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Don t Dig Here - 10/22/2008 10:19:13 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		 I have found Our culture is changning faster them the planets revole around the sun. Ideas concepts flip flop with a high rate of speed. Doms become subs and subs dommes
How to avoid drama in the lifestyle and mix with the nilla. Who are you in the world of chaos run a muck. what or who do you find security in. Who really has control of your life your desteny.. How do you avoid the drama vampires that come in to your world and suck up your happy moments.    
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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/22/2008 10:34:02 PM   
MSPERFECTION2U


Posts: 20
Joined: 3/20/2008
Status: offline 		Try not to have so many happy moments and things should work out for ya.

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/22/2008 10:37:09 PM   
WhiplashSmile2


Posts: 526
Joined: 6/11/2008
Status: offline 		First and foremost, I'm grounded in myself as a person.  Other interests such as playing guitar, favorite TV shows I watch, my work and other things.  Stuff nobody can fuck with.

Secondly, it's taken me awhile to wake up and realize the person most guilty of dragging drama into my life has been myself.  My choice in people I hang out with or associate with or otherwise become involved with.   Also, Drama as the result of me seeing what I only wanted to see.  Be it in the current or in the past.

I really don't have any bitches about anybody flip flopping on me from sub to Domme or vice versa.   I myself don't flip flop like this.   Everything is good in that department.

I've been mixing the Nilla in my life all along.  In fact I was doing a lot of BDSM things before I officially discovered the lifestyle.   No Big F'ing deal.  Wake up every morning like everybody else, start a new day, rinse and repeat.  

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 5:22:24 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		why not  can one have a lot happy moments thats what makes things rock  lol.  remeber the key of life is keeping our life energy full with out that depression sucks  and other rhings lead to that as well  So ok i am having a barney moment :)

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 5:56:34 AM   
scarlethiney


Posts: 492
Joined: 8/22/2008
Status: offline 		I have control over my destiny and my own happiness. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that. Some days it is hard to not allow others negativity to affect me. It seems as though when I am tired or not feeling 100 percent that is the time when I allow drama or others issues to invade my peace.
Silence and alone time are my security and help me get re-centered.

scarlet


_____________________________

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see my profile masterkspet

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 7:15:31 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Picture the scene.. it's the middle of the night, 2am or 3am. The snow of previous days has stopped falling. It's too cold. I'm lying on the seats in an empty railway carriage trying to get some sleep. The railway carriage is empty, as is the whole train, and is standing right in the middle of a large area of sidings which form part of Warsaw Grochowek railway depot, some two miles east of Warsaw East station. Earlier that day I had heard it was minus 15 degrees. Outside the snow is knee deep and frozen. You cannot see out of the window of the railway carriage. It is frozen. Ice comes over the window frame. Frozen snow has formed on the metal luggage rack above the seats where I have been trying to sleep. The luggage rack is so cold your skin sticks to it when you touch it.

I am or was at the time, street homeless, no money, no friends, nowhere to go. I was also dog tired having not done much more for the previous two days than walk the streets of Warsaw looking for somewhere to sleep. I took out all the clothes from my bag and put them on, so that I could be warm enough to get some sleep. At that point I didn't care if I was going to wake up or not, I just needed to sleep.

I woke up again, but felt drowsy. But this time I knew that my drowsiness was due to the cold and not fatigue. I was coming down with hypothermia. Shattered as I was and needing to sleep I forced myself to get up. I felt pain whenever I moved, I wanted to just lie back down and go to sleep. I got my things together and decided to leave the railway carriage, the sidings, and walk back towards the night bus stop to catch a night bus back to the city. Every step I took was a step back towards life.

This is just one of numerous examples from my life when I have been faced with the choice of either becoming a victim or becoming a survivor.

I am here. I am not a victim. I am a survivor.

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 8:13:40 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I'm going to have to agree with everything WhipLash said... unfortunately including the realization that I am the biggest drama vampire in my own life (recovering I hope)

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I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 9:19:01 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

I have found Our culture is changning faster them the planets revole around the sun. Ideas concepts flip flop with a high rate of speed. Doms become subs and subs dommes
How to avoid drama in the lifestyle and mix with the nilla. Who are you in the world of chaos run a muck. what or who do you find security in. Who really has control of your life your desteny.. How do you avoid the drama vampires that come in to your world and suck up your happy moments.    


Easy really.

I don't allow drama vampires in my life. I have removed more then one person from my life because all they did was drain my energy and happiness. It's really not that hard to do.

And yes some were even family. I don;t have the time or the patience to deal with people like that.

