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Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/7/2008 11:36:49 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Doesn't matter how or where but I just got an email in reply...from a self-proclaimed 20, bi, collared slave poly and free to play with anybody of HER choosing having been granted that confidence-building flexibility.


Before you invoke the kinkospheric assumptions...she 'played' with partners as young as 60. In an originating, respectful exchange...she declines with a refusal upon the all too popular presumption of sex being involved. She has NO interest in sex, does not find pleasure in sex. Can't think of anything more unfortunate, barren and pleasure-stifling in life. Several questions arise. 4 to warn you...

1) If it is a fetish...'it' becomes defined as an activity or adornment to play that...Sexually arouses. No. 3 from Oxford BUT not only objects or genitals....but an activity OR almost anything...can be a fetish and arouses somehow. OR can a 'fetish' say have one overcome with an irresistible desire to go to the library or kinkier yet...the dentist ?

2) If she is as she proclaims...out for play, doesn't that inlcude all of the above and doesn't all of the above usually include sex ? OR does she meet and anything like regularly with many men, all...without sex ? Yes, she may be taking a far-fetched approach to diplomatically letting me down but not with what we already know, if we are to take her at her word.

I've wanted for sometime to post the following and in this follow-up form, I like it.

Terminlolgy...semantics, take your pick but words do make a difference...anywhere we write.

By the very requirement that we select a position if you will, upon signing up...Top, bottom or switch (top & bottom) 'we' create the question...just what the hell do they mean ?

I have since been informed by others that Top means sadist, bottom...masochist. Upon trolling...er browsing collarme and others I have concluded from what I read...that is correct. By consulting the balance of our profiles though, there seems to be a re-emphasis on how much topping and bottoming among other very sexual and kinky aspects...turns you on, excites you and gets you off. This segment suggests a strong sexual influence enjoying the pleasure in our kink. So we reveal both or attempt to...in our details.

In my reading of deSade...it was ALL about his sexual pleasure and penetration was a matter of where. His writings and illustrations all demonstrate a concentration on the sexual arousal in his 'Sadism.'

So, I am telling those who have and will, because of my renewed insistence upon and the emphasis I place on sex skills and their importance, suggest I am an apostate from the church of kink, need to answer two questions.

3) Is recognizing sex skills and their importance such a deviation from kinky doctrinal purity that it becomes sufficient grounds for excommunication ?

4) Is our creed so monomaniacal about our kinkdom here...that the sadist/master has no lattitude to tack with the shifting winds within their affairs, or are we singularly hung up on just a sort of celibatic Sadism or strictly painful fetish and does it even remain a 'fetish' making you want to do what...see your accountant ?

Existing innovations in our sex and kink have long since blurred the distinctions of shall we say...when sex turns to kink or kink to sex...haven't they ? The fact is, playing your cards right, we discover...in a D/s or certainly M/s you'd think...in our BDSM FETISHES, it is in fact an affair that is all about control then the sex, kink and pain...am I right ?
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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 2:17:27 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Basically no you arent right. D/s doesnt have to include sex, i know many people who dont enjoy sex and just enjoy pain. The vast majority of people I have played with in the past I havent had sex with I dont think that the two re mutually exclusive. I also dont think D/s has to involve pain either. A masochist enjoys pain (hense why they have that special word) a sub enjoys submitting to someone, nowhere does that say that to be a submissive you have to enjoy either pain nor sex. Also I am involved in D/s and I actually dont have a fetish, a fetish is something a person NEEDS to get off.

Also I think that you probably did misread sade, when i read it sure there was a lot of sex but there were also many activities described not involving sex. For me personally a lot f the reason that I identify with the term submissive has nothing to do with sex, its just simply an aspect of myself, within relationships I dont only engage in bedroom D/s because it filters out into the rest of my life. Thats how it works for me.

in regard to the girl who messaged you, i dont think she would see herself as unfortunate or barran, she has found something she enjoys and not liking sex really doesnt ruin your life, its pretty sad if you cna only envision a satisfying life if sex is involved

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 4:51:25 AM   
CdnExplorer


Posts: 227
Joined: 2/12/2007
Status: offline 		The satisfaction I get from submitting to someone in a scene includes a huge non-sexual component. In fact a lot of the people I have played with are friends who I have no sexual interest in, but who I feel some D/s chemistry with. Naturally with the right person there can be a high level of eroticism. One such play partner of mine involves that erotic component, but she doesn't have intercourse because it just plain hurts and she can't get off that way. Yet I'd still call our play very sexual. All the same we don't really have sex, not in the way the girl who messaged you likely meant. I don't like to try and force labels onto everything. I just do what feels right and don't worry about what it should be called; but that's a whole other topic.

