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Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 10:30:31 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		It seems for many that what some do in this lifestyle is unbelievable or just plain fantasy to others.  It's not so much a negative thing, but our own experinces make it difficult to understand or appreciate some of the things that actually occur.  For some it is rather shocking and even a sense of freedom gained when what seemed unbelievable or just plain fantasy is a reality.  We find this freedom because many have these desires and fantasies but our experiences and rational thought makes us believce them to be fantasy and never a reality. 

So... are there things that you found shocking to find as a reality or found to be a relief for yourself as you found things that you fantasize about to be a reality out their in the lifestyle community?  Are there some things that you fantasize about that you have difficulty believing can be a reality?  What re some of things you have done that broke the barrier from disbelief to belief in many of the things that occur in this lifestyle?  What other thoughts do you have?

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 10:38:01 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		No. I am rarely shocked to find out there are actually people doing actual kinky things and mot merely flapping their gums about a fantasy they made up..


Somethings I might find disgusting, like necrophilia, But I wouldn't be surprised over to much.


No, none of my normal  fantasies I believe can not become real.   I know there are some fantasies that will always be fantasies and will never come to pass , just because the things I fantasize don't exist and never will in my life time like  were leopards, or lycanthropy.

But do I find it hard to believe everyday normal fantasies can't become reality, no I don't.


What have I done to break the barrier of disbelief in my self? I never had a barrier of disbelief. I wasn't surprised or shocked,  at most the things people did, even when I was brand new. I suppose that has to do with having a very vivid imagination.

.
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

It seems for many that what some do in this lifestyle is unbelievable or just plain fantasy to others.  It's not so much a negative thing, but our own experinces make it difficult to understand or appreciate some of the things that actually occur.  For some it is rather shocking and even a sense of freedom gained when what seemed unbelievable or just plain fantasy is a reality.  We find this freedom because many have these desires and fantasies but our experiences and rational thought makes us believce them to be fantasy and never a reality. 

So... are there things that you found shocking to find as a reality or found to be a relief for yourself as you found things that you fantasize about to be a reality out their in the lifestyle community?  Are there some things that you fantasize about that you have difficulty believing can be a reality?  What re some of things you have done that broke the barrier from disbelief to belief in many of the things that occur in this lifestyle?  What other thoughts do you have?

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 10:53:37 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

found to be a relief for yourself as you found things that you fantasize about to be a reality out their in the lifestyle community? 


At 21, when I found out there was a name for WIITWD and there were other people doing it, I was so relieved.   Not to find out that I wasn't alone in my desires, but that if there were other people interested in the same things, it would be a bit easier to find people to play with!
 

quote:

What re some of things you have done that broke the barrier from disbelief to belief in many of the things that occur in this lifestyle?  What other thoughts do you have?


I've done a few things that have made other people say "WTF?"  I love those things because they stretch the bounds of the imagination.  I like hearing about those kinds of things from others as well.  It can, at times, feed my creativity.



_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 11:38:16 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Overall, there's been nothing that people do to one another that has surprised me. Perhaps it has to do with having so many people around me either in the military or law enforcement. I've either heard, or seen, it all. Some of it even involved people I knew well.

I think for me, the biggest, "Oh wow, cool!" was to find out that people do this stuff for enjoyment on both sides of the equasion. I understood the thrill for the top/dominant side, but I was so excited to find out that there were bottoms/submissives that enjoyed being on the other side. That was so freeing for me.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 12/14/2008 11:39:02 AM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 11:41:43 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

It seems for many that what some do in this lifestyle is unbelievable or just plain fantasy to others. 


Yeah, there are plenty of things that people swear to be true about themselves, and their dynamics, that I find unbelievable and fantastical. 

quote:


It's not so much a negative thing, but our own experinces make it difficult to understand or appreciate some of the things that actually occur. 


I guess that depends upon how you ascertain what "actually" occurs.

quote:


For some it is rather shocking and even a sense of freedom gained when what seemed unbelievable or just plain fantasy is a reality. 


It's been a long time since I've been shocked in this manner.

quote:


We find this freedom because many have these desires and fantasies but our experiences and rational thought makes us believce them to be fantasy and never a reality. 


