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Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/27/2008 9:20:48 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
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This is a question posed to a very specific subset of people, but I'd love answers from either side or anyone else who thinks they have anything applicable to contribute.

Brief context: I am in a Daddy/girl relationship with my partner who is biologically male (I am bio female, this confuses people.) I am the Daddy and he is my girl (gender pronouns are pretty useless here so just go with it...) Our relationship is not one easily defined and people of the D/s and M/s variety are often confused as to "what we are." My girl is a submissive person, more to me specifically than in general, but a bit in general nature too, however she is not "my submissive" or "my slave" or "my property" etc. We have always considered ourselves partners, lovers, and Daddy/girl but don't have a clearly outlined D/s structure the way I did/do with other people who serve me.

The other night we were riding in the car and the girl said something to me, and then followed up with "please don't think I'm trying to control you or tell you what to do." So I jokingly said back, "of course not, you don't own your Daddy." And she said, "That's right, Daddy owns the little girl, the little girl doesn't own Daddy." That's what completely floored me. I later told her that it floored me and explained why and she didn't really have a response (sometimes words don't come as easily as mine do.) So, I can always bring it up again and the real meaning of it will have to be something we discern between the two of us, obviously.

It just leads me to the question. How many of you who are in Daddy/girl dynamics have the context of ownership involved? (or if there are any Daddy/boys, or Mommies out there too...) To what extent does D/s play into your relationship? Or M/s for that matter? Is your girl your slave or property?

Just curious about the variety here. I'm not looking for advice on my relationship - it's pretty well under control, thanks :)

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

Post #: 1

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/27/2008 9:48:04 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I have a close friend by the name of Master Daddy Dennis. He has three collared Master/slave relationships, two of which are Daddy/girl and one if which is not. He is Daddy to many in his clan, but he doesn't own them. They're all Ds relationship, but the three collared ones are Ms.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 2

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 3:25:33 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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I've tended to stay away from the Daddy/baby girl relationships because they haven't been my thing. However I'd guess that those Daddies who are ina D/s dynamic don't generally own their girls but those Daddies who are in a M/s dynamic do own them, because the ownership of the slave no matter how you define him or her.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 3

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 3:31:03 AM

NormalOutside

Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
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Daddy and owner (male), little girl and slave (female).

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I won't see your reply, because I don't use this account anymore.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 4

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 7:36:41 AM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline

All the Dominants that I have had in my life that I have accepted a collar from have owned me body and soul.I love the feeling of being owned and giving myself to my daddy.

(in reply to NormalOutside)

Post #: 5

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 8:24:31 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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call it m/s or d/s or whatever you chooose, but when i'm in a relationship, they own me, period...

if they are my lover only, they don't.

the daddy/little girl part of the equation has nothing to do with it one way or another.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 6

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 8:53:50 AM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

call it m/s or d/s or whatever you chooose, but when i'm in a relationship, they own me, period...

if they are my lover only, they don't.

the daddy/little girl part of the equation has nothing to do with it one way or another.

To clarify, is that to say that you can be in a Daddy/girl dynamic with our without the d/s, m/s, or ownership aspects?

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 7

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 9:22:09 AM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

call it m/s or d/s or whatever you chooose, but when i'm in a relationship, they own me, period...

if they are my lover only, they don't.

the daddy/little girl part of the equation has nothing to do with it one way or another.

To clarify, is that to say that you can be in a Daddy/girl dynamic with our without the d/s, m/s, or ownership aspects?

yes, very much so; been that way all my life.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 8

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 11:00:03 AM

Shylahgirl

Posts: 167
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

This is a question posed to a very specific subset of people, but I'd love answers from either side or anyone else who thinks they have anything applicable to contribute.

Brief context: I am in a Daddy/girl relationship with my partner who is biologically male (I am bio female, this confuses people.) I am the Daddy and he is my girl (gender pronouns are pretty useless here so just go with it...) Our relationship is not one easily defined and people of the D/s and M/s variety are often confused as to "what we are." My girl is a submissive person, more to me specifically than in general, but a bit in general nature too, however she is not "my submissive" or "my slave" or "my property" etc. We have always considered ourselves partners, lovers, and Daddy/girl but don't have a clearly outlined D/s structure the way I did/do with other people who serve me.