For me I'd say that it is actually very much about control. Every once in a while when I start to feel like I really need to get played, what I'm thinking of is not sex at all. What I'm craving is certain emotional responses and, to a lesser extent, physical sensations.

(in reply to colouredin)
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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 5:36:36 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

1) If it is a fetish...'it' becomes defined as an activity or adornment to play that...Sexually arouses. No. 3 from Oxford BUT not only objects or genitals....but an activity OR almost anything...can be a fetish and arouses somehow. OR can a 'fetish' say have one overcome with an irresistible desire to go to the library or kinkier yet...the dentist ?


The clinical (medical) definition of "fetish" differs from its common meaning in BDSM.  In BDSM we use the term to refer to anything that we enjoy.  Clinically speaking, a fetish is necessary in order to obtain sexual gratification.

quote:


2) If she is as she proclaims...out for play, doesn't that inlcude all of the above and doesn't all of the above usually include sex ? OR does she meet and anything like regularly with many men, all...without sex ? Yes, she may be taking a far-fetched approach to diplomatically letting me down but not with what we already know, if we are to take her at her word.


I take it you haven't spent much time in public clubs or dungeons (or private ones for that matter).  While it may be true that B/D and S/M may be prelude to sexual activities for many (most?) established couples or friends with benefits, it's also quite common (very common) for friends, acquaintances, and even strangers to engage in B/D and S/M without a "happy ending", or without it being sexual at all (the enjoyment is of the sensation itself).  Seriously, this is so common that I scarcely find it possible that folks in the scene would be unaware of its existence.


quote:


I have since been informed by others that Top means sadist, bottom...masochist. Upon trolling...er browsing collarme and others I have concluded from what I read...that is correct.


Actually, those terms are not interchangeable.  Not all Tops are sadists.  Similarly, not all bottoms are masochists. 

quote:


By consulting the balance of our profiles though, there seems to be a re-emphasis on how much topping and bottoming among other very sexual and kinky aspects...turns you on, excites you and gets you off. This segment suggests a strong sexual influence enjoying the pleasure in our kink. So we reveal both or attempt to...in our details.


But there is a difference in your response depending upon who you are playing with.  Just as you respond differently to a massage from your partner than you do from a massage from a (legitimate) masseuse at a spa.  If that's not the case, I suggest you avoid the day spa.

quote:


In my reading of deSade...it was ALL about his sexual pleasure and penetration was a matter of where. His writings and illustrations all demonstrate a concentration on the sexual arousal in his 'Sadism.'


Keep in mind that de Sade was a pedophile and rapist.  And further consider that his writings and actions had a political aspect to them... he was poking his finger in the eye of the "establishment" (church and state) because he was dissatisfied with a court case that did not go his way. 

quote:


3) Is recognizing sex skills and their importance such a deviation from kinky doctrinal purity that it becomes sufficient grounds for excommunication ?


I think kinky folk place an enormous import upon sex skills... either moreso, or more openly and honestly, than society as a whole.  So I'm at a loss as to why you might think that such skills would cause you to be isolated. 
 
What I do think is that if your motivation is to have the scene culminate in sex, but you are insufficiently informed and experienced in the scene to know when and where that is welcomed or desired, then you will very quickly run afoul of folks and find yourself an outcast. 

quote:


4) Is our creed so monomaniacal about our kinkdom here...that the sadist/master has no lattitude to tack with the shifting winds within their affairs, or are we singularly hung up on just a sort of celibatic Sadism or strictly painful fetish and does it even remain a 'fetish' making you want to do what...see your accountant ?


I have no idea what you mean here, but I don't find my accountant even remotely appealing in that way.

quote:


Existing innovations in our sex and kink have long since blurred the distinctions of shall we say...when sex turns to kink or kink to sex...haven't they ? The fact is, playing your cards right, we discover...in a D/s or certainly M/s you'd think...in our BDSM FETISHES, it is in fact an affair that is all about control then the sex, kink and pain...am I right ?


