RE: Luck (Full Version)

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antipode -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 8:44:39 AM)

quote:

n fact, seeking a permanent relationship from using this site


I don't have that set an aim... I know that just like in the real world [;)] you find a permanent relationship when you find one, it comes to you, you don't shop for it. Then there is the question of your definition of permanent. I relish the process of finding a new person, they usually last a few years, then everybody moves on, and the search begins anew. I am too interested in people, in the endless variety of the human race, I could never in a million years restrict my sphere of interest in the way you do, excluding 98% of all people from my search right up front. I have reduced my exposure a bit, recently, by resigning from a couple of other sites I had subscriptions for, as the amount of effort required to weed out the trolls is just too great, too time consuming, and it makes no difference any more whether one has a paid subscription or not.



hejira92 -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 10:51:26 AM)

I was a dilettante in bedroom submission when I found out about this site 3 years ago, posted a profile and met my first master within a few days. That lasted just under 6 months, but I learned an awful lot about slavery/submission and what I was, wanted and needed.
 
I picked myself, dusted myself off and re-opened my profile after that fiasco (actually, it was one last hurrah before I gave this up as a failed excursion into BDSM), and contacted a local Dom with an interesting profile that discussed mind play. 2 1/2 years later, we are deliriously happy, living the real thing- a 24/7 authority transfer dynamic (or whatever name you prefer) and just a month ago, Master and I have exchanged comittment rings.



charly303 -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 11:27:56 AM)

I've had no luck using this site so far, although I haven't put a massive amount of faith or effort into it. I haven't really used the forums though which is where you tend to meet people - I think its very difficult to really get anything going simply from an ad. Most people I've met have been through chance or from going out to fetish nights. I did however end up subbing to a couple a few years ago who I met though bondage.com.



persephonee -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 11:35:26 AM)

~FR~
i dont know if i have been successful in the "traditional" sense of the word...i suppose that would be collared. However, that is not what i came here to do in the end...[:D]loathe as i am to say it[:D]....i agree with Antipode in that a relationship is something that comes to you and not something to shop for...(Antipode...you know i think youre the sexiest man on CM...eyes lowered....)

i came to learn and make good friends...all of which i have done and it all began the day i showed up here. So im grateful for what i have and await the future when i remember to do so...it comes to me whether im looking in that direction or not.



teensub -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 12:09:16 PM)

I found my master within about a month of being on the site

I think i was very lucky in finding him. We have now been together just over a year..



antipode -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 12:56:28 PM)

quote:

Antipode...you know i think youre the sexiest man on CM


Thank you thank you.. it is my humble lot [;)] (why is it that after you move, former neighbours - well, next state over, I used to live in Westchester County, NY - pipe up?)



masterlink65 -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 12:59:40 PM)

i have been on here for over a year. i have written several slaves, who say they can relocate, they are looking to be owned, etc.etc. i have yet to get a reply back.


this site has yielded nothing so far. i have found my slaves from other sources, but nothing good has come from this site



ExKat -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 1:07:04 PM)

 I met Ex in September 2007, joined in late August. He joined in January 2007. Luck definitely had something to do with things.

Of course, now we're back searching, but that's a different story.



hermione83 -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 1:14:25 PM)

Thanks for all the posts -good luck to those who haven't, and YAY woo to those who have! =D

If anyone has some experience with other sites as mentioned I should be trying, I'd appreciate an email on CM with the link.. I would say that I'm not having much luck here. I've met two people in person from this site, talked to a bazillion others... One of the two I met in person was actually a virgin, and we're friends now, however, we just are not meant to be. Anywho, I didn't know my profile sounded so much like I was ready to go ten rounds, lol, though that is accurate to how I feel a lot of times, I tried to cut my profile down to as small as possible... it was so much longer before. Not sure what I said that was scary. :( (I like constructive criticism......especially if its more specific hehe) I've gotten referrals to eharmony so many times because everyone thinks because I'm a good girl that I am vanilla but I wasn't approved because I'm too weird to match... And the Christian sites.. well, taken in hand is awesome, but it has no way of meeting others at all or any communications... and the other ones, well they are all tiny, and just message board styles, without interets or searchable profiles or specifics like this site. I'd have to sit there and interview each person, and I really like scanning interests then moving on or contacting them because we click. I hate wasting my time. I tried that, but it was just way too hard. And anyway, all the people I found on those sites were either a) old, divorced, republicans usually with children or b) maybe near my age - but wanted a truckload of kids (and were still republican). And usually they were only about spanking. The type that thinks anal play with your wife is a sin and so is not having kids. Anyway, I'm an oddball mix. Not sure where I'd fit in. I'm definitely Christian, but I'm also kind of a socialist with a weird point of view, loves pets but dislikes children... and is certainly more kinky and slave-like, than just a domestic submissive type. Though I have some of the traditional stuff mixed in, sort of.. I mean, I'm a good cook, but I'm not a bubble of positivity..that's for sure. I'm a bit DPD (dependent personality disorder). I seek a sort of "unhealthy" obsession and complete dependence/codependence thing.. with him being the healthier of us, and him pushing me to be a bit more independent... well, maybe after enjoying the whole dependent thing for a while... Nevermind, lol. I also like to babble.. This site has been the only site I've TALKED to potentials anyway. The people that said they were what I wanted, surprise surprise, were seriously messed up along with it. I want a kinky version of my brother. Good, smart, and normal, mostly... Not so much a psycho serial.. whatever, or a complete idiot who doesn't really understand why they are dominant.... Ya know?



kyraofMists -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 2:41:45 PM)

Four years ago yesterday, I came across the nick 'KnightofMists' in a chatroom on another site.  It was the first time I had ever been in a chat room and within the first week that I had signed up on that site.  We started chatting and emailing.  Eventually we met face to face and about a year ago I immigrated to Canada and moved into his house with him and Alandra.

