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RE: need advice on communication - 11/30/2008 12:56:56 PM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		I find nothing funny now, because what has now been revealed constitutes assault.

You need more than some well placed words, you need some real, physical help, legal or not.

T

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: need advice on communication - 11/30/2008 2:07:12 PM   
Real_Trouble


Posts: 471
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		To roughly quote Al Capone:

"You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone."


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Send lawyers, guns, and money.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: need advice on communication - 11/30/2008 2:07:26 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Def, if this person is hindering your life- your goals, dreams aspirations.  then you really dont have a choice but to remove said person from your life.  if you are going to take a hit -cut your losses and be done with it.   emotional taunting can render a person inactionable.

so  "I am terminating our relationship". there.  it is done.   if you want, you can tell the idiot  that under strict orders from me, that you are to take a break for said man so as to re-evaluate if you will have any further contact with him.
//
...lately  I been bad with people who are distracted when they phone me.

Jim interrupts to tell his cat something.  My brother called me to see how it is going- knowing in 2 minutes he was going to the paint store.  If someone calls me, I think I should be afforded 10 minutes of no interrupt chat.  and if not- then I think I need to apply my own advice here!

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: need advice on communication - 11/30/2008 5:16:29 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I guess shooting him is out of the question, aye?

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: need advice on communication - 11/30/2008 7:37:20 PM   
MistresseLotus


Posts: 443
Joined: 9/19/2008
From: (aka LotusSong)
Status: offline 		I'd hold up a finger and say "Excuse me.." then walk away.. leaving them wondering.  When they see you again, they'll ask "What was THATall about"?  Then tell them.

_____________________________

I leave it to the 20-somethings to do the "open-minded, total unconditional acceptance thing" for it's how THEY learn that all the things others older than they have deemed BS, are in fact BS. What a waste of a decade.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: need advice on communication - 11/30/2008 7:44:13 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		I work with a total idiot like this. Not much i can do. I do get exasperated and make a comment but he just doesn't get it and shouts loudly. It isn't just me he has a problem with lots of people. I feel bad for those that have to listen to his drivel about his health, his problems and anything he can think of under the sun. I have thought about telling him to shut up but then he would go running to the Union.
Because my office has the large refrigerator i have to put a headset on when he comes in to put his stuff away. Everybody uses the refrigerator. He is well known throughout work for being a um nut. He is a total pain in the ass and the office is suffering for it. Nobody in the office can stand him.  Many people feel he should be committed. I think he is so bad that he will go "postal" one day or kill himself. I just hope nobody else will be in his path. I am not the only person that feels he will lose it someday.
I have heard others say that he has gone off on other people. I just wish somebody would write a formal complaint to get him out of here but that is like asking hell to freeze over!

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: need advice on communication - 12/1/2008 5:42:16 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		.. try not to use the trigger words that set the guy off. find other wording?   if it making you feel better, shrpen all the kitchen knives....   ms bobbit.  lol

(in reply to winterlight)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: need advice on communication - 12/1/2008 7:28:35 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I agree with what some others have said.
I am a member of several legal forums, and I clearly remember a lady dealing with one possibly even worse than yours. (you don't want to know.)
She finally set it up where pick up and drop off were done at the police station, and she only communicates with him through email.
If he says something that gets her going, she knows to walk away from the email until she can calm down.
An order of protection would be a good idea; as would letting him meet some big, protective friends of yours...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: need advice on communication - 12/1/2008 7:55:50 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		I have got such a neighbour for years now. Shits his own diapers continually, in a figure of speech, and is not able to go on a potty; in other words he is a big baby. Luckily my neighbour is not violent, though he may give such an impression. Usually I let him run down. Communication is easier when he has not been drinking. Occasionally I say: "You have told me that three - or twenty - times already" and then he may shut up for a moment. Infrequently I take command of the conversation and that usually works as well.
 
My perception of my neighbour is that he is that talkative and unmannered because nobody ever listened to him. He feels that he has no voice and therefore keeps talking, desperate to be heard. (He ain't the smartest - and that is expressing it mildly.) Of course by his behaviour he unfortunately ensures that everybody ignores him and whatever inanities he wants to say, so he is caught in a reiterating loop.
 
Recognize any of that?

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: need advice on communication - 12/1/2008 8:00:46 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Why is it necessary to communicate with him?

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: need advice on communication - 12/1/2008 8:47:30 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Yes angel, I was wondering the same thing. "not dealing with him is not an option". There are only so many possibilities, a cellmate in prison, someone who is paying the bills or something like that. You can get rid of pretty much anyone else.

I just took it at face value to mean that it would be difficult to get rid of this person, and there are more scenarios which I could never enumerate in one post. Still a valid question though.

T

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: need advice on communication - 12/1/2008 8:50:11 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		"How do you communicate with someone..."
The answer to the question is rather dependent on the nature of the specific relationship...or so it seems to me.

(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: need advice on communication - 12/1/2008 12:45:02 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Walk out of the room, hang up the phone. Don't tolerate it.

If you get pinned against a wall, held against your will, then immediately after call the police and charge him with every possible thing. Assault, harassment, violation of civil liberties.

In the meantime, have your lawyer send him a cease and desist letter.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: need advice on communication - 12/1/2008 6:05:58 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Legal: contact via a lawyer or the police.

Not legal: a baseball bat, preferably attached to male companion

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also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
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(in reply to Termyn8or)
Profile   Post #: 34
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