It's about whatever each of us as individuals wants it to be about.  If your complaint is that you're not finding someone with similar interests or motivations, that's an issue of compatibility.  Perhaps you should be more selective in who interests you based upon that compatibility, rather than other factors (like "she's hot").
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 6:39:08 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

1) If it is a fetish...'it' becomes defined as an activity or adornment to play that...Sexually arouses. No. 3 from Oxford BUT not only objects or genitals....but an activity OR almost anything...can be a fetish and arouses somehow. OR can a 'fetish' say have one overcome with an irresistible desire to go to the library or kinkier yet...the dentist ?


Technically a fetish is something that a person finds sexually stimulating or it can be an object that is worshiped without necessarily sexual finally.


quote:

2) If she is as she proclaims...out for play, doesn't that inlcude all of the above and doesn't all of the above usually include sex ? OR does she meet and anything like regularly with many men, all...without sex ? Yes, she may be taking a far-fetched approach to diplomatically letting me down but not with what we already know, if we are to take her at her word.


I'm a bit confused by your question.  Play doesn't = sex.  If there is no fetish involved, then it doesn't = sexual stimulation.  It reads to me that you are confusing fetish and kink.
quote:

Terminlolgy...semantics, take your pick but words do make a difference...anywhere we write.

By the very requirement that we select a position if you will, upon signing up...Top, bottom or switch (top & bottom) 'we' create the question...just what the hell do they mean ?

I have since been informed by others that Top means sadist, bottom...masochist. Upon trolling...er browsing collarme and others I have concluded from what I read...that is correct. By consulting the balance of our profiles though, there seems to be a re-emphasis on how much topping and bottoming among other very sexual and kinky aspects...turns you on, excites you and gets you off. This segment suggests a strong sexual influence enjoying the pleasure in our kink. So we reveal both or attempt to...in our details.


OK - this is where I disagree with you.  This is the way I interpret the definitions through talking to others.
 
Top, does not mean sadist.  It simply is an action.
Bottom does not mean masochist.  It is an action.
Sadist and masochist are orientations.  Like dominant and submissive or Master and slave.
Sadism and Masochism are actions, which is not an orientation but and action, like service.
This is why BDSM for me and others, do not include D/s or M/s or Sadists and Masochists.  BDSM is about actions - not orientation.  Hence - it does contain sadism and masochism, but remembering that just because one - for example - is a dominant does not make them a sadist - yet they may enjoy sadism.
 
Topping and bottoming does not 'get you off'.  It's an action but it doesn't have to be a fetish.  It can be cathartic, it can be uplifting, it can be humiliating and it can sometimes get some people off.  But it's like that across the board.

quote:

In my reading of deSade...it was ALL about his sexual pleasure and penetration was a matter of where. His writings and illustrations all demonstrate a concentration on the sexual arousal in his 'Sadism.'


Yes.  But desade was a prat.(english term)

quote:

So, I am telling those who have and will, because of my renewed insistence upon and the emphasis I place on sex skills and their importance, suggest I am an apostate from the church of kink, need to answer two questions.

3) Is recognizing sex skills and their importance such a deviation from kinky doctrinal purity that it becomes sufficient grounds for excommunication ?


No.  I am not sure where that idea came from?

quote:

4) Is our creed so monomaniacal about our kinkdom here...that the sadist/master has no lattitude to tack with the shifting winds within their affairs, or are we singularly hung up on just a sort of celibatic Sadism or strictly painful fetish and does it even remain a 'fetish' making you want to do what...see your accountant ?


My accountant is Darcy - so that pretty much rocks for me.
Yeah.  So I have a math fetish.

quote:

Existing innovations in our sex and kink have long since blurred the distinctions of shall we say...when sex turns to kink or kink to sex...haven't they ? The fact is, playing your cards right, we discover...in a D/s or certainly M/s you'd think...in our BDSM FETISHES, it is in fact an affair that is all about control then the sex, kink and pain...am I right ?


I believe I was correct that you identify kink as sex and in the same breath as fetish.  It's not.  BDSM is what you make it - it's life and that's what one makes of it also.
 
the.dark.

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 7:24:13 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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quote:

1) If it is a fetish...'it' becomes defined as an activity or adornment to play that...Sexually arouses. No. 3 from Oxford BUT not only objects or genitals....but an activity OR almost anything...can be a fetish and arouses somehow. OR can a 'fetish' say have one overcome with an irresistible desire to go to the library or kinkier yet...the dentist ?

