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bluepanda -> RE: It's not working (10/20/2008 9:41:48 PM)
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Snailie, have you got a local community in Brisbane? A BDSM group that stages munches and that sort of thing? Cuz if you do, I think you could get a lot of benefit out of attending a few munches and making some kinky friends in real life. Make friends with someone who doesn't represent any kind of sexual threat to you, like a gay man for example. If there's no sexual tension, it might make it easier for you to loosen up a bit and feel more comfortable about discussing your kinks with other people. I don't think you'd have much trouble making buddies; every munch I've ever been to has been positively infested with people looking to make some kind of friends. Failing that, just hang around here posting for a few months with no relationship goal whatsoever. Just post for the sake of discussion, and see if that makes it any easier to relax and open up about yourself.
This self-esteem thing is a tough one to overcome, no doubt about it. You're not going to solve your whole problem all at once. Just get a clear picture in your mind of what you want the outcome to be, and follow a path of small steps toward that outcome. Good luck; I used to be shy to the point of social paralysis myself, and it's a very lonely, crippling feeling. I wish you the best.
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