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Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 2:08:06 PM   
LATEXBABY64


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This post is mainly for us subbies and slaves

       I know alot of us search for that domme or dom that will help us become something more and bond with them on great levels. Some of us get burned out on are search because most of the time people are not what they say or do on here and other sites.  if you really want to use your subbie or slave skills first set some rules for yourself  protect your self from emotional vampires and other things that could wreck your life in a big way on these levels

      Mental Emotinal Fiscal like your credit.  Establish what you want in someone and expect but keep in mind you will never get what  you expect out of someone cause no one is picture perfect 
      have an out plan. do not move in with a dom domme to fast take the time to test them understand them. sense being a sub slave means being responsible for you
YOU HAVE MIND USE IT  do not fall prey to cougars or preditory behavior  if something is bad it is people do not chnage at a whim and sometimes it takes dierastic messures to fix those things 
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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 2:22:32 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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Nothing here that shouldn't apply to dominants, switches, and vanillas looking for love on line.

Just basic stuff, so why do you believe it is only submissives who make stupid decisions?

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 2:31:35 PM   
starshineowned


Posts: 1551
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From: Texas
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Greetings..

quote:

  I know alot of us search for that domme or dom that will help us become something more and bond with them on great levels.


I did not search for a Master to help me become more. I searched for a Master that would accept what I already was without judgement or supression which allowed for bonding. Figured we both could grow from that point on through learned and shared  experiences.

What you describe though as far as precautions goes for any budding relationship.

starshine

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 2:43:48 PM   
oceanwynds


Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

This post is mainly for us subbies and slaves

      I know alot of us search for that domme or dom that will help us become something more and bond with them on great levels. Some of us get burned out on are search because most of the time people are not what they say or do on here and other sites.  if you really want to use your subbie or slave skills first set some rules for yourself  protect your self from emotional vampires and other things that could wreck your life in a big way on these levels

     Mental Emotinal Fiscal like your credit.  Establish what you want in someone and expect but keep in mind you will never get what  you expect out of someone cause no one is picture perfect 
     have an out plan. do not move in with a dom domme to fast take the time to test them understand them. sense being a sub slave means being responsible for you
YOU HAVE MIND USE IT  do not fall prey to cougars or preditory behavior  if something is bad it is people do not chnage at a whim and sometimes it takes dierastic messures to fix those things 


Actually that is pretty good advice and i do use it.

I also have another rule that i live by, which is to be aware of those people who call people energy vampires, fakes, etc. To me it is still not taking responsibility for oneself, but blaming another. I am extremely ridged on taking responsibility for my actions and not trying to blame on line or off line for what happens to me.

oceanwynds

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 3:59:44 PM   
LATEXBABY64


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because doms and dommes are suppose to be leaders and educators to control you must be able to work the thoughts and emotions and have responesiblity look it up 

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 4:39:38 PM   
SlaveIndigochild


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Life in general burns us out if we are not aware.....raising kids, long hours commuting, paying taxes, taking drugs, degenerative illnesses, bad marriages....so on so forth.
Life and perpetual youth are all an illusion.



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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 4:51:14 PM   
kiwisub12


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

because doms and dommes are suppose to be leaders and educators to control you must be able to work the thoughts and emotions and have responesiblity look it up 




well - hell!  We're supposed to use sentences and punctuation too, but obviously that isn't a given either.

I'm a sub/slave - but i am responsible - does that mean i am in touch with my dommie side?

and look it up where?

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 5:53:47 PM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

because doms and dommes are suppose to be leaders and educators to control you must be able to work the thoughts and emotions and have responesiblity look it up 


And therefore subs are all doormats and uneducated, with no self control, no ability to be responsible for themselves? The better educated you are, the more self control and responsibility for your actions you have, the better submissive you will be.

And yes, you can look that up. 


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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 6:37:26 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
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Fast Reply:

I know alot of us search for that domme or dom that will help us become something more

I was first gonna shout " Hey that sounds like your saying dominants are like some greater form of human being than submissives ...no no no dont agree!" (grin)... but then I kinda thought about it and thought maybe he means "becoming more" as in finding a dominant partner that your compatible with that brings out the best you can be as a submissive/slave"..now that I can agree with.  Thats a kinda becoming more ..

if you really want to use your subbie or slave skills first set some rules for yourself  protect your self from emotional vampires and other things that could wreck your life in a big way on these levels

I agree with that. When Master and my chatting become more about a potential relationship I was like a business manager. Thre were certain things that I knew were necessary to be manifest in any partner I could have a long term relationship with. I was fully prepared to say "this isnt gonna work out" if anything came to light that I couldnt live with.
I didnt have a HUGE list..but just things that were important to me, like I really cant be around heavy drinkers, I couldnt be around a drug addict, I had to know how he felt about monogamy, how he handles conflict resolution, whether he likes to do community work, also his type of play was important to me and his style of dominance(personality expression) ( ie i couldnt handle a person who I could easily manipulate and feel power over even when the word LOVE comes into the equation). Also a really really biggie for me was his spiritual views.

have an out plan. do not move in with a dom domme to fast take the time to test them understand them.

Well, Master and I have been living together since the moment we first met...so umm ..I think this shows you have to take each individual case for its merits..however before we met, we had spent approcimately 3000 hours talking probably longer than people who meet face to face first do before they start living together.

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 7:49:09 PM   
stella41b


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This is what I really like about Latexbaby.. every so often he comes out with a little bit of genius which makes a lot of sense.

Basically I think he's saying that to be able to submit to others and serve them, you must first be able to submit to and serve yourself.

This kind of mirrors that bit about doms who before assuming control of others need to be in conrol of themselves.

I'll go along with that.


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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/14/2008 10:31:58 PM   
greeneyedreamer


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I hate to be petty here... but it's a real pet peeve of mine that you should spell check things before posting. I know it's petty, but think of it this way, when you misspell something, it highlights in RED. LOOK at your post first. EVERYONE makes a mistake or two, but when you have more than one or two errors, it is hard to read and takes away from your message.

{steps off her soap box and sits quietly in the corner waiting for the people to holler at her! }

Dreamer

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/15/2008 5:10:25 AM   
LATEXBABY64


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greatness is something to beable to look beyond someones faults and see the good things in them

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/15/2008 6:21:31 AM   
persephonee


Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
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hey dreamer...

no one will yell at you, more than likely, but if youre waiting for lbaby to actually post something coherent and well put together, you may want to pack a lunch.

Buried in there somewhere was a point that was so generalized and basically common sense (or should be) that it came off as insulting....but only a little.

perse
*wanders off to look some things up*

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/15/2008 6:23:49 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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quote:

Just basic stuff, so why do you believe it is only submissives who make stupid decisions?


Valid point, I see TONS of Dom profiles that indicate they tire of players (or whine about being played).

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RE: Subbie Burn out - 12/15/2008 5:48:36 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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have to look at what is a forum site what rules apply when posting. I think if you spend to much time here you have to much time on your hands  take it for what it is worth and move on  yep

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