Thats a very big if there. Bdsm may not be a fetish for this girl. Fetish for me is something that you have to have to get sexual gratification. Sorry to burst your 'we' bubble there rover !!
Either way bdsm is this girls fetish or it isn't she doesn't necessarily have to have sex to get off on it. Do you even know what this girl defines as sex? Is it penetration? Is it any sexual act? For all you know she may flick her bean or get someone else to do it when she participates in bdsm and she doesn't class it as sex.
 
quote:

2) If she is as she proclaims...out for play, doesn't that inlcude all of the above and doesn't all of the above usually include sex ? OR does she meet and anything like regularly with many men, all...without sex ? Yes, she may be taking a far-fetched approach to diplomatically letting me down but not with what we already know, if we are to take her at her word.

No.
Bdsm does not have to include fetish or sex.
 
quote:

In my reading of deSade...it was ALL about his sexual pleasure and penetration was a matter of where. His writings and illustrations all demonstrate a concentration on the sexual arousal in his 'Sadism.'

You need to read it again. It was not as colouredin said all about sex at all. A lot of it was actually political and religious propoganda.
 
quote:

3) Is recognizing sex skills and their importance such a deviation from kinky doctrinal purity that it becomes sufficient grounds for excommunication ?

No, but i think you need to recognise that sex skills may not be of the same importance to others you interact with as yourself.
 
quote:

4) Is our creed so monomaniacal about our kinkdom here...that the sadist/master has no lattitude to tack with the shifting winds within their affairs, or are we singularly hung up on just a sort of celibatic Sadism or strictly painful fetish and does it even remain a 'fetish' making you want to do what...see your accountant ?

I think you have a fetish for the word fetish !!








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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 7:41:20 AM   
Rover


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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Sorry to burst your 'we' bubble there rover !!


Huh?
 
John

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Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 7:46:38 AM   
missturbation


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quote:

In BDSM we use the term to refer to anything that we enjoy. 
 
Well unless you were using the royal 'we' then no 'we' don't all use the term for something we enjoy.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 8:05:02 AM   
Rover


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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

quote:

In BDSM we use the term to refer to anything that we enjoy. 
 
Well unless you were using the royal 'we' then no 'we' don't all use the term for something we enjoy.


You're right, of course.  I should have said "we tend to" or something of that nature.  It was not intended to be a universal statement of fact.
 
John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 8:08:46 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		Just ignore me i'm being an ass today.
I think someone pissed in my cheerios.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 8:10:50 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		I prefer milk,  myself.
 
John

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"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 9:58:00 AM   
MrRodgers


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A general reply
 
First...I didn't write D/s had to include sex and is not on-point.
A 'fetish' is nowhere defined as something that anybody needs to 'get off.' (orgasm)
 
I interpret arousal in a fetish as foreplay and getting off remains much the same although of course in our realm...we have found many ways to get off without calling it a fetish. A fetish can be leather or latex apparel, heels, boots oral, anal. A fetish can be 6-packs abs or 38 DD's or anything we see, feel and use for any sexual arousal or to get off.
 
I know people who have an oral sex fetish but don't 'need' it to get off. It's just great foreplay.
 
Going to munches and dungeons in public rarely if ever involves sex and and as far as I know...can't. In private...that does not apply at all to and has no bearing on what we must subscribe to...on the net and its obviously malleable terminology.
 
I used Oxford's and Webster and they are essentially the same and don't even refer to ANY sexual aspect until #3 in both cases. I also felt that to the extent we use and have used the word in the kinkosphere...it retains a significant sexual connotation.
 
As for deSade...my sexual impression of 'sadism' is from my reading about his early plunder and as I admitted, not as much later in his life. Then it seemed to be about torture and even more and yes, about his sexual gratification but our reading is often...but not necessarily about sex.
 
BTW: whether or not he was a criminal is beside the point.
 
Any 20 year old woman active in this lifestyle as it were presents to me a very barren and uninspiring landscape of essentially what could be described as celibacy. Can one still enjoy life...of course. But, a healthy life and so early...without sex and actually suggesting no arousal for it...is very sad indeed from my point of view.
 
