RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (Full Version)

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manxcat -> RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (11/6/2008 6:10:53 PM)

I do know you perved me, OP and i vaguely recall the email you posted, although i cannot be 100% certain it was yours and not some similar junk.   No you did not read my profile, as i state quite clearly i am looking for long-term only, and i have no kinks listed at all.   As for the widows, they were quite correct in their assessment, i agreed with that as i deleted your mail. Although i can understand your taking it as negative, as you do appear to be looking for your own needs. 
You have been given some great advice, by just about everyone.  I wish had your opportunity to go to munches, dungeons, etc.   Take it, and good luck.


Shakes head and tries not to laugh at darchChylde.




RedMagic1 -> RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (11/6/2008 6:36:51 PM)

I agree that the advice on this thread is excellent.  I'd like to emphasize Stella's suggestion as the fundamental way to think about this.  The other suggestions are technique; she provided a life strategy. 

If all of your friends are men, you'll have to ask yourself why.  If some of your friends are women, ask them how to hit on women in a respectful, not-I'm-gonna-conquer-you kind of way.  Pretend this is vanilla, cuz yanno what?  It pretty much is.  You've only got an authority transfer dynamic in place when both parties agree to it, and the woman you're approaching hasn't agreed to anything yet.



darchChylde -> RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (11/6/2008 6:37:58 PM)

Here's hoping for more candy from LP.  From the thread "How Do You Approach A Domme In Real Life?"

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Just like i'd approach pretty much anyone, friendly and respectful.  Let her know i'm interested, and then lay off.  Be a friend, let them make any further moves.  Basically, i don't chase anyone; i'm not the great hunter.





LadyPact -> RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (11/6/2008 6:54:45 PM)

Resisting reaalllllly bad joke here.



ShiftedJewel -> RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (11/7/2008 9:13:35 AM)

To quote myself here... Treat her like a woman first, not a flogger holder with tits and legs.
 
And to answer your question to WidowSpiders. No, they aren't assuming that you (specifically YOU) were thinking any of that stuff, they were explaining to you how we (dominant females) would see that email. Sorry, but it's true. No anger there... just the reality of what we receive on a regular basis. You need to set yourself above the players and wankers... you know... unless you are a player or wanker, then you would be doing ok.
 
But the biggie is... we are women first, treat us like it and you'll love the responses you get.
 
Jewel



MaamJay -> RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (11/8/2008 5:49:57 PM)

I thought WidowSpiders were bang on with their analysis given that you didn't mention that your sample email was directed to a specific person's profile. If that was the case, why not make that clear? For example, you could have said "I see that you are interested in humiliation and degradation and that interests me also" or words to that effect. If there is one golden rule here, it's make it clear in your letter that you have read, understood and resonated with the Dominant's profile information! And remember, here at CM it's so easy for us to check that you really HAVE viewed it! Don't assume they'll make exceptions "just for you" and don't be too forward. For example, instead of offering to sub at the end, you would be safer saying "As we appear to have some interests in common, I hope you might reply so we can correspond more and get to know each other". I wish you luck with your revised approach.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]



michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (11/8/2008 5:57:49 PM)

would yealling "Hey You" from across the room be out of bounds?

**GRINZ**



SuchAGirl -> RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (11/9/2008 2:49:40 PM)

If you really want to please a Mistress (and isn't that the goal of any good sub) I would imagine sending her a note being very specific to the ways you would like to be of service to her would help get her attention.  I do agree with others that meeting in real time in your local scene is best. I would encourage you to be active within your local scene not only in hopes of meeting a Mistress but also to meet other subs for friendship and support.

Good luck!

- Lady J



LadyPact -> RE: So how exactly do you get a domme's attention? (11/9/2008 3:09:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MaamJay

I thought WidowSpiders were bang on with their analysis given that you didn't mention that your sample email was directed to a specific person's profile. If that was the case, why not make that clear? For example, you could have said "I see that you are interested in humiliation and degradation and that interests me also" or words to that effect. If there is one golden rule here, it's make it clear in your letter that you have read, understood and resonated with the Dominant's profile information! And remember, here at CM it's so easy for us to check that you really HAVE viewed it! Don't assume they'll make exceptions "just for you" and don't be too forward. For example, instead of offering to sub at the end, you would be safer saying "As we appear to have some interests in common, I hope you might reply so we can correspond more and get to know each other". I wish you luck with your revised approach.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

This is so on target that I can't do anything but mention how exactly right it is.  I had thought in the prior post that the OP had mentioned that it was a common interest taken from the profile, but I thought perhaps I was wrong.  (I'm following some other threads at the moment, so I haven't really kept up with this one.)

I am also one of those who goes back to see if a person contacting Me has looked at the profile.  I understand that's no guarantee that it's been read, but it gives Me a general notion when it hasn't.  I have a thread going on the submissive board right now that includes one of My theories about something similar.  It's not enough to want to submit.  The important part is that someone wants to serve Me.  That means they have to have at least a quick glimpse of who I am, and not just be drawn in by the picture.  When people contact Me and have no clue, more often than not, that's a quick way to be deleted.



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