I think it was a matter of being in the right place at the right time and making the choices required to build a relationship between us. 

Knight's Kyra



moonvine -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 3:13:03 PM)

Another thing I can say is that since less than 50% of anyone I write ever answers me back..maybe closer to 25%....the time it would take to answer all those questions that you have in your profile would be completely offputting to me (for an initial email that may or may not even get a response), and I'm a sub.....

The more restrictions you put on something, the longer it will take to find what you seek.

Good luck on your search:)



kristileigh -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 3:14:48 PM)

i met Master Chris back in February after being online for a very short time W/we have been 24/7 since August.[sm=yesmaster.gif]



MidMichCowboy -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 3:29:44 PM)

Who says there is someone out there that is a match for you. I don't necessarily believe there is someone who is a match for me.

You do have some very specific criteria to be met. What are the odds that person exists? What are the odds he would be on CM?

I don't believe that fate will provide someone for everyone. I've seen too many people die alone. There is no master plan to match everyone up. Remember, we were given freedom and choice. That means we live in a chaotic world.

I hate to sound pessimistic, but I am realistic. Will I ever find someone who will match me in my wants and needs? I don't know. But I won't blame a site or the world. I may look at myself and see if I'm demanding too much. I may understand that the conditions of my life, mean I will be alone. But, don't blame the world. The world gives us choices. Yours is to hold out for the male opposite of you. So how unique are you?



cravesdom -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 3:30:17 PM)

I joined CM at the end of March and met several Doms that interested me. They didn't work out though for one reason or another. Then I stumbled across the man I am now head over heels in love with in July and we are taking it slow, but working toward being together full time as soon as it is right for us.

Good luck with your search! You never know when and where you might stumble upon the person for you.



BlindDescent -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 3:45:04 PM)

I find that too many people on all sides of the coin, focus on the end point far too deeply. It seems to jinx the majority of fledgling relationships. Too much pressure to make things work is a recipie for disaster. It is going to work or not. It is going to evolve or not...regardless of which realm you live in.
Take the pressure off yourself and breathe. Create a dynamic energy field around yourself.You may find you are far more desirable by being fluid; rather than rigidly focused. I have had several relationships here of varying lengths. My longest was not from here. My second longest has been from here. Every person I have met and touched, has been a significant moment. It is what you make it to be. Fantasy is good to make your menu list...reality is a bit more unpredictable. Honesty of each person's real goals and expectations have a lot to do with what happens next. But we all know how difficult it is to see in to the future.



Venatrix -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 4:36:48 PM)

I've been on the site almost exactly a year.  I'm taking a break until after the new year, then plan to be a lot more open to both local and long-distance relationships.  I thought I'd encountered someone very promising with whom I've been corresponding for several months (not yet met in real life), but I'm starting to have second thoughts about it.  It will to a large extent depend on what he offers in the near future.  Best of luck to all!



marie2 -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 4:58:18 PM)

I've been here I think for around 2.5-3 yrs.  I've met 4 males from this site.  Two of them I had relationships with, the other two, I didn't feel any click with.  I've remained friends with all but one of them who makes it impossible to feel anything but disdain for him.  Three out of four is pretty good odds, even though nothing turned out to be what I would call "long term".  Most of the time I'm not looking and don't keep a profile up.  Currently I'm in search mode, but oftentimes I get tired of it and will take a break for a while.  All in all, I think this site is a good place to make connections.



DesFIP -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 6:55:53 PM)

I met him on bondage.com back when they still had email for free users, five years ago. He had been looking for several years, I was new to the site. He sent me a one liner, I replied with two. Inside of a couple of days we were sending several long emails daily. We clicked amazingly well, still do.

The important thing is that I didn't start looking until I had nailed down exactly what I was looking for. I turned down any and all sadists because I'm into bondage and sex, not pain. Turned down anybody with the slightest condescension, anyone who claimed the first thing they would do would be break one of my hard limits because they thought it was a foolish limit. I'll freely agree that it is, for anyone who doesn't get a panic attack at the thought.

Turned down lots of guys who claimed they could decide what was best for me without knowing me. I've known myself all my life, I am the expert on being me. Anyone who decided they could do better without even meeting me was someone I didn't want.

I had a laundry list as long as my arm and I waited till I found someone compatible. I would not have settled, I would much prefer to have been alone then in a relationship that didn't and couldn't work.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 9:11:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hermione83

Out of curiosity, how many of you who are in fact, seeking a permanent relationship from using this site have/have not found it - and how long have you been here (if you've given it a good try). Please don't answer if you're in the process. I'm just curious how many found exactly what they wanted - and how long it took, or those who have been here a while (how long?) and are pretty much giving up on finding on here. Thanks=)


I've been here for a little over three years.  The people I've met have all brought something positive to me.  Some have shown me what it is that I need and want in a relationship and some have shown me what I don't need and don't want.  I learned more about myself from both types.  I consider myself pretty fucking lucky at the moment.



hermione83 -> RE: Luck (11/9/2008 9:22:04 PM)

I'm not requiring people answer them in a first email - I just want people to say at least like I skimmed it, and I might be those things, or just not bother writing to me if they're not it. But people mostly ignore it and I get my hopes up if they don't say=\



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