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HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 8:36:13 PM   
kinkienesss


Posts: 198
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		Hey all I'm trying to write a story and i  need a little bit of help in making my attempted rape scene seem realistic and i just cant seem to make it click any help any of you could offer would be much appreciated.

ty
kinkienesss


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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 8:51:36 PM   
xxblushesxx


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Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Walk away from it for a while and work on something else.

When you come back, you need to feel how all of your characters are feeling, and think what they might be thinking.

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 8:57:21 PM   
kinkienesss


Posts: 198
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		ive tried tha it still seems to be missing sometingand i just cant seem to put my finger on it 

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My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 9:00:54 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		There have been times when I had to step away from it for a while.  Then one day it just clicks.  I will sometimes watch a movie or do research that might enlighten me in an area I don't know so well.  It's funny what can trigger things.  But mostly I tend to wake up from sleep, just knowing what it is and there I am at the computer.

It almost sounds like you need feedback from someone reading what you have.  Then they might see what might be going on and help.  Try to find someone that is willing and who will give you honest answers with an agreement that you don't have to take their direction. lol

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 9:03:22 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Are you trying to avoid putting too much of yourself in it?
Does this subject bring up issues you'd rather not face?

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 9:05:00 PM   
kinkienesss


Posts: 198
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		no it dosent bring up issues for me  but when i read the scene over it just seems i dont know staged or somehow forced

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My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!

Marquis De Sade

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 9:22:33 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		forced, huh?

this is a rape scene right?

sounds right.

seriously, put your story in a drawer somewhere and walk away. give it a week or two. you will wake up one day with the answer. (or one night in the middle of the night, in which case I suggest jumping out of bed and writing it down. you won't remember, even if you think you will, you won't. trust me)

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 10:03:10 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		That is for sure blushes!  God I hate when that happens!  Now... I have learned, either get up and do it right then or jot down notes.

I tend to write on different projects at the same time.  When I get stuck on one I go to the other and then go back and forth.  Once I was stuck on a storyline problem for a year!  But it came... lol  There were times on a bigger project, I would have so much life going on that it had to be put on hold or I just didn't feel like writing.  Slowly, day by day the desire to write would creep in and then get stronger and I knew one day I wouldn't be able to stop myself.  Then it's day and night... consumed in charactors and plots until I get to a place where I need to set it aside or get into more research and go again.  Sometimes you forget to eat or want to see anything but what's going on with your new family. lol

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 11:01:41 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		".....as he put the gun to my head I could feel the cold hard steel against my temple."
"He said; did you ever see that show "survivor?"
"If I pull the trigger you won't survive that will you?"
"His breath was bad. It smelled like a 3 day old Greek pizza that the cat pissed on."

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 11:18:57 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
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Status: offline 		LOL Popeye...

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/7/2008 11:26:41 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Would reading crime reports help, by any chance?

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/8/2008 4:28:41 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		easy.. drive past the bank.

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/8/2008 4:41:59 AM   
LumusandtheLady


Posts: 1926
Joined: 11/1/2008
Status: offline 		Lumus has written and posted a rape scene over in P&RS in the past. Here's a link to His story and feel free to CMail Him for help if needed. He's written a number of short stories and novels. He's posted some of His work in P&RS as well.

Rain


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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/8/2008 5:36:05 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		nifty.org

some writing there

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/8/2008 5:40:53 AM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		You might want to get someone else to read it and see if they are seeing the same thing you are. I know when I write I am usually super critical of myself. I will hate scenes I wrote that others read and love, because in my head I thought something was missing to make it just right. Hearing someone elses opinion will often help me see what they see, whether they think it is better or worse than I did.

DV


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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/8/2008 8:34:40 AM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Kinkieness, you could invite PaHunk and me over to the house for a couple of uh,....."dry runs" to show you how to make your story more realistic.

P.S. Ok, well maybe PaHunk could "assist" me.

< Message edited by popeye1250 -- 12/8/2008 8:52:05 AM >

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"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/8/2008 11:14:24 AM   
kinkienesss


Posts: 198
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		Crime reports ... i never thought of that ... oh wait i did i just don't have access to any

Sry always the brat couldn't help it :P


_____________________________

My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!

Marquis De Sade

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/8/2008 11:18:20 AM   
kinkienesss


Posts: 198
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		lol id love to take u up on that offer but i think my grandmother with who i live would object



_____________________________

My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!

Marquis De Sade

(in reply to kinkienesss)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/8/2008 12:19:53 PM   
kinkienesss


Posts: 198
Joined: 3/22/2008
Status: offline 		ok i wasn't gonna do this but here goes I'm gonna post a paragraph of my story up here to see what u all think it supposed to be my attempted rape/rape scene let me know what u think.... be brutal... but not too brutal i bruise easily :P

"No please leave me alone! why are you doing this to me?"Skyler screamed."  "Sorry honey but someone paid to have you dead, I figure why not have a little fun while I'm at it ." Neil Crougar was a  professional hit man who took his job very seriously. He just couldn't seem to keep his hands off of the hot little thing that was supposed to be his next paycheck. At 5'5", 115 there wasn't much that petite Skyler Lawrence could do.  Neil ought weighed her by about 100lbs and over 10 inches taller. Skyler screamed until her throat was raw, as she felt him undoing her pants,  slowly sliding them down her legs.Skyler considered making a grab for the gun, it was her only chance at survival.  If she was going to make a grab for it, it had to be now. "Please I'll so cooperate just don't hurt me."  "shut up you stupid girl! I'm going to have my way with you then, I'm gonna drag u so far into these woods that no one will ever find u. Then you will really have something to scream about." Neil snarled at her.Skyler could feel every pebble, stone and twig pressing into her delicate ivory skin and could imagine what type of bruising shed have if she somehow managed to get out of this alive.Thinking back to the self defense classes she had taken at the local gym she remembered all the sensitive spots to hit on a male attacker, she just couldn't seem to pluck up the courage to move. "Now lets get this party started baby!"said Neil drawing out a large and very sharp looking hunters knife. The moon light glinted off the deadly blade showing its slightly serrated top. Grabbing the front of Skyler's favorite top he began to slice her clothing off cutting closer to the skin with each swipe of the blade.Knowing that it was now or never Skyler grabbed the gun form the back of Neil's jeans, and hit Neil in the head as hard as she could. Then seeing that Neil was only semi-conscious Skyler ran as fast and as hard as she could barely noticing the stones and twigs cutting her feet. Knowing she only had minutes before Neil would realize what had happened and come looking for her Skyler knew she had to find a safe place to hide from him



P.S. feel free to suggest revisions additions and deletions





_____________________________

My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!

Marquis De Sade

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RE: HELP FOR A STORY - 12/8/2008 12:30:39 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		".....and after Neil Cruegar had her securely tied down to the table he left the room.
After about 20 minutes the door opened and she turned her head to see,...dun, dun, dun,.....BILL CLINTON!!!

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to kinkienesss)
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