catch the eye and mind.

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(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 8

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/29/2008 4:13:01 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

It may be the lateness of the night, or the tire from the long drive, but I'm about to say the most egotistical, shallow, and manipulative thing I've ever said on these boards. Please bear with Me.

Yes, I'm aware of it. Yes, I manipulate it. Yes, half of it is probably bullshit.

How or when this really happened, I really couldn't say. It was this gradual thing that sort of snuck up on Me. It was little things at first. The odd compliment that I was paid or the overt friendliness from people who had never met Me. The offers to present at places I'd never been or at venues that I felt were bigger than I deserved. People clamoring to play with Me who I didn't think had any idea of who I was or if I had a clue about what I was doing. I had people telling Me that I was a "name" long before I ever thought I was.

I just thought I was a decent Top. My skills were ok. I worked on them and all. In My opinion, I learned from the best. I was never as good as My teachers were in any particular field, but My opinion didn't always match up with others. People would pay a certain kind of attention. Paired with My masochist who could take whatever I could dish out or willing to try. It just seemed to keep getting bigger.

There were a lot of little things that led up to this. Then, I went to a convention. A rather large one. As I sat in the classes, My name came up time and time again. A mention during the stapling demo that I was the person who had done the penile needle insertion that so many had heard about. A banter during the wax class, where the presenter and I discussed shared technique. At every turn, I was given the exception to the rules. Special privileges where other people had none.

Not long after that, I realized the creature I created. I changed My tag line to reflect it. To many, I was the big, bad, sadistic Domme, but a lot of the people who knew that name had no clue of who I was behind the persona. I don't have to be beautiful, young, or even that intelligent. All I have to do is hurt people for fun. Only the ones who look close enough are ever going to see what's behind that.

Tonight, I'm just Myself. The one most don't get to see. I have both of My males sleeping under the same roof with Me, and I'm completely amazed by it. If that big, bad, sadistic Dominant got Me here, I'm rather grateful to her.

Should I be revered? No. But as long as you (generic you) do, I can promise I'm certainly going to take advantage of it. Every once in a while, it's worth it. I get to teach. I get to reap certain opportunities. Tonight in particular, I wouldn't want to be anybody else.

Editted because I said so. LOL.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 12/29/2008 4:15:47 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 9

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 4:19:18 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Good posts, Lady Pact and RumpusParable. Know what's interesting? The three of us from a relatively small city posting one after the other.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 4:31:42 AM

T1981

Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline

The best tops are the ones who know how to get inside their bottom's heads, and this doesn't nesscarily mean just straight out inflicting pain or humiliation - it means finding out what combination of what play drives their bottom to flying. For me, the most intense headspaces I've been in weren't just about the pain, it was about my husband working around inside my head and pushing those buttons. In that, I think that the best dominants aren't so much really handy with a flogger (although I'm sure they are) but also handy with reading their submissive's body language and going from there.

Any person can beat a masochist and get them smiling. It takes getting into that masochist's head, though, that makes the scene really good.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 11

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 6:39:39 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Some revere them... some fear them... some hate them and some love them... frankly.. I don't give a shit!

Call me a sadist.. Call me an abuser... Call me a fuzzy bunny.... it really doesn't matter because I am playing with Two Hotties and we are having a blast!!! We are not having fun because I am sadist or they are a masocist. We are having fun because we are doing things we enjoy. Personally... I would much prefer to be revered for having fun than being a sadist.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 12

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 7:02:03 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

KoM, who says it is anything different?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 13

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 12:14:25 PM

SensibleSam

Posts: 77
Joined: 11/17/2007
Status: offline

Knight of Mists lives in Edmonton, Alberta. Today I see the temperature has gotten up to four below. With wind chill that's twenty below. The forecast is for this warm spell to end soon and for temperatures to drop later in the week.

Living there strikes me as masochistic.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 14

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 12:55:08 PM

lockmeupplease

Posts: 202
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

DominaSmartAss---Every activity/vocation has those who are looking for the next extreme. Some do so because they are looking for a bigger rush and others do so strictly for their egos and the "bragging rights" that you mentioned. Two examples:

--I'm an avid skier and constantly run into others on the lift who want to brag about how they ignored the "Danger" signs, found a ridiculous cliff to ski and ended up buried in snow until someone helped them.

--At the casinos I play poker for modest stakes and always hear bad players bragging about playing at the high-roller tables. What they fail to mention is that they had to leave those tables because they lost all their money.

I'm not saying that those who play to extremes should not be revered for their skill, devotion etc....but quite often are being revered for the wrong reasons.

(did any of that make sense?)

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 15

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 4:52:30 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Sadists are the performers of the bdsm world. What they do is performance art - how could we not enjoy it? This does not take away from the rest who aren't into such overt showmanship. For all those who love to show off in front of others - bravo, and for those who are more into straight dominance, or degrees inbetween - bravo. There is plenty of room for all types.

ps - i'm not trying to imply that sadists are "acting" - i am well aware that they aren't - my Sir has impressed this on me - and my ass.

(in reply to lockmeupplease)

Post #: 16

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 4:55:03 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

I think most of the time the 'reverence' is in their own head, fueled by the comments of a few observers.

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Post #: 17

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 5:31:35 PM

mc1234

Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass
So should sadists be revered for their level of sadism? Are they in your community? And how does it compare to the reverence we've already discussed as seen in masochists/pain sluts?

The funny thing about 'levels' is that it's all a matter of perception. I've played with men who very proudly will say they are sadists. Yet, with one he was very pleased with how much of his play I could handle; with another it felt like borderline abuse to me. I'd much rather revere the person for who they are - not just for one aspect of his/her personality.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 18

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/30/2008 10:06:47 PM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have been thinking about this since I replied on the other thread. I think there's a misconception about sadists or masochists being revered. It may appear or seem that they are, but is it maybe that they are just talked about a lot because what they are doing or receiving is considered severe? And all of that discussion may seem like or sound like respect and awe, but it's really just discussion?

I am a sadist. I would not be flattered at all by someone respecting me because I enjoy causing pain. Seriously, that's like admiring someone for liking Enya. That would seem to me to be rather silly, and definitely not something to covet.

There are plenty of people just as and more skilled with different implements as I, who are not sadists, or not as sadistic. People who have fantastically creative minds to dream up beautiful scenes that bond the participants and magic and chemistry abound during such scenes. People who play their partners like violins and people who don't but they and their partners are fully and completely satisfied with their scenes and their play. People who are skilled and educated in shibari or other types of play that may or may not involve pain at all. People who are enjoying themselves with in WIITWD.

Reverence of those who get off on pain seems a bit silly in comparison.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 19

RE: Sadists Revered - 12/31/2008 6:22:37 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SensibleSam

Knight of Mists lives in Edmonton, Alberta. Today I see the temperature has gotten up to four below. With wind chill that's twenty below. The forecast is for this warm spell to end soon and for temperatures to drop later in the week.

Living there strikes me as masochistic.

Actually... I live somewhat farther north and it would of been a wonderful warm day if it was as warm as in Edmonton. But... don't you know.. that hell is not some hot wonderful place like florida... it a frigid cold heartless place in the north... the best place for a sadist and his two masochistic sluts!!!... I stay very warm.. they not so much on some days.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SensibleSam)

Post #: 20

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