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RE: Money or ME - 10/27/2008 6:20:38 AM

sub4hire

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I think your answer is going to vary widely by the person who happens to answer it.

As for myself. I had baggage. I took care of every member of my family until they passed away. I did this because I felt it was my duty to be there for them when they could not take care of themselves. I also raised the kids.

I held off getting married until I was free to get married and devote my life entirely to him. Most would not do this. Most would think of themselves before others.

So, other than bringing the trials and tribulations of day to day life. I entered the relationship unburdened. He was there for years prior to marriage. Yet, we didn't have as deep of a commitment as we do now.

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RE: Money or ME - 10/27/2008 11:55:17 AM

akisha

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~FR~

No one over the age of 15 is issue free lol

Master was not perfect when we got together. Nor is he perfect now. Then again neither am i. We both have baggage and self issues. But as for a relationship, we both want the same things now and for future goals, and we can both deal with the other's issues. and most importantly our souls humm in harmony.

Most things in life can be dealt with if you are willing to make the effort.

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RE: Money or ME - 10/27/2008 4:16:07 PM

LATEXBABY64

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but i guess you want to be the most you can be for your self and the one your with

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RE: Money or ME - 10/27/2008 8:59:37 PM

akisha

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lol ofcourse. I'm ambitious and an over achiever. I would never be with someone that didn't have a drive to be better.

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Post #: 24

RE: Money or ME - 10/30/2008 8:46:32 PM

theobserver

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There was a time after I divorced where I said I will not pursue or get involved in any 'relationship' until I got my issues worked out. However as Stella eloquently put it in her post ... people have baggage and for me it's all in how I have and will deal with it. When I was younger, I did not handle it so well and I can't say that (all the time) through the years I've been a champ, but I'm still here. I deal with my everyday struggles as best I can and I do not blame the world for the negative things inside of me that I'm trying my best to correct.

Nobody is perfect, no one will come into anything as a perfect package. Perfection is generally non-existent in appearance, physicality, personality and lifestyle. Those looking for that are looking for the Holy Grail and will be disappointed around ever corner. They will never be content - but that's just my opinion, to each their own.

I think when I do get with someone they will not be perfect to everyone, but perfect for me. They will be a perfect mess!

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RE: Money or ME - 10/30/2008 9:45:23 PM

DavanKael

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Beautifully said, scottjk, in your first as well as most recent post.
Calla elucidated it even further. My ex- and I used to have a similar 'falling apart' rule to that which you and your partner have; worked very well.
What's the point in holding people close if we can not count on one another through the hard times?
Life is beautiful but there's some mucky, freakin' horrific stuff to trudge through too. Burdens shared are burdens lessened.
Davan

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Post #: 26

RE: Money or ME - 10/31/2008 3:54:58 AM

colouredin

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Fr

I dont think its a case of not having any baggage, i think it would be impossible to find anyone without any I was having this discussion recently its all relative. We all have our own issues, and they are a big deal to us even if not to others. For me the importance is how a person deals with what baggage they do have, they have to accept it and be able to live with it in whatever way they choose. relationships come into their own during the hard times, it is then that you can see how worth it they are, if you come out the other side then its worth holding on to, most fail.

I dont agree tha every issue needs another person to hold our hand through it, its just realising what you do need. For me I need space to work through my own stuff alone, Sir is the same, there are things that we leave, that is in our own way supporting each other. I wouldnt want someone to intrude upon that and think they can help or fix I survived most of my life dealing with things alone and i dont need or even want help. For me th importance is that my partner accepts that, that they give me time to work through stuff and then give me a hug when I ask for it not force it upon me. But thats just me.

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RE: Money or ME - 10/31/2008 8:35:15 AM

LATEXBABY64

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I see a turn here so i wanted to guide this along to say this about fixing your self and dealing with those we come in contact who want others to fix them making chocies that even though we love or care or even want someone how it is going to effect you life
prioties importance money home fmaily hence money or me what is more important
causing drama or being at peace catch 22 they both come in all forms and packages

wo what you have to decide is how much you want to give up of you to help someone else or when is enough a enough

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Post #: 28