RE: serious disease and impact on a new relationship

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RE: serious disease and impact on a new relationship - 10/11/2008 8:13:55 AM

Subductrssss

Posts: 97
Joined: 9/28/2008
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My friend and I have only recently started corresponding here and on Yahoo Msngr. I have kept Him abreast of all things going on with me and we will always be friends no matter what. Our relationship being so new and not knowing if it could have gone anywhere anyways I find myself torn between wanting it to go further and not knowing if He wants the same even before the illness was discussed or if He would want to go further now, I get the feeling from Him that friendship, some flirtation and sensuality online is all it would every be anyways.

BUT if the right One comes along(whether that is my friend or not) and can deal with my illness and what I will be going through and my shortened life span. I would still be open to a 24/7 relationship and in my heart and soul still want someone to be with before I pass from this life.

Thank Y/you for everyone's thoughts and prayers and words (((((((((hugs))))))))))))

Sincerely,

Marsha

_____________________________

Subductrssss

The reality of the other person lies not in what he reveals to you but in what he cannot reveal to you. Therefore, if you would understand him, listen not to what he says but rather to what he does not say.
Kahlil Gibran

(in reply to pixidustpet)

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RE: serious disease and impact on a new relationship - 10/11/2008 2:24:25 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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When you really have to take a deep look at health or death, you see the world differently and yet that is a different for everyone that looks at it. lol Some panic and will do anything and I mean anything not to be alone. Those are the situations that make me feel sad. I've seen it far too often. Then there are those that isolate and do not want to break someone's heart and suffer the loss of so many things in their life if having a relationship was important. Then there are those that deal with it and can't find someone and those that can and do. But no matter what, talking to someone who has processed a lot of this, can be a very enlightening thing. Sometimes you just can't think like one who faces death until you are facing it.

When I hear the stories of someone who walked with someone down this end path, I hear so much sorrow sometimes and yet... there is a sparkle in their eye. While they may tear up from loss, they at the same time show the gains they have experienced and not one of them said they were sorry and would never have done it again. I am not saying everyone would feel that way... just that the one's I spoke to felt this way.

If there is enough time, one will come to a place where the important things might change and the less important things slip right off the shoulder. You get to the meat of things and are no longer hindered by many things. You learn to say what you feel and to openly tell someone you care or love them without fear of how they will take that or feel embarassment for being so open or vulnerable. Sometimes the process is amazing and beautiful!

No one really wants to face it all alone. Everyone wants to know someone is there if they want them there. At some point you might not want them there, but if no one is there... most the time you really truely, deep inside wish someone cared and was there. That is why it is important to keep the doors open a bit and be open to someone being there. I have certain people that will always be there. I live alone for the most part, but I have my people that are there for me no matter what and I know that if I said... I need you here, they would be here.

There is a movie called SWEET NOVEBMER, that I found very much like myself and very touching and surely a true chick flick that even can make a man tear up or be touched. It is bittersweet, but well worth the view. For anyone struggling with life and death and love... I recommend it highly!

We all want a happy ending... some of us get it and some of us don't... but sometimes your view of a happy ending is what really needs to be adjusted so that you can find happy in any ending.

(in reply to Subductrssss)

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