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RE: sibling issues - 11/7/2008 9:55:32 PM

rexrgisformidoni

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I'd punch him in the face.

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RE: sibling issues - 11/7/2008 10:27:54 PM

hizgeorgiapeach

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Gah, Nymph - from the sound of things, you're going through the same sort of hellishness in the family that I faced for so many years concerning MY brother. He definately comes across as having the same attitude concerning his *ehem* recreational *ehem* habits.

Don't count on your parents actually suceeding in having any effect on his habits. Do prepare yourself for a bit of hellish nightmare reaction from him when they have that talk with him, even if they wait in an attempt to keep him from realizing that you are the one who originally brought it up.

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RE: sibling issues - 11/8/2008 4:39:17 AM

thishereboi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

Well, I let my parents know, and they said that they'd talk to him about it another day so it didn't look like I said anything.

I understand why they don't want me to tell the cops. My brother already has a hit and run, a DUI, and 2 totaled cars on his record. He managed to get the DUI just a week before his 21st birthday.

He doesn't need anything else.

I'd like to (someday) see him suffer the consequences of his actions. My parents are really working hard to get him off the hook for his DUI... and since he ran from the hit and run, no one knew that he was drunk when that happened as well.

I just wish he'd be respectful of me, and not smoke in the house. I'd prefer not at all, but at least when I'm here.

Living with a sibling can be very hard. At this point all I can say is get out of the situation as soon as possible. You are not responsible for his actions and need to concentrate on your self and stop worrying about him. From the highlighted bit above and other things you have said in this thread, I think you have a lot of issues with your brother and the way your parents have treated him. Living with him is not going to help that, so the quicker you get out, the faster you can start worrying about your own life.

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RE: sibling issues - 11/8/2008 1:51:36 PM

HisNani

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Joined: 11/3/2008
From: Maryland
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Wow...he sounds like my brother. Doing things he shouldn't and my parents don't even know what to do anymore. All I get from him is usually "fuck off", too.

I say call the cops next time. The non-emergency number. Don't threaten him with it, just do it. Your brother shouldn't be how he is, and honestly, he needs a wake up call. You're not joking around. You know why he tells you to fuck off? Cause he knows you're a pushover. He knows that you'll go to your parents, who'll do NADA and that he won't get into trouble anyway. So he has to see that you are serious about making him stop. He acts already like he hates you, so what do you have to lose if he screams it at you later? Besides, I think it's possible for them to come investigate without being all "your sister called us and told us you were smoking pot."

And, random factoid here, all pot stinks but the sweeter the smell, the better quality the pot. If it REALLY reeks (which, some of it REALLY does) then it's really cheap crap anyway, which means he has to smoke more more often to get a decent high.

...Why do I know this?...

Also...secondhand pot smoke, seriously unlikely to show up on a drug test. I had roomies that CONSTANTLY smoked it in our bathroom and I never had an issue. And this was over a series of months. Ah, that's why I know this.

I hope that helps =)

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RE: sibling issues - 11/8/2008 5:42:23 PM

windchymes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

Well, I let my parents know, and they said that they'd talk to him about it another day so it didn't look like I said anything.

I understand why they don't want me to tell the cops. My brother already has a hit and run, a DUI, and 2 totaled cars on his record. He managed to get the DUI just a week before his 21st birthday.

He doesn't need anything else.

I'd like to (someday) see him suffer the consequences of his actions. My parents are really working hard to get him off the hook for his DUI... and since he ran from the hit and run, no one knew that he was drunk when that happened as well.

I just wish he'd be respectful of me, and not smoke in the house. I'd prefer not at all, but at least when I'm here.

Sounds like this is exactly why your brother is the way he is, I'm sorry to say. He's not going to be respectful of you because he isn't even respectful to himself. Mommy and Daddy will bail him out when he screws up.

I'm afraid you're either in for a hellish four years, or he will flunk out of school in a semester or two and maybe you can move in with a responsible friend or into the dorms. I do wish you the best with your studies!

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RE: sibling issues - 11/9/2008 2:43:39 PM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
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quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

Well, I let my parents know, and they said that they'd talk to him about it another day so it didn't look like I said anything.

I understand why they don't want me to tell the cops. My brother already has a hit and run, a DUI, and 2 totaled cars on his record. He managed to get the DUI just a week before his 21st birthday.