It depends upon what is being portrayed as a reality. 

quote:


So... are there things that you found shocking to find as a reality or found to be a relief for yourself as you found things that you fantasize about to be a reality out their in the lifestyle community? 


Not particularly.

quote:


Are there some things that you fantasize about that you have difficulty believing can be a reality? 


Many things can be fantasized that cannot (or should not) be realized.  The imagination knows no boundary, whereas there are many in reality.

quote:


What re some of things you have done that broke the barrier from disbelief to belief in many of the things that occur in this lifestyle?  What other thoughts do you have?


That different people can be happy and fulfilled in so many different relationship dynamics, many of which were contrary to what society had taught me to be "true".
 
John

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Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 12:39:51 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		I've never been shocked by what other people do, but, there have been things that have made me go "a-ha" and things that have taken a while for me to get my head round and things that have made me very uncomfortable.

I also never had that feeling of "relief" that others talked about when they found that other people did this too.  That's a knowledge that was innate to me, it was more of a shock to discover French people don't secretly speak English in their heads but actually *think* in *French*  (I still remember discovering that and how weird that was).  I did have a feeling of things clicking into place when I stopped thinking and fretting and started doing, though.  I guess I'm trying to say that WIITWD was never a fantasy to me, but something I always knew was real and practiced.

There are things I think about doing that I have difficulty seeing myself do in reality, but then, I think that's true of a lot of areas of my life.  I have difficulty seeing myself raising kids, I have difficulty seeing myself spending 3 months touring the US in a beaten up old car, I have difficulty seeing myself going to uni next year...  All these things will happen though, when the time is right.  Kink wise, it's not so much acts of kink that I see myself finding difficult, but having the relationship in which they occur.  This "interpersonal relationship" lark being something I've never done well.  "Does not play well with others" was a comment my psych came up with, I'm inclined to agree.

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 3:25:00 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I hear some people keep bottoms caged all weekend.  But, I ain't buying none of that florida swampland! :)

Seriously, not much has really surprised me as in "I can't believe people do that!"  I learned about this stuff when I was pretty young from reading pornography.  I was young enough to assume that penthouse letters were real! 

Of course, a lot of things disturb me.  And, I'm the first to quietly exit the dungeon when they do.

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 4:04:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Rape play was one for me.  A friend recently came to understand how a play rape scene can be healthy, I'm not quite sure she gets how all rape scenes can work yet though, but that's ok.

The other was open polyamory.  Took awhile to realize that would be a possibility.

Mostly it's exposure.  I'm actually not that terribly creative or active in pushing boundaries and much more tend to go with the flow and see where life takes me.  It just so happens that life tends to take me over "the edge" a lot of times.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 5:51:04 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I pretty well unshockable, in fact in some ways I'm probably somewhat blasé about what I see or hear. A bad case of "Been there, done that or seen that".. Just the result of living a life which many folks would find hard to believe were the story told.. 

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Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 5:57:45 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		I'm not shocked by some of the more extreme realities in BDSM.  I was when I first started exploring a few years ago - the fact that someone might get off on/need being whipped bloody and that someone would actually do it ... needle play ... some knife play.  It all seemed a little fantasy-based for me until I met and interacted with people who enjoyed this, and then read more and came to understand my own pain needs- this helped me wrap my mind around it and just accept.

The thing that opened my mind most, though, is the fact that I experienced a lot of things myself, mostly the emotional connection I felt during my first M/s relationship.  The first time I knelt for him and really *felt* that connection ... it all started clicking into place - sort of an 'ah-ha' moment for me.  I'd thought it'd feel silly or like I was playacting, but it felt real and deep - so if something on that basic a level felt that way, imagine the connection and emotions felt during other activities. 



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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 6:54:12 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I remember the first time I walked into a bdsm club there was a demonstration on, a male submissive was being suspended from hooks pierced through his skin in different areas of his body. It was like the most awesome thing I'd ever seen, shocking, but awesome. I think it was from then I had a fascination with needles, never been suspended like he was but needleplay to me now is like so hot..I could never have imagined I would love it so much.