The other night we were riding in the car and the girl said something to me, and then followed up with "please don't think I'm trying to control you or tell you what to do." So I jokingly said back, "of course not, you don't own your Daddy." And she said, "That's right, Daddy owns the little girl, the little girl doesn't own Daddy." That's what completely floored me. I later told her that it floored me and explained why and she didn't really have a response (sometimes words don't come as easily as mine do.) So, I can always bring it up again and the real meaning of it will have to be something we discern between the two of us, obviously.

It just leads me to the question. How many of you who are in Daddy/girl dynamics have the context of ownership involved? (or if there are any Daddy/boys, or Mommies out there too...) To what extent does D/s play into your relationship? Or M/s for that matter? Is your girl your slave or property?

Just curious about the variety here. I'm not looking for advice on my relationship - it's pretty well under control, thanks :)

My Leather Daddy owns me. I am collared to him and he calls me his.

I ask permission before fucking others, smoking, or drinking.

I wouldn't call our relationship M/s... Daddy has me on to long of a leash for that... but I would call it D/s. Daddy is the Dom and the Baby Girl is the submissive. The only real difference is that Baby Girl can tell leather Daddy "no" or whine to Daddy in a playful way.

Shylah

_____________________________

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 9

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 11:11:37 AM

immoral

Posts: 99
Joined: 6/9/2006
Status: offline

like so many other things it depends on the internal workings of the individual relationships,all i can say is every girl should love her Daddy. and if while doing that it takes on other depths...or shallows..then thats how it is for them. hmm although..having originally written daddy with a small *d* i went back and changed it......

(in reply to Shylahgirl)

Post #: 10

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 12:56:52 PM

MrDevlin

Posts: 32
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline

I don't, generally, own/collar. While people from different generations can come together for play, they can't really relate/communicate outside "the game". I don't even try. Of course, there are always exceptions, and as ours is a patriarchal culture, I expect there is a dramatic difference in other than Male Dom/ Female sub relationships.

_____________________________

My belief in magic stands on a firm foundation; the utter improbability of my existence.

(in reply to immoral)

Post #: 11

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 1:32:04 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDevlin

I don't, generally, own/collar. While people from different generations can come together for play, they can't really relate/communicate outside "the game". I don't even try. Of course, there are always exceptions, and as ours is a patriarchal culture, I expect there is a dramatic difference in other than Male Dom/ Female sub relationships.

MrDevlin, I'm just curious, if you'll elaborate, what you mean by the above. Are you figuring that Daddies and girls must be from different generations? I'm sure that's the case in some situations but not all of them of course. I'm sure there are going to be others who will also note that people from different generations can and do communicate and relate well together but that's not the topic of this thread, so I'll leave it alone. I'm just not really getting the gist of what you're saying and would like to. Are you, yourself a Daddy but don't collar or own others?

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to MrDevlin)

Post #: 12

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 2:27:55 PM

MaamJay

Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline

I'm probably not the right person to post here as Master and i only age play in short bursts, rather than sustaining a Daddy/girl relationship. More often W/we are M/s and i would say that He owns me but as a human, rather than as property. (i just asked Him but He's not answering a difficult question like that since He's only been awake 10 mins and i've been up for 2 hours LOL!). However, to comment on the generational ideas ... Master is 37 and i am 52. Definitely different generations (i'm dangerously close in age to His parents!) yet W/we get on fine, have a lot in common, and communicate very well. W/we're planning to hit the road for up to 3 years in a van ... now that's a test of anyone's relationship (AND I'll be studying for My PhD at the same time!) but O/our previous travelling experience gives U/us both confidence it will work. Perhaps W/we are the exception to prove MrDevlin's rule. However, W/we are aware that when i call Him "Dadda" and He calls me "bubba" ... well it must look a bit odd! Even W/we can't sustain it for very long without cracking up laughing at how odd it seems ... but W/we thoroughly enjoy it and this is NOT meant as any disrespect to those who sustain Daddy/girl relationships. For U/us, it's much the same as pet play ... when i start imitating O/our female dog (who is definitely Daddy's girl!) ... He cracks up laughing too. All part of the fun!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 13

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 2:44:42 PM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

This is my view: The nature of your own relationship is yours. It's not in labels, or names or whatever. It's not M/s D/s or bdsm. It's your relationship. you and your partner define it. You make it grow and flourish. You love, you devour, you nurture. It's yours. No one else has that relationship. No one else can define it.

ENJOY!!!!