He doesn't need anything else.

I'd like to (someday) see him suffer the consequences of his actions. My parents are really working hard to get him off the hook for his DUI... and since he ran from the hit and run, no one knew that he was drunk when that happened as well.

I just wish he'd be respectful of me, and not smoke in the house. I'd prefer not at all, but at least when I'm here.

looks at rap log...damn you sure your not talking about my middle son? I never bailed him out of chit. told him as a teen you fuck up your pay I will not part with one dime. He didnt listen. His grandmother (my mom) on the other hand jumps right to it, her favorite grandson who he lives with.

Maybe compromise? He agrees to not light up when your home or puts it out if you come home and you agree to ignore it. I would or your parents should stress that apt is not the place to go to hang out and toke.

I went through the kids smoking pot stage..they are going to do it regardless. I was stupid to that, hell I grew up in the 70's where you could get 2 fingers for 10 bucks. So there was a designated area where they could as long as it didnt hit the main living floor. Did I enable probably. But it wore out pretty quickly.

Honestly I figured if they are gonna do it, tis better at home, that being out getting into other trouble because of it.
I personally dont pot is all that evil, booze now thats another story. I have no sympathy for drunks, to include two of my children that are addicated to liquid chit. They dont know what moderations is.

But they are know grown adults in their late 20's regardless its out of my hands.

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RE: sibling issues - 11/9/2008 2:51:05 PM

colouredin

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FR

Sorry i do sometimes fidn it hard to understand other peoples family stuff, calling the police on my brother for smoking pot seems so far away rom someting I would ever do its hard to comprehend, so bearing in mind that we clearly have a differant relationship to the one that you have with yours, I would talk to him, I would say that it made me uncomfortable and to please do it elsewhere to consider my feelings, which he would do, of course the fact that you would have called the police maybe suggests that it may be best to do as others have said and look into moving, clealry you dont have a communicative relationship

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RE: sibling issues - 11/9/2008 2:51:30 PM

theobserver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

I caught my brother smoking pot in our apartment with one of his friends just a minute ago.

I called my parents (we're 21 and 22) to ask them what to do and they told me that if I called the cops they'd kick me out of the apartment.

It's not ok behavior by me, and I've never done drugs myself. Additionally, I'm looking for jobs right now, and if they drug test me, I'm afraid that it would impact my ability to get a job, because I was in the apartment while they were smoking.

What do I do?

I'm gonna leave right now, so that I'm not further exposing myself to it... plus, it smells nasty.

Do you and your brother share the rent expenses and are you both on the lease? You have the right to put him out of the apartment if he is not on the lease. You don't have to give a reason why. However, you might not want to get the police involved when there's a cloud of Mary Jane hovering in your place.

Sit down and explain to your brother that he needs to respect the fact that you live there and do not wish to inhale a cloud of pot smoke. Let him know the consequences if he continues to disrespect your home.

Also, as for effecting any work related drug testing, unless they take a hair sample, you are in the clear. If you are still worried, drink a few nasty glasses of vinegar and you'll be all set.

A more expensive thing to do is to buy some detoxifying tea. Drink it (it's safe) and they also have (detoxifying) shampoo for your hair, so if there's a hair sample test, you'll be in the clear.

Don't ask me how I know this stuff.

< Message edited by theobserver -- 11/9/2008 2:53:15 PM >

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RE: sibling issues - 11/9/2008 3:28:47 PM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

What do I do?

respect your parents wishes...and if you can't live with whatever conditions that they impose with regards to their continued support of you since you have become an adult...move out and support yourself.

best of luck to you.

edited to add: you could also encourage your brother to obtain a prescription and medicate legally...at least that way, when the cops come because a neighbor has complained about the smell, you won't be on the hook, as it would be all on him to deal with the consequences of being a state approved cannabis user medicating somewhere it is not allowed, (if your apartment complex has an established policy regarding medicinal marijuana usage) as well as whatever quantity of medicine in the apartment would be solely HIS responsibility to comply with the state and local guidelines, and not in any way attribitued to you.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 11/9/2008 3:39:45 PM >

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RE: sibling issues - 11/9/2008 8:15:41 PM

SummerWind

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The thought of ratting my brother out to the cops for anything...let alone smoking pot........ is inconceivable....It's just not done in my world of family and close friends....

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