Also, I included no physiological problems in any disinterest in sex.
 
I further submit that a fetish is in no way required by any I have met...to get off of for sexual gratification. It is simply an exciting additional means to an end.
 
Top has been describe for me as a sadist or a person who has a fetish to give pain and can be very sexually excited by it. Yes, there can be the adrenalin rush...but a top can be a dominant person and normally is but the word itself refers to sadism.
 
Bottom is another word coined as it were on the net and somwhat before as a masochist. Can all of these same people be a submissive or dominant yes...and we use the words submissive and dominant...not top and bottom except very, very loosely and only in a very general sense.
 
Almost everything in profiles at almost every single dating site refers almost not completely, but almost entirely to our sexual interest in the activities listed and particulaly those that even ask you to grade HOW a sexual activity or fetish and how it sexually arouses the profiler.
 
I refer to deSade ONLY in the sense that he and writers since have placed a very great emphasis on the sexual aspect of what has become to be known as 'sadism.' Also, it doesn't take long when reading the porn at these sites that sadism (pain) is of a very sexual nature and leads most often to unbridled sex.
 
I refer to accountant, library or dentist as a means to center the idea that fetish (def. #3) is about sexual arousal and not being necessary to get off...but as exciting foreplay to sex. A fetish doesn't inspire me to go work on my car.
 
At no site do I see a commentary or opinion forum...so to write does in NO way automatically suggest a 'complaint.' I have no complaints except for this concocted hand-out to wall street. Why do I see this presumption and far too much ?
 
BTW, I do not use 'techinical' or 'clinical' as a means to define...I use the dictionary.
 
Yes, I have seen and read Top and bottom as verbs but in profiles and in most writing but, they are nouns.
 
No, play does not have to mean sex is involved but being honest...it does the vast majority of the time plus any profiler leads one in that direction with the balance of it (profile) ...referring almost exclusively to sex.
 
deSade may have been a prat but a somwhat successful one and especially in his exploits. Yes, some was rape...some was torture but much of what he enjoyed is enjoyed right here and many other sites and often described as the sexual arousal of pain...not just the subspace or subjugation, humiliation etc..
 
First I didn't need to refer to this email at all to make my point I do only because at 20 and available yet finding so little if any pleasure in sex...is an anomaly.
 
Did somebody actually write that Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) doesn't necessarily include Sadism and Masochism ?

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 10:07:28 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


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< Message edited by CallaFirestormBW -- 10/8/2008 10:33:56 AM >

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 10:25:51 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		I didn't understand much of what you said in your post, but wanted to comment upon the following reference to de Sade:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

BTW: whether or not he was a criminal is beside the point.

 
Actually, it is quite on point.  If the motivation for his writing (in particular) and actions was (in no small part) as revenge upon a system he considered corrupt and contemptable, then you can't accept it as a veritable manifesto.  It was written to be as offensive as possible, not necessarily to reflect his personal views.  They were (to some degree) taunts, not revelations.
 
quote:
I further submit that a fetish is in no way required by any I have met...to get off of for sexual gratification. It is simply an exciting additional means to an end.


Newsflash... things exist beyond what you have personally experienced.  You've been provided with both the clinical (medical) definition of "fetish" and the connotative meaning most often used in BDSM.  You can learn something new, or not.  Your choice.

 
quote:
Top has been describe for me as a sadist or a person who has a fetish to give pain and can be very sexually excited by it. Yes, there can be the adrenalin rush...but a top can be a dominant person and normally is but the word itself refers to sadism.


And the moon has been described to me as being composed of green cheese.  Just because someone has described it that way to you does not make it so. 
 
It is plainly evident to anyone with even a passing knowledge of commonly (not universally, as nothing is universal) accepted BDSM terms that you are ill informed.  Consider yourself better informed now. 

quote:


Bottom is another word coined as it were on the net and somwhat before as a masochist.

 
Actually, the term bottom predates public use of the net.  Your mention of masochist in this sentence is indecipherable to me. 
 
quote:
Can all of these same people be a submissive or dominant yes...and we use the words submissive and dominant...not top and bottom except very, very loosely and only in a very general sense.

 
Are you familiar with the term "stream of concsiousness"?  You seem to be jumping from thought to thought without any sort of segue that I can follow.

 
quote:


Almost everything in profiles at almost every single dating site refers almost not completely, but almost entirely to our sexual interest in the activities listed and particulaly those that even ask you to grade HOW a sexual activity or fetish and how it sexually arouses the profiler.