I live by the belief that people are genuinely good.
I believe that if i do my best and live my life the best i can then I will succeed.
I try to accept people for who they are not what or who i think they should be.
If someone is creating a negative impact on my life i cut them out of my life.


I trust in myself and my ability to govern my own life. I know that I will make mistakes and I accept that I am not nor will I ever be perfect.

I'm learning to trust in others, but it's a hard process at times. Thank god my Master is patient.


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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 9:37:00 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline 		Stella, that is what I like about you - you always provide -perspective-.  

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 11:11:58 AM   
Jeptha


Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

Easy really.

I don't allow drama vampires in my life. I have removed more then one person from my life because all they did was drain my energy and happiness. It's really not that hard to do.

And yes some were even family. I don;t have the time or the patience to deal with people like that.

I live by the belief that people are genuinely good.
I believe that if i do my best and live my life the best i can then I will succeed.
I try to accept people for who they are not what or who i think they should be.
If someone is creating a negative impact on my life i cut them out of my life.


I'm pretty similar. The metaphor I use is that of "paths diverging".
I may have to say, in effect, to some; "Our paths may cross again later in life, but right now it's counter-productive for me to try and walk with you on your path or for me to have you trailing along on mine."

(in reply to akisha)
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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 5:13:19 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I avoid drama simply by not engaging, or limiting my engagement as much as possible (smiling and nodding politely and then walking away slowly).

However you threw some stuff in there about orientation changing and vanilla mixing- neither of those are necessarily negative drama experiences.  Life changes all the time for everyone, that doesn't equate to drama.

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 6:38:02 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		the thread was how we deal with changes how we deal with adversity and change 

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 6:45:39 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		adversity and change--My Grandmother said there is security and comfort in routine--if it were not for routine, I would not have survived a life changing incident that happened 3 years ago--one of the most devastating I could imagine. I stay focused and grounded at all times that does not mean I am not fun or spontaneous, but I am the keeper of the game plan so all things are measured, weighed and balanced against that. I am very methodical which helps Me accept the steps to the goal which might otherwise be found to be too "icky" or tedious to complete.

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"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 7:09:16 PM   
mztresn0w


Posts: 174
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline 		Change is a wonderful thing. Most people do not understand that and try to fight the changes that come along. It might seem like a terrible thing at first but then you realize that some good did come out of it. Sometimes really bad things happen and while we might not understand how are why it happened. We must learn the painful lesson and become a better person from it. Life is to short to become a bitter nasty person. I refuse to become one of those people. So no matter what happens I just keep on living my life and trying to enjoy each day. You never know when it will end and this life will be over.

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 7:36:48 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		The only control i have when dealing with adversity and change is my own attitude......i am the eternal optimist....i look for the silver lining, take each day as it comes and don't stress over things i can't change. 
There were times i could only look in the mirror and ask myself  "ok, this is the first day of your life, what are you going to do with it?"   

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

the thread was how we deal with changes how we deal with adversity and change 


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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 10:02:58 PM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		The biggest change to my life came in July when I had my brain tumour diagnosed and then removed. My life was thrown upside down. I am now totally bald, tired all the time, not able to drive for 2 years and out of work. Some in my family think I should be wrapped up in cotton wool and protected from everything. I don't. My attitude is that I am still here and alive so I better damn well make the most of it.

Everything that happens in your life happens for a reason, the good and the bad. You can sit back and feel sorry for yourself when the bad things happen or you can fight back and turn them around into positive moments.

The positive out of my bad moment is that it has brought me so much closer to Master. There is always a silver lining to even the darkest cloud.

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/23/2008 11:08:10 PM   
VivaciousSub


Posts: 446
Joined: 9/7/2008
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

I live by the belief that people are genuinely good.
I believe that if i do my best and live my life the best i can then I will succeed.
I try to accept people for who they are not what or who i think they should be.
If someone is creating a negative impact on my life i cut them out of my life.


Same for me. It was hard at first to cut people out of my life, no one wants to see someone leave that you've known for awhile, but I learned that in order to protect myself and keep the Drama Vampires away, I had to do it.

Now I've learned how to generally avoid them in the first place, but I've tripped and fallen on that a couple times. But, as the proverb goes....fall down seven times, stand up eight.

And I keep on truckin'! <cue Grateful Dead>


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To yield readily--easily--to the persuasion of a friend is no merit.... To yield without conviction is no compliment to the understanding of either. ~ Pride and Prejudice

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RE: Don t Dig Here - 10/24/2008 7:39:16 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		it is hard to cut people  you have known for awhile out of yoru life that create drama like that.  finding balance around them is not a easy task for sure

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