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RE: Self Improvement for Dominants - 12/1/2008 3:47:07 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Any time I have given her instructions that she fails to fulfill, the responsibility (or irresponsibility) is hers... not mine.  If I tell her to have dinner ready at six and it's not, that's on her.  If I tell her to wear the red panties and she does not, that's on her.  If she has been trained to make my coffee to my taste and she does not, that's on her.  If I tell her to mail my nephew's birthday gift by Wednesday in order for him to receive it on time and she does not, that's on her.  If I instruct her on what constitutes acceptable behavior and she misbehaves, that's on her.


Not to be picky.. but I am going to be.

I don't particularly agree with these examples.. maybe because they are more simplistic than situations usually are.

For example.  You tell her to have dinner at six and she doesn't.  Is it really her fault when you called her at 05:59pm to have it ready.

Things like this is why I presented the idea of DOMS (Direction, Opportunity, Motivation, Skill)  It is just a process to help establishing responsibility of what went wrong when a failure has occurred.  I believe to often those that are barking commands are too quick to shift the responsibily of failure to the obedient servant when the command is not obeyed.  Poor Dirrection, Lack of Opportunity to succeed, No motivation for the task and Insufficient skills for the task are all reasons for failure.. sometimes that responsibility rests with the Dominants.. sometimes the submissive.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Self Improvement for Dominants - 12/1/2008 4:16:55 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Any time I have given her instructions that she fails to fulfill, the responsibility (or irresponsibility) is hers... not mine.  If I tell her to have dinner ready at six and it's not, that's on her.  If I tell her to wear the red panties and she does not, that's on her.  If she has been trained to make my coffee to my taste and she does not, that's on her.  If I tell her to mail my nephew's birthday gift by Wednesday in order for him to receive it on time and she does not, that's on her.  If I instruct her on what constitutes acceptable behavior and she misbehaves, that's on her.


Not to be picky.. but I am going to be.

I don't particularly agree with these examples.. maybe because they are more simplistic than situations usually are.

For example.  You tell her to have dinner at six and she doesn't.  Is it really her fault when you called her at 05:59pm to have it ready.

Things like this is why I presented the idea of DOMS (Direction, Opportunity, Motivation, Skill)  It is just a process to help establishing responsibility of what went wrong when a failure has occurred.  I believe to often those that are barking commands are too quick to shift the responsibily of failure to the obedient servant when the command is not obeyed.  Poor Dirrection, Lack of Opportunity to succeed, No motivation for the task and Insufficient skills for the task are all reasons for failure.. sometimes that responsibility rests with the Dominants.. sometimes the submissive.


Ummm.... I called at 5:59 AM and instructed her to have dinner on the table at 6:00 PM.  Sheesh, we could play "what if" all day long to no one's benefit.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Self Improvement for Dominants - 12/1/2008 4:30:08 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Ummm.... I called at 5:59 AM and instructed her to have dinner on the table at 6:00 PM.  Sheesh, we could play "what if" all day long to no one's benefit.
 
John


I'm chuckling to myself here. Anyone can have dinner ready in a minute's time. It may not be a dinner you like, but hey it's dinner and my part is done!

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Self Improvement for Dominants - 12/1/2008 4:41:06 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

Ummm.... I called at 5:59 AM and instructed her to have dinner on the table at 6:00 PM.  Sheesh, we could play "what if" all day long to no one's benefit.
 
John


I'm chuckling to myself here. Anyone can have dinner ready in a minute's time. It may not be a dinner you like, but hey it's dinner and my part is done!


Good point!!  So there's no good excuse if she doesn't.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 44
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