 
If it is your intention to note that a lot of sexually frustrated men and women have found the internet in hopes of fulfilling their fantasies, or that sex is an immensely important issue to the human species, then I will agree (right after I say "duh").  But if you intended to mean anything more substantial, the thought was lost on me.  You'll have to try again.

 
quote:


I refer to deSade ONLY in the sense that he and writers since have placed a very great emphasis on the sexual aspect of what has become to be known as 'sadism.' Also, it doesn't take long when reading the porn at these sites that sadism (pain) is of a very sexual nature and leads most often to unbridled sex.

 
Sexual sadism is only one form of sadism.  There is also emotional sadism, for instance.  Or physical sadism absent any sexual component (torturing animals, for instance).  You seem like a smart guy.  Spend a little time educating yourself.  It's easy to do on the internet.

quote:
Did somebody actually write that Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) doesn't necessarily include Sadism and Masochism ?


BDSM is an acronym used as an umbrella to cover three main elements... Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism.  BDSM may include any one, two or all three of those elements.  So yes, it's been written many times that it is not necessary to engage in S/M and be part of BDSM.
 
The rest of the post was incomprehensible.
 
John

< Message edited by Rover -- 10/8/2008 10:29:55 AM >

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 10:37:54 AM   
TabrisMaceth


Posts: 190
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From: The Ghost Matrix
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers
Did somebody actually write that Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) doesn't necessarily include Sadism and Masochism ?


I've just been sorta skimming around here, but...yeah, probably. See, in case you haven't realized yet, this is the internet! It's a magical place where spelling and grammar can go fuck a donkey, and words mean whatever the fuck you want them to mean! You like making out with other girls to get attention? You're "bisexual"! Paying someone to plant a tree because polar bears are the single more important animal on Earth and you can't be bothered to anything that's environmentally friendly? You're "going green"!
Yeah, call me naive, call me old fashion, but I'd liked to think words mean things. When I crack open a dictionary, it would be nice if the definition I find for any word can actually be applied to reality. When I look up "submissive", I would like "inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient" to be sorta near the truth, and when I look up up "dominant", I don't wanna see "to go completely out of your way to please someone who is unresistingly or humbly obedient".
I'm going to go have hot lesbian sex, now. And by that, I mean have a cup of tea.

-Tabris

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 10:40:54 AM   
Rover


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TabrisMaceth

I'm going to go have hot lesbian sex, now. And by that, I mean have a cup of tea.

-Tabris


Tease.
 
John

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 10:42:36 AM   
TabrisMaceth


Posts: 190
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From: The Ghost Matrix
Status: offline 		I was just about to walk away, but...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover
BDSM is an acronym used as an umbrella to cover three main elements... Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism.  BDSM may include any one, two or all three of those elements.  So yes, it's been written many times that it is not necessary to engage in S/M and be part of BDSM.


...No. I come from a far more innocent world, but...I do believe tying someone up and spanking them does involve a teeny, tiny bit of sadism and masochism. Also, you know what's the first and only thing most people think of when they think of BDSM? KINKY FUCKING SEX!
Dear lord, how I wish George Carlin was alive and well...

-Tabris

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 10:46:46 AM   
subtee


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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 10:51:18 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
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From: Georgia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: TabrisMaceth

I'm going to go have hot lesbian sex, now. And by that, I mean have a cup of tea.

-Tabris


Tease.
 
John


Ha, espeically since Tarbris is a guy. I looked hoping for hot lesbian sex pics.

But. seriously that was a pretty cool metaphor he made.

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RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? - 10/8/2008 10:56:05 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TabrisMaceth

...No. I come from a far more innocent world, but...I do believe tying someone up and spanking them does involve a teeny, tiny bit of sadism and masochism.


Please point out for me the pain involved in bondage.  Can it be made painful?  Sure, I can make eating brownies painful.  Anything can be made painful.  But that's not what most people think of when they engage in bondage.
 
I think the rope enthusiasts (I am not one of them) might have a thing or two to say about this topic.

quote:


Also, you know what's the first and only thing most people think of when they think of BDSM? KINKY FUCKING SEX!


So what?  Determining fact from fiction is not a popularity contest.
 
John

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