Punishments? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

greeneyedreamer -> Punishments? (12/25/2008 6:27:54 PM)

I have what is probably a very silly question, what have you done to be punished? I am curious, as I have never needed punishments yet but am rather new to the M/s dynamic...

Dreamer



cpK69 -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 7:09:03 PM)

~FR~

Let’s see…
 
Getting to our meeting place late (5ish min)
Bit his nipple too hard
Wore the ‘wrong’ type of clothing
Shared too many pics with someone
Looking at what he was doing, instead of focusing on what he had me doing
 
Pending…
 
Not trusting him
 
I’ve been warned about…
 
Wearing white panties
Not paying equal attention to two or more tasks at one time
Not responding/answering a questions in a timely manner
 
I think that’s it.
 
Kim



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 7:22:01 PM)

Biggest thing was mouthing off  a lot and being Sassy and disrespectful on a number of occasions. but that was in a relationship a long time ago. Daddy and I don't do punishments, We both believe if the problem can't be worked out after talking like two rational adults, then we have bigger problems.



DesFIP -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 7:53:33 PM)

Once, to help me move past guilt.

Beyond that, all problems between us have turned out to be misunderstandings. And punishing me for him not being clear or me thinking I understood when I didn't isn't going to correct the problem.

As far as willful disobedience goes, if I disobeyed just to say to him "Fuck off", then the problems between us would be too large to be cured by standing in the corner.



cpK69 -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 7:57:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss
Daddy and I don't do punishments, We both believe if the problem can't be worked out after talking like two rational adults, then we have bigger problems.


I don’t need to be punished in order to work out our problems either, nor would I expect it to be the solution to an offense, which is good, cuz that’s not what it’s for.
 
Kim



littlewonder -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 8:08:32 PM)

Accidently kicking him
Forgetting my place
Not following through on an order or a task

He gives some leeway on some things until he feels I should know better...other things, not so much



mc1234 -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 8:52:44 PM)

In a past relationship, it was being mouthy and disrespectful - which was indicative of deeper communication issues which would have been better solved talking about things rather than his issuing spankings.  Hence, it's a past relationship.  



DarkSteven -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 9:15:55 PM)

I have punished for:
Consistently not thanking me for doing things like buying dinner.
Deciding to change her previously agreed-upon limits.
Disobeying an order to come to me.
Wrecking her car.
Treating a guest of mine without respect.



greeneyedreamer -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 9:33:06 PM)

quote:

I have punished for:
Consistently not thanking me for doing things like buying dinner.
Deciding to change her previously agreed-upon limits.
Disobeying an order to come to me.
Wrecking her car.
Treating a guest of mine without respect.


WOW, sounds more like a child then an adult and thoughtless. I can't ever imagine treating anyone that way even a friend. Sad...



YourhandMyAss -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 10:01:36 PM)

hehe if I got punishments for accidentally hurting him then my butt would hurt quite a lot, since I used to sit up from a prone flat position, by shoving up off his chest. He finally drilled into me Daddy is not a spring board DO NOT push against his chest to shove up and off the bed lol.
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Accidently kicking him
Forgetting my place
Not following through on an order or a task

He gives some leeway on some things until he feels I should know better...other things, not so much




YourhandMyAss -> RE: Punishments? (12/25/2008 10:10:09 PM)

What I mean is, like lets say I am refusing to pick up my room, or doing something he finds distasteful, if a clear discussion about the behavior and expected outcomes of having this talk, and a reminder to stop it  isn't enough to stop the behavior then, that means to us that I really don't care enough about his feelings to behave after our talk and punishment, isn't going to change that, and so we have deeper issues.

I will tell you for example, and this is a real one, that the very first time he took me to Mary's where his sister in law had just started a new job and I said look Daddy the ranch looks like Cum, And to be honest it's not really fair I got scolded since I was regressed, but  all he had to do was say stop it and behave. I have never since then misbehaved at the restaurant. Now that he also works at Mary's and we eat there all the time he's never had to tell me again to behave or watch what I am doing. I know full well it's his work place and my best behavior and manners are required.

My not well communicated point is, and I am probably poorly conveying it, is that all is really needed with me is a good talking to and the expectation of the talking to to be* stopping the behavior*  layed out, and I have never really misbehaved on that subject again.
quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss
Daddy and I don't do punishments, We both believe if the problem can't be worked out after talking like two rational adults, then we have bigger problems.


I don’t need to be punished in order to work out our problems either, nor would I expect it to be the solution to an offense, which is good, cuz that’s not what it’s for.
 