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 14

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 4:40:22 PM

MrDevlin

Posts: 32
Joined: 12/20/2008
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There are always exceptions, and people play at any and everything, but...Yes, by the terms employed, Daddys and their girls are from different generations. While I can, and do have conversations with my younger female "contacts", the focus is the game, apart from mutual sexual fulfillment, we don't share very much. I tend to think the difference adds as much as it detracts.
They "hang out" with people their own age, not with me.
And yes, having a bunch of miles on me but still into submissive females, especially younger, I'm a Daddy. I do have repeat encounters or sessions, but no, I don't collar/hold subs, ...so far.

_____________________________

My belief in magic stands on a firm foundation; the utter improbability of my existence.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 15

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 4:45:20 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

We certainly don't. We have kinky aspects in there, but there's absolutely no real Dominant submissive stuff. And certainly no Master slave, I am about as submissive as a Mack truck barreling down the road at 100 miles an hour and would mow any one down who got in my path lol.

He doesn't own me, I'm not his property, He doesn't control me. I am 100 percent my own person under my own control.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

It just leads me to the question. How many of you who are in Daddy/girl dynamics have the context of ownership involved? (or if there are any Daddy/boys, or Mommies out there too...) To what extent does D/s play into your relationship? Or M/s for that matter? Is your girl your slave or property?

Just curious about the variety here. I'm not looking for advice on my relationship - it's pretty well under control, thanks :)

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 16

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 7:35:08 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I have seen all variants of ownership with daddy/little, from zero to ultimate. And sometimes the little girl owns the daddy :)

And personally, I don't find anything confusing or difficult about your dynamics to understand. It's when people want to decide that you can't be X and Y that they have problems- but you already knew that.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 17

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 7:37:59 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay
W/we are aware that when i call Him "Dadda" and He calls me "bubba" ... well it must look a bit odd! Even W/we can't sustain it for very long without cracking up laughing at how odd it seems ...

If you think that looks strange, just imagine me and my girl :) Some people are boggled by us but those who are close to us and see our interaction understand the dynamic. For us, the Daddy/girl is 24/7 and not a roleplaying thing, as it is based on our inner identities; our authentic selves, so to speak and not a kink...However, no real D/s or ownership is entailed. Well, at least I didn't think so until the comment I referred to in my OP. I'm glad that you and your master have fun with it though, and congrats on the PhD in progress too - that's awesome!

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to MaamJay)

Post #: 18

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 7:41:01 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I have seen all variants of ownership with daddy/little, from zero to ultimate. And sometimes the little girl owns the daddy :)

And personally, I don't find anything confusing or difficult about your dynamics to understand. It's when people want to decide that you can't be X and Y that they have problems- but you already knew that.

Little girl owning daddy...I think I know at least one person who does that. In any case, I don't think my relationship is all that confusing or hard to understand either, and I hope I didn't imply that. It only made me confused for a moment when the "O" word came up. It wasn't what I was expecting, is all. Now, as for some people on the outside of our relationship going "Huh?" and "What exactly are you guys?" Well, that happens, but I personally don't think it's that hard to understand.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 19

RE: Question to Daddies: Do you own your little girls? - 12/28/2008 7:51:44 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDevlin

There are always exceptions, and people play at any and everything, but...Yes, by the terms employed, Daddys and their girls are from different generations.

Well, yes...And no. To me, "Daddy" and "girl" (or boy or whatever) are mostly states of mind and energies. I am a Daddy not because I'm older than my girl (I'm not) but because I have a nurturing, parental, authoritative, and masculine energy as opposed to my girl's feminine, loving, obedient, naive, and young energy. She's 3 years older than I am and has a biologically male body, so we have to base our relationship's structure off not what we appear to be on the outside but who we feel we are.

Traditionally, I will give you that in the Leather community Daddies and Sirs have been middle aged through older men while boys have been late teens through late twenties/early 30s. It seems that the 30s are an age when Leatherboys start to consider changing roles into Leather Sirs if it is something they feel called to do. Then again, some boys stay boys forever, no matter their age and in that case may be the same age or even younger than the man who ends up being their Sir/Daddy. But since you're speaking from a het, dominant male/submissive female point of view, so I don't know how much Leathermen come into forming your point of view anyway.

I'm definitely not arguing with you, I think that you're not incorrect that there could be assumed to be an age difference between Daddies and their charges, I just don't think it is so by definition...and it also comes down to the fact that people have many different reasons and motivations for identifying as Daddy - age may be only one of them.

Thanks for contributing to the discussion :)

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to MrDevlin)

Post #: 20

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