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RE: Punishments? - 12/26/2008 11:42:07 AM   
NuevaVida


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Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cpK69

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss
Daddy and I don't do punishments, We both believe if the problem can't be worked out after talking like two rational adults, then we have bigger problems.


I don’t need to be punished in order to work out our problems either, nor would I expect it to be the solution to an offense, which is good, cuz that’s not what it’s for.
 
Kim


I agree with cpK69 here.  I've been punished in the past and it wasn't used as a solution to the problem.  It was a consequence for breaching my agreement and commitment to obey and be respectful.

Words like what YHMA wrote above (and we've seen these words time and again from many) always strike me as blatant put downs for those who do not live as they do.  "I'm an adult and don't need to be punished" translates to "If you need to be punished you're not an adult."  Nice.  Very nice.  Punishment was part of the dynamic with my former owner.  It is not part of the dynamic with the man I am seeing now.  Neither dynamics has anything to do with anything other than adult behavior.  To imply otherwise is to be, if I may blatantly say, really ignorant.


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(in reply to cpK69)
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RE: Punishments? - 12/26/2008 1:20:35 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: greeneyedreamer

I have what is probably a very silly question, what have you done to be punished? I am curious, as I have never needed punishments yet but am rather new to the M/s dynamic...

Anything she does that actually makes me angry is subject to punishment.  Since that's not an easy thing to achieve, it works out quite well that I loathe the need to punish....
 
A bit of corrective discipline is a different matter.  Overstepping or forgetting her place or manners etc will certainly get my attention without angering me.  Most things are fixed with the dreaded "stare" (esp if we're out in public) or a menacing "excuse me!?!", or both - except I'm in the mood to make her squeal or squirm a bit for me....
 
Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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RE: Punishments? - 12/26/2008 2:07:58 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		It's almost impossible to disappoint or anger M. Just as *I* know what to expect from him, he knows what to expect from me. 

I am myself.....with his full encouragement;  he can handle the fall-out and I thrive with the freedom.

A look, a finger to the lips, a knowing *shhh* aren't punishments, they are the little tugs on the string while I'm busy flying free.

agirl


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Punishments? - 12/26/2008 2:51:04 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		In three years, I've been punished once. A very unpleasant experience. It was for an act of willful disobedience, doing the exact opposite of what I'd been told. I won't go into specifics. Needless to say, it will never happen again.

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RE: Punishments? - 12/26/2008 3:00:44 PM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline 		I have only been "punished" once, and that was for letting a vibrator slip out of me when it was supposed to stay in. 25 clit lashes with a riding crop later, I decided to NEVER EVER EVER let that happen again.

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RE: Punishments? - 12/26/2008 9:17:03 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		No, I'm not putting down any one else who wants or needs a punish dunamic, but to me and our relationship if things broke down so far as needing punishments it'd mean I didn't care to behave, or I didn't care to listen to Daddy the first time I did something wrong and he talked to me about it.

And I still maintain we have bigger problems, if I am to the point or getting to the point of not careing what he says and him talking to me doesn't fix the issue..

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Words like what YHMA wrote above (and we've seen these words time and again from many) always strike me as blatant put downs for those who do not live as they do.  "I'm an adult and don't need to be punished" translates to "If you need to be punished you're not an adult."  Nice.  Very nice.  Punishment was part of the dynamic with my former owner.  It is not part of the dynamic with the man I am seeing now.  Neither dynamics has anything to do with anything other than adult behavior.  To imply otherwise is to be, if I may blatantly say, really ignorant.


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RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 12:29:54 AM   
satansmurf69


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline 		CHANGING MASTERS profile got me in trouble


< Message edited by satansmurf69 -- 12/27/2008 12:32:29 AM >

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
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RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 12:31:36 AM   
satansmurf69


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/4/2007
Status: offline 		25 clit lashes.......Yes that would help with the muscle control 

< Message edited by satansmurf69 -- 12/27/2008 12:33:03 AM >

(in reply to T1981)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 12:52:42 AM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline 		It is quite wise for a Dom/me to punish their sub/slave at least once, to ensure they know where their boundaries lie.

A punishment is not a mamby pamby playtime, it should be a serious emotional & physical boundary.

Some of my subs also test my Dominance by being late etc, however I am adept at that, and simply do not punish them physically, but in other ways mentally

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(in reply to satansmurf69)
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RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 7:27:28 AM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satansmurf69

25 clit lashes.......Yes that would help with the muscle control 


lol - it did makes things a little difficult afterwards, thankfully they gave me a break before it was reinserted. To make things easier on myself, I'm working on doing kegel excersises. I'm not one to needlessly search for uber painful punishments, so I'm definately working on making that one better! To be perfectly honest, while it hurt like hell and brought me to the sobbing point, it was interesting because it was the second time my pain limit had ever been brought to threshold. Made for interesting discussion the next day!

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RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 8:15:41 AM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		I'm such a good girl that I never require punishment. 



Oh wait, now I remember.  The only time I was punished was for being very passive aggressive and having a  sarcastic tone.  My Dominant (friend) is very laid back and I honestly wasn't trying to take advantage, but I supposed I'd "relaxed" a bit too much.  I tried to back peddle when I realized my grievous error, but nope...it didn't work.  It was a lesson well learned.

