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RE: Requiring something - 10/15/2008 8:02:23 PM

domandsu

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Joined: 10/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
No pressure to perform, and they get all the attention. I wouldnt call it standard practice, but saying you are dominant sure ups the odds of getting it done.
Kyst

Interesting thought. I've often wondered about that myself. Does one run a higher probability of physical sexual contact with a male dom than a female?

(in reply to Missokyst)

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RE: Requiring something - 10/16/2008 6:06:49 AM

SrchngCpl73112

Posts: 47
Joined: 9/21/2008
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One thing i have learned since being a member of this site is there is no 1 way in this lifestyle. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes and its just up to you to find what works for you. My 'Daddy' doesnt want me nekked me all the time and has never asked that of me. He does require that i dont wear a bra at home and that i wear skimpy clothes as much as possible. Alot of the reason he has done this is for me. I have self-esteem issues and this is his way of letting me know that i dont have anything to worry about and that he loves my body and loves me for me and to help me with my self-esteem. If i had a problem with this it would be up to me to decide whether i wanted to live like that or not and get out of the relationship or discuss it and see if we can come to some kind of agreement about it. There are so many dynamics that make up this lifestyle. There arent any rules at all.

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RE: Requiring something - 10/16/2008 6:51:02 AM

pdv99

Posts: 140
Joined: 3/13/2007
From: UK
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Wow - what an overwhelming consensus - don't think I've ever seen a topic that produced as much agreement.
A couple of points I'd just like to add -
A lot of this is seen from a Male Dom, femsub point of view - perhaps because of the topic starter - but the same observations can apply to any combination of genders!
When I'm subbing, I find the naked male, clothed Domme situation does emphasise my feelings of powerless and submission, and of course whilst it probably won't involve penetration (at least of Her by me) providing service and pleasing Her is something I consider a reward for my submission.

(in reply to Missokyst)

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RE: Requiring something - 10/16/2008 6:54:32 AM

JustDarkness

Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007

I got an email today that contained this:
"While D/s doesn't have to include penetration it will require you to remove your clothing and provide "service"."

I'm not necessarily opposed to removing clothing (although not willing to do it for a stranger), but it struck me as odd that D/s in general would "require" anything. Obviously I'm very new to this, so is this the prevaling thought process out there?

what did you reply to this remark to the sender?

quote:

"While D/s doesn't have to include penetration it will require you to remove your clothing and provide "service"."

"...and stand on your head"

some how that whole line is sounding far from serious/logic

< Message edited by JustDarkness -- 10/16/2008 7:03:23 AM >

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RE: Requiring something - 10/16/2008 6:57:11 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007

I got an email today that contained this:
"While D/s doesn't have to include penetration it will require you to remove your clothing and provide "service"."

I'm not necessarily opposed to removing clothing (although not willing to do it for a stranger), but it struck me as odd that D/s in general would "require" anything. Obviously I'm very new to this, so is this the prevaling thought process out there?

D/s requires only what YOU and YOUR partner decide it requires

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RE: Requiring something - 10/16/2008 8:37:55 AM

bound4more

Posts: 128
Joined: 10/3/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007

I got an email today that contained this:
"While D/s doesn't have to include penetration it will require you to remove your clothing and provide "service"."

I'm not necessarily opposed to removing clothing (although not willing to do it for a stranger), but it struck me as odd that D/s in general would "require" anything. Obviously I'm very new to this, so is this the prevaling thought process out there?

Wait!!! Let me get my unadulterated copy of THE rule book for the BDSM way of life. Hmmmm - that's funny - can't seem to find it. I know it was here somewhere. Oh - yeah - that's right THERE AIN'T ONE. So if anyone tells you it's suppose to be, it has to be, you're not submissive because you don't or you do, ask them to see the BDSM rulebook. Otherwise it's just personal opinion preferences and what appeals to the parties involved. You do not have to do ANYTHING you don't want to do. So beware of the trolls and those who claim to "know".

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RE: Requiring something - 10/16/2008 8:41:14 AM

sailorfrank

Posts: 127
Joined: 6/18/2008
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Hmmmm think you should have read all of the contract before you signed it huh? lol

Well like everyone else has said it is what you two talked about and decided on before begining training right?! And another point is clothes on and no sex until both persons are comfortable with each other. Then well let the good times roll!

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RE: Requiring something - 10/16/2008 10:46:02 AM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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Echoing what others have said about what is required is something negotiated between the parties involved. Does that always mean that folks abide by their commitments. Nope. But, we hope that in being straight-forward, with honest intent, and communication that we perhaps do in the good way or don't in the bad way get screwed.
Davan

(in reply to Missokyst)

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Post #: 28

RE: Requiring something - 10/16/2008 3:34:41 PM

flower2007

Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JustDarkness

quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007

I got an email today that contained this:
"While D/s doesn't have to include penetration it will require you to remove your clothing and provide "service"."

I'm not necessarily opposed to removing clothing (although not willing to do it for a stranger), but it struck me as odd that D/s in general would "require" anything. Obviously I'm very new to this, so is this the prevaling thought process out there?

what did you reply to this remark to the sender?

I like how you assume I even replied. :-)

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Post #: 29

RE: Requiring something - 10/16/2008 3:53:21 PM

Lockit

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LOL... while his concept of d/s differ's from many other's... I do find his comments interesting. lol... while I don't require penetration... I do require service... so... once such service... I assume a blow job high on the list... does this mean he isn't good for penetration after such service? FIRED! NEXT!

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RE: Requiring something - 10/17/2008 6:12:10 AM

chamberqueen

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Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
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It depends on whether the person that told you that is speaking of themselves personally or of D/s in general.

I had been given the task of training a novice Dom and submitting to him as part of the training. He asked me if he told me to stand on my head if I had to do it. I told him that I at least had to make the effort. (Thankfully he didn't push the point and I didn't have to - LOL)

Generally some type of service is required - but that service can take many forms. It could be simply using a title, or positioning yourself as told (kneeling, standing up straight for inspection, or whatever), might be something domestic like getting them a drink, etc. It might be having a respectful conversation - either in person, via chat or email, or on the phone. A Dominant will expect a sub's attention - that is a service.

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RE: Requiring something - 10/17/2008 6:16:06 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

Although " X, Y or Z" does not have to equal " nudity" or even service....

Wait a sec. MY D/s is set to a calculus level. How do I relate to submissives who are at algebra level?

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Requiring something - 10/17/2008 9:33:50 AM

juliaoceania

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Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: flower2007

I got an email today that contained this:
"While D/s doesn't have to include penetration it will require you to remove your clothing and provide "service"."

I'm not necessarily opposed to removing clothing (although not willing to do it for a stranger), but it struck me as odd that D/s in general would "require" anything. Obviously I'm very new to this, so is this the prevaling thought process out there?

All relationships require things. Each relationship may differ in its requirements, but all relationships have requirements to keep them going and to increase the likelihood of success.

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Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 33