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RCdc -> RE: Sadism...am I now misreading this ? (10/8/2008 11:04:50 AM)
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ORIGINAL: MrRodgers
A 'fetish' is nowhere defined as something that anybody needs to 'get off.' (orgasm)
Yes it is (see below - I will get to that)
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I interpret arousal in a fetish as foreplay and getting off remains much the same although of course in our realm...we have found many ways to get off without calling it a fetish. A fetish can be leather or latex apparel, heels, boots oral, anal. A fetish can be 6-packs abs or 38 DD's or anything we see, feel and use for any sexual arousal or to get off.
Then that is your interpretation, which is cool, but it's not the defined interpretation. Otherwise it is a kink or preference.
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I know people who have an oral sex fetish but don't 'need' it to get off. It's just great foreplay.
That is cool. You don't need it to get off true, but if you get off on licking feet, then that is a fetish. If you lick feet and enjoy it but do not gain sexual gratification, its not - it's a kink.
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Going to munches and dungeons in public rarely if ever involves sex and and as far as I know...can't. In private...that does not apply at all to and has no bearing on what we must subscribe to...on the net and its obviously malleable terminology.
Ok.
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I used Oxford's and Webster and they are essentially the same and don't even refer to ANY sexual aspect until #3 in both cases. I also felt that to the extent we use and have used the word in the kinkosphere...it retains a significant sexual connotation.
And I use them also and in both cases they are specific. (Although they aren't the best reference sources)Fetish comes from words meaning 'made by art'. In the case of Oxford, it is sexual and/or irrational commitment. In websters, removing the ancient meanings(objects) it defines fetish as a nonsexual object or part that becomes inherent for sexual gratification or an abnormal preoccupation towards something. Sexual fetishism is sexual attraction and response to conventional, non sexual materials. In the DSM it i refered to as a paraphillia.
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As for deSade...my sexual impression of 'sadism' is from my reading about his early plunder and as I admitted, not as much later in his life. Then it seemed to be about torture and even more and yes, about his sexual gratification but our reading is often...but not necessarily about sex.
BTW: whether or not he was a criminal is beside the point.
Well, it is a point. I abhore him personally. His writings were pretty crass and no, not entirely about torture or self gratification. They were quite political.
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Any 20 year old woman active in this lifestyle as it were presents to me a very barren and uninspiring landscape of essentially what could be described as celibacy. Can one still enjoy life...of course. But, a healthy life and so early...without sex and actually suggesting no arousal for it...is very sad indeed from my point of view.
You POV is valid just as anyones. But I do not find it sad at all.
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I further submit that a fetish is in no way required by any I have met...to get off of for sexual gratification. It is simply an exciting additional means to an end.
Then it isn't a fetish, but a kink.
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Top has been describe for me as a sadist or a person who has a fetish to give pain and can be very sexually excited by it. Yes, there can be the adrenalin rush...but a top can be a dominant person and normally is but the word itself refers to sadism.
No it does not. Topping is an action. I top. Not because I am sadistic. Because I can and it is expected. I do not always get sexual pleasure from topping, therefore it is not a fetish.
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Bottom is another word coined as it were on the net and somwhat before as a masochist. Can all of these same people be a submissive or dominant yes...and we use the words submissive and dominant...not top and bottom except very, very loosely and only in a very general sense.
My head hurts.
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I refer to deSade ONLY in the sense that he and writers since have placed a very great emphasis on the sexual aspect of what has become to be known as 'sadism.' Also, it doesn't take long when reading the porn at these sites that sadism (pain) is of a very sexual nature and leads most often to unbridled sex.
Ok.
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I refer to accountant, library or dentist as a means to center the idea that fetish (def. #3) is about sexual arousal and not being necessary to get off...but as exciting foreplay to sex. A fetish doesn't inspire me to go work on my car.
Then that isnt a fetish that is a kink. You are confusing the words.
And a fetish can - by its very definition - inspire you to go to work on your car.
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At no site do I see a commentary or opinion forum...so to write does in NO way automatically suggest a 'complaint.' I have no complaints except for this concocted hand-out to wall street. Why do I see this presumption and far too much ?
BTW, I do not use 'techinical' or 'clinical' as a means to define...I use the dictionary.
I use both. I am a word fetishist and a dictionary fetishist. I gain sexual gratification from both.
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Did somebody actually write that Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) doesn't necessarily include Sadism and Masochism ?
I am going to make a guess you are refering to me(might be incorrect). And no - I did not say that. In fact I said the reverse. BDSM includes sadism and masochism - HOWEVER - it does not include sadist and masochist.
the.dark.
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