_____________________________

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RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 12:35:23 PM   
naughtyprincess3


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am curious, if you don't mind sharing, what some of the punishments were for different offenses. I myself am a girl who needs punishment. I need to know that if I get out of line my Daddy will have no problem getting me back in line. The problem that sometimes arises is selecting suitable punishments for the infraction.


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RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 12:42:58 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		I'd rather think that's for your Dom to decide .... 

(in reply to naughtyprincess3)
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RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 1:11:55 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtyprincess3

I am curious, if you don't mind sharing, what some of the punishments were for different offenses. I myself am a girl who needs punishment. I need to know that if I get out of line my Daddy will have no problem getting me back in line. The problem that sometimes arises is selecting suitable punishments for the infraction.

Hi and welcome to the Boards....  :-)
 
What you describe is not necessarily "punishment" per se' but the setting of boundaries of what's acceptable behaviour and what isn't - and the consequences of it.
 
To elaborate on my earlier post, if she's made me angry to the point that I'll punish her, then I don't want her anywhere near me and she's banished to the nearest corner until after I've cooled back down and then we'll talk.
 
But if she's just overstepped a little or been disrespectful etc, then I'll discipline her with whatever seems appropriate for that time and incursion.  Often, just "the stare" suffices, esp in public.  When we have privacy, it'll probably be something that stings or (a pet favourite) I might haul her up on her toes with a pinch of pubes and really get in her face about whatever she did or said.  Did I mention I loathe shaved pussy? ;-)
 
The difference between deciding whether to discipline and punish is entirely the internal response her actions cause me - and I reeeeeeeally don't like being angered!
 
Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to naughtyprincess3)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 1:36:41 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
Getting to our meeting place late (5ish min) = kneeled in front of mirror 5 min… front of shirt and hands behind head

Bit his nipple too hard = spanking 10 strikes w/hairbrush

Wore the ‘wrong’ type of clothing = preformed oral until ejaculation, which was unloaded onto my chest and then instructed to wear offensive shirt over cum until specified time

Shared too many pics with someone = disassociated for the day

 
Looking at what he was doing, instead of focusing on what he had me doing = face slapped (I wasn’t really looking at what he was doing L )

Not paying equal attention to two or more tasks at one time = I was told I would receive a purple ass if this were to keep happening.
 
Kim

_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to naughtyprincess3)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 2:21:08 PM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

But if she's just overstepped a little or been disrespectful etc, then I'll discipline her with whatever seems appropriate for that time and incursion.  Often, just "the stare" suffices, esp in public.  When we have privacy, it'll probably be something that stings or (a pet favourite) I might haul her up on her toes with a pinch of pubes and really get in her face about whatever she did or said.  Did I mention I loathe shaved pussy? ;-)
 

Focus.


I think the stare, pinch, and tone of voice must be #1 through #3 in the Dominant training manual. 

As I'm now fully aware of my boundaries, these are all warning signs I rely on to adjust my attitude.  However, we were chatting online when I became very passive aggressive and tossed in a bit of sarcasm.   I had to learn how to recognize online warning signs and no further "correction" has been required.



_____________________________

Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. Dalai Lama





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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Punishments? - 12/27/2008 2:27:38 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Like I said we don't do punishments in this relationship, but my punishment for being rude and ill behaved and lying to one Dom,  was being released from my then Dom. He had had enough and he was done with me and washed his hands of me.

With the Daddy I have now I willfully broke one of his requirements of playing with others, because I cared more about what I wanted than the rules Daddy had in place, and I chose to take my profile down for a month and not meet any one at all for a month, Since I couldn't be trusted enough to do what Daddy said I didn't deserve the privilege.


And I said I chose to, because he didn't believe my act needed punishment, since I had fessed up and had not chosen to keep shut, Plus his sheer hurt and disappointment was enough for me to never do that again.
quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtyprincess3

I am curious, if you don't mind sharing, what some of the punishments were for different offenses. I myself am a girl who needs punishment. I need to know that if I get out of line my Daddy will have no problem getting me back in line. The problem that sometimes arises is selecting suitable punishments for the infraction.




< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 12/27/2008 2:30:00 PM >

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RE: Punishments? - 12/29/2008 7:52:25 PM   
Decadentpleasure


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/24/2005
Status: offline 		In 5 years i've only been punished twice.  Once for being sassy resulting in 24 hours of silence and the second time for using a restricted word, which resulted in 48 hours of silence.  The silence wasn't me not being allowed to speak, but not being allowed into Master's company for the length of the punishment. (this has to be the most absolute worst punishment ever!)

There have been several times (like recently) that i've come close to another punishment as i've been given 12 blondie points per year.  Prior to Master, due to my occasionally doing or saying goofy things without thinking (and yes i'm blonde) i would give myself 365 blondie points per year in an effort to train myself to watch what i say or do for self-improvement.  

Once i became Master's, He challenged me by reducing that amount to 12 blondie points per year.    Normally i average around 4-5 max, but this year i actually got down to 1 remaining blondie point and boy was i in fear of the punishment..2 months of silence.  Never fear though, because i've got a great Master that admits His own faults and has a great sense of humor, He gave me back several points for His own goofyness.

_____________________________

~Loved Cherished Owned, i am His pleasure for His pleasure~

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