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RE: Should a Dom... - 10/8/2008 2:50:13 PM

Rover

Posts: 2634
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lairaimmortelle

My question is simple enough I think. Should a Dom rely on a sub. slave to do all the work? Not just house chores, but pay all the bills, buy all the groceries, extra needs and wants? Sure this is a form of financial domination, but when is it going too far?

I am of the belief that we should all do what fulfills us and what we are happy with. If the amount of work expected by a dominant creates stress and unhappiness for the sub to the level that life satisfaction suffers, then they need to talk about it. If the dominant cannot change expectations then the submissive should consider options... like leaving the relationship. Stress shortens our life when it reaches unhealthy levels, and it is an individual thing as to when stress becomes unhealthy

I'll save myself the effort of replying in depth... yeah, what julia said.

John

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Post #: 21

RE: Should a Dom... - 10/8/2008 6:06:36 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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Only if he is an invalid and requires 24/7 care. Otherwise he needs to get off his lazy ass and get a job IMO (Unless he is filthy rich)

~Lashra

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Post #: 22

RE: Should a Dom... - 10/8/2008 6:30:57 PM

kiyari

Posts: 631
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

When youre not having fun anymore

That would be my answer, as well.
Ah, but then, I am a sensual switch.

< Message edited by kiyari -- 10/8/2008 6:33:44 PM >

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Post #: 23

RE: Should a Dom... - 10/8/2008 6:47:05 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lairaimmortelle

My question is simple enough I think. Should a Dom rely on a sub. slave to do all the work? Not just house chores, but pay all the bills, buy all the groceries, extra needs and wants? Sure this is a form of financial domination, but when is it going too far?

I have said many times my Sir does not want or need a housekeeper, cook, Laundromat. To share these responsibilities is what our relationship is based on.
Shopping depends on who has the time and energy. There is always a list.
He is responsible for finances because I truly suck at it.

I can see how a Dom wants the sub to clean cook and be the domestic partner, but finances? IMHO, a man is more analytically inclined to perform such a task.

Talk to him....will he share responsibilities?
Did you know you would be made to do these responsibilities prior to your arrangement?

Talk talk talk with him and tell him how this makes you feel.

(in reply to Lairaimmortelle)

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Post #: 24

RE: Should a Dom... - 10/8/2008 7:04:40 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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Regardless of the original arrangement, I would think a significant change in health status, such as pregnancy should result in a change in workloads and priorities. This goes in both directions. I would love to take on more responsibilities if my health were ever to improve. Until then, I would not ever allow myself to be placed in such a situation.

Congrats for deciding to move on!

lovingpet

(in reply to RealSub58)

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Post #: 25

RE: Should a Dom... - 10/8/2008 7:10:55 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Good to hear you have kicked him to the curb. But if I may ask... what exactly was he there for in the first place? It doesn't sound like a dominant to me. He sounds like a 3 yr old who expects the world to revolve around him, on his time table, without any imput from himself at all.
Kyst

(in reply to Lairaimmortelle)

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Post #: 26

RE: Should a Dom... - 10/8/2008 8:41:23 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lairaimmortelle

My question is simple enough I think. Should a Dom rely on a sub. slave to do all the work? Not just house chores, but pay all the bills, buy all the groceries, extra needs and wants? Sure this is a form of financial domination, but when is it going too far?

I am of the belief that we should all do what fulfills us and what we are happy with. If the amount of work expected by a dominant creates stress and unhappiness for the sub to the level that life satisfaction suffers, then they need to talk about it. If the dominant cannot change expectations then the submissive should consider options... like leaving the relationship. Stress shortens our life when it reaches unhealthy levels, and it is an individual thing as to when stress becomes unhealthy

I'll save myself the effort of replying in depth... yeah, what julia said.

John

And I'll echo it a second time.

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Post #: 27

RE: Should a Dom... - 10/8/2008 9:48:17 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Sounds like the OP was just trying to find a way to get everyone to say "He's a sucky bastard!" rather than an actual discussion on domination.

What if a dom suddenly developed a chronic condition or disease which made them bed ridden, for at least a time? Would that suddenly revoke all dominance?

What works is whatever works for you. The fact that the situation didn't work for you, that THIS guy may in fact be a dork, doesn't mean that the style of dominance he wanted is wrong for everyone.

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Post #: 28

RE: Should a Dom... - 10/8/2008 10:57:07 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Sounds like the OP was just trying to find a way to get everyone to say "He's a sucky bastard!" rather than an actual discussion on domination.

What if a dom suddenly developed a chronic condition or disease which made them bed ridden, for at least a time? Would that suddenly revoke all dominance?

What works is whatever works for you. The fact that the situation didn't work for you, that THIS guy may in fact be a dork, doesn't mean that the style of dominance he wanted is wrong for everyone.

As I said before, changes in health status, and I will add other major life changes, may cause a shift in workloads. At the same time, as a matter of necessity I could not be in a relationship as described, but I will agree that some can and even want to be in just that situation.

lovingpet

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Post #: 29