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AStudyInScarlet -> RE: Martial Arts and BDSM (11/5/2008 5:27:25 PM)
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so we're all friends here, i can get personal, right?
we found that it was a natural transition into bdsm for me because of my tkd experience, especially as a switch. one of the main tenets of tkd, as korea has a rigid relationship structure, is giving respect to seniors and juniors. you owe your deference to seniors and always always always obey. even if they might be wrong, they are your superior so you comply and don't point out their error. you come to revere their skill, experience, humility, patience, strength. you almost worship them. on the flip side, you have a responsibility to your juniors. since you are higher ranking and more experienced, you are responsible for them. their safety, their correct training, their errors. if they get hurt, it's your fault. their success depends on your leadership. you honor them for their obedience. above all, you respect them.
i was immediately able to transition into both dominant and submissive roles. i call my master (tkd) "sir" and bow to him out of deep-seated habit and desire to please him, so my boyfriend used that. hell, i have someone i call master! grandmaster to be specific.
as a bodan, i have had plenty of experience training others below me. brag alert: i even taught class while i was still a color belt cause i'm awesome. it takes a kind of control that comes with experience to deliver blows to someone below you, who doesn't have the experience. you have to be hard enough on them so they learn to accept pain. you have to recognize that they might be fearful and resistant at first. you have to reach a delicate balance of controlled violence (sound familiar?). you have to be strict so they become good martial artists. you have to be sensitive to the fact that they respect and sometimes worship you. the parallels are striking (pun intended).
the physicality also lends itself nicely. i've trained my body to give and accept violence. a surprising fact is that most beginners have a bigger problem striking than being struck. you learn to strike with intensity and control. the blow lands exactly where you intended, with exactly the force intended. of course, accepting violence is an important part of training. one drill i hate beyond all things unholy is falling. so i've been made to fall over and over and over again (which i did because i'm obedient). master wants me to be able to fall if it were to happen to me, so i have to practice. so now i can take whatever it thrown at me in the bedroom and i can also give it just as well.
my wonderful boyfriend chose "tapping out" as our safe signal because it is a motion that is second nature to me and i can do without thinking when i'm in trouble. tapping out is what you do when grappling with someone and they have reached your limit. tkd has its own safeword!
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