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RE: overpowered or empowered? - 10/12/2008 5:47:58 PM   
sravaka


Posts: 314
Joined: 6/20/2008
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quote:

For me, it's being shown that I could be overpowered that I find the most appealing.

I'm not the type to struggle if I don't like what's happening... mostly I just shut down and do my best to ignore/endure unpleasant things. I also can't think of a time when I wouldn't make myself accessible to my Sir, even if I wasn't exactly in the mood. For that reason, fighting against Q and having him actually overpower me just seems foreign to me.

[snip]

Empowerment comes from a variety of factors. Yes, my Sir does all he can to create a safe environment for me. That means very little, though, if I don't act on it. My own actions make me a strong woman, he simply makes that a bit easier for me.


Thanks, Aidan-- I really liked this response too.  When I was having the conversation mentioned in the OP, I kept wondering where the assumption came from that feeling "overpowered" meant the submissive was likely to be fighting back, since that is foreign to me too.  It really is more about knowing that he could if he wanted to, than about having it perpetually on display.

Your take on empowerment was also very helpful.   It's a wonderful thing when a relationship helps you to be stronger/more powerful in the world outside, but yes, it's definitely not something that can be done for you.  The idea of feeling powerful within the relationship (as I think the guy in the OP meant) is something else entirely, though...  To me, it's borderline squicky, though it's clear that others' mileage varies.


_____________________________

Miseries hold me fixed, and I would gladly cut these roots to become a floating plant. I would yield myself up utterly, if the inviting stream could be relied upon. --Ono no Komachi

(in reply to QandA)
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