I guess too on a relationship level, I could never have imagined I could be in master/slave relationship and get all those things I loved about abusive relationships without the abuse...

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Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 7:15:44 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

...So... are there things that you found shocking to find as a reality...


That's easy... Finally meeting a dominant female from this site face to face... I mean, who ever thought any these women were actually real?


< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 12/14/2008 7:16:28 PM >

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E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 7:34:07 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
...So... are there things that you found shocking to find as a reality...

That's easy... Finally meeting a dominant female from this site face to face... I mean, who ever thought any these women were actually real?


I'm still highly skeptical

Dominant Women who aren't subs/vanilla in "real life", don't need to get paid for it, and have a genuine streak of sexual sadism... Every once in a while I see Internet claims that they exist, but *really*? Naaaaah.


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-and the few still remember passion over rage-

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/14/2008 7:38:32 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste

quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
...So... are there things that you found shocking to find as a reality...

That's easy... Finally meeting a dominant female from this site face to face... I mean, who ever thought any these women were actually real?


I'm still highly skeptical

Dominant Women who aren't subs/vanilla in "real life", don't need to get paid for it, and have a genuine streak of sexual sadism... Every once in a while I see Internet claims that they exist, but *really*? Naaaaah.



I know! I was so shocked I nearly called the Air Force and reported the incident... Next time, I promise I'll get some video footage or at least a photo...



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E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/15/2008 12:53:10 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Seeing pony play in real life for the first time was pretty amazing.  Especially because the slave had the mind-set and mannerisms for the role.  He looked very studly pulling his mistress around in a cart.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/15/2008 2:59:05 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm too cynical to be shocked by anything people say or do, except for bigotry. That I'm never expecting and always offended by. And yes, I do believe some people live in a fantasy land, denying the reality of what's really going on. But that doesn't shock me, people are good at living in denial, and frequently happier like that too.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/15/2008 9:01:39 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I still get shocked and look forward to even more.

Realizing that most of those who seemed so extreme were in fact not and that those who seemed so blase were in fact sometimes far more extreme.  That was a real awakening for me and it took my leaving the scene for many years and returning to have the perspective to understand that.

I created a rather nasty cane from a rose bush as a sort of advertising piece knowing the shock value it would have.  I had no idea some wonderfully sick fuck would actually use the thing  and even a bit more shocked at how much his well balanced partner would love it.

I am stunned to see "kids" like LA and MadRabbit be so irritatingly mature and violate all my preconceived notions. 

LA and a few others here have altered how I see some of the extremes, I was like Rover, a doubter of many things, but there are things I once doubted exist but no longer do.

I was shocked when a dear friend of mine took 508 needles at Folsom Fringe.  Didn't see it, didn't want to see it, don't ever want to see it.  I am also shocked that I have discovered a mild interest in needle play once I discovered the potential for artistry in it.

I am shocked that there are women out there who desire to be cuckholded just like a man.  I would have laughed if anyone told me women shared that fantasy.

I am often stunned by the things that become a turn on because the right woman whispered it in my ear.

Most off, I am stunned to look back and see the man I once was and humbled by looking into a woman's eyes and seeing the man I am now reflected in them.

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/15/2008 9:15:21 AM   
submittous


Posts: 345
Joined: 6/12/2004
Status: offline 		With a PhD in Human Sexuality it is rare to be shocked by what people do sexually, but what is often a shock to us is how judgemental some folks in the bdsm world are about what it is others need or want. We'd of  thought that since what almost all of us need is rejected by main stream society and we know how it feels to be "outcast" that we'd be more tolerant of the others on this and other sites.... but it seems that isn't the case all the time.

Bill and Linda

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"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving

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RE: Can you believe it???!!! - 12/15/2008 12:48:07 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Looking back at my life and attitudes from 6-7 years ago, I swore that I'd never submit and be a slave to any man. Three years ago I found my attitude doing a total change and a year later I was living as a slave to a Master. Now having that understanding about myself and undergoing a complete mindset changeover, I find that there is very little that shocks me, especially seeing how my own life has gone in a direction I swire would never happen!

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Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

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