Kim



IronBear -> RE: Punishments? (12/26/2008 3:45:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer

I have what is probably a very silly question, what have you done to be punished? I am curious, as I have never needed punishments yet but am rather new to the M/s dynamic...

Dreamer


Fistly Dreamer, I wonder if you would mind defining what you mean by "Punishments" please.



cpK69 -> RE: Punishments? (12/26/2008 4:41:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

My not well communicated point is, and I am probably poorly conveying it, is that all is really needed with me is a good talking to and the expectation of the talking to to be* stopping the behavior*  layed out, and I have never really misbehaved on that subject again.


I think you did a fine job communicating your point; though I might not have, mine.[;)]
 
I don’t see a need for a discussion on many of the things I’ve done to make him ‘unhappy’. Most of it, I sensed he was unhappy about before he even said so, and I’m fairly good at figuring out what to do to prevent a ‘next time’ from happening on my own. If I have questions, I’m allowed to ask for clarification. There is no need for punishment to correct the problem.
 
The experience as a whole severs as a reference that automatically pops into my head when triggered by some cue from a previous situation, but is mostly about closure, transference, bonding, and experiencing his emotions in a physical/psychological venue.
 
Not sure what it does for him, but he once told me (a long time ago), he punishes me because I expect him too. (Still pondering that one.)[8|]
 
Kim



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Punishments? (12/26/2008 5:10:10 AM)

fast reply

i was punished 2yrs ago for being publicly spanked at a well-known leather bar.  looking back at it now, i can understand why Daddy was sorely upset and disappointed at me.



MRandme -> RE: Punishments? (12/26/2008 5:15:02 AM)

i have been punished for:

lying (only once, when we first got together)
forgetting to do a routine task
not being able to do a routine task due to poor planning
not informing Him of the inability to do something (if i cannot complete a task due to things beyond my control, i must inform Him ASAP)

Usually, if i forget something when i am with Him, i get a reminder or warning, which is all i need. When i am home, and forget something, that is when i earn my corrections. By punishment, i mean 3 to 5 swats with a paddle.



DesFIP -> RE: Punishments? (12/26/2008 6:00:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
I have punished for:
Deciding to change her previously agreed-upon limits.


I've had to hard limit stuff after trying it and discovering I couldn't handle it. Sometimes your mouth writes checks that your body or your emotional well being can't cash.



pompeii -> RE: Punishments? (12/26/2008 6:02:59 AM)

I've funished someone just to let her know exactly what her punishment would be and how it would feel were she to need it.



greeneyedreamer -> RE: Punishments? (12/26/2008 6:20:36 AM)

quote:

Fistly Dreamer, I wonder if you would mind defining what you mean by "Punishments" please.


Something you do to your submissive when they do something wrong. doesn't matter what it is... and additionally, are punishments ever really necessary? i mean i suppose if someone does something purposefully to hurt or annoy you, but then is that the kind of submissive you would want? just curious...



IronBear -> RE: Punishments? (12/26/2008 6:49:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer

quote:

Fistly Dreamer, I wonder if you would mind defining what you mean by "Punishments" please.


Something you do to your submissive when they do something wrong. doesn't matter what it is... and additionally, are punishments ever really necessary? i mean i suppose if someone does something purposefully to hurt or annoy you, but then is that the kind of submissive you would want? just curious...




quote:

Something you do to your submissive when they do something wrong. doesn't matter what it is...


  This will depend on: 
  1. What they did.
  2. Where they did it.
  3. Why they did it. 
    In most cases the punishment is knowing that they have either failed me or that I found them displeasing.   The most important thing is to stop it happening again which of course means revisiting their training with additional training or practice. If it was something outside of their control then we look at how to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

quote:

are punishments ever really necessary


  In short, yes. To fail to punish would be to fail my slave and our dynamic which is based on strict control and discipline. In most cases a slave will expect some form of punishment if warranted even if it is “the look” or just a few words followed by a not to gentle swat on her bottom. 

   
quote:

 if someone does something purposefully to hurt or annoy you, but then is that the kind of submissive you would want? just curious...


  the slave’s actions would be a deal breaker so the door would be opened with bag (slave) and baggage placed firmly on the boundaries of my property. Been there done that.



agirl -> RE: Punishments? (12/26/2008 8:49:44 AM)

I've been punished twice in many years..........both times for a lie.

Other than that, there is a penalty system in place......ie. You do that/don't do that .......I do this.

It works very well for me with the personality I have. There's never any sense of upset, never any sense of having disappointed him. It's there for specific reasons for specific circumstances and he has my agreement for each situation. From time to time we review it and make changes as life moves on.

agirl









Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
3.027344E-02