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RE: play and partners... - 10/2/2008 10:16:13 AM

Daes

Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
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Personally, when I started out I started meeting people. Specifically, I wanted play partners and Not a D/s relationship for several reasons.

I didn't know what the heck I even Wanted in a D/s relationship.
I was still figuring out how submissive I really was.
I wanted to get a feel for what I was getting into Before getting into a D/s relationship.

Quite frankly, I'm overall happy with how things turned out. I met an older man (he was 42) when I was 19, first person I met in the lifestyle, and though my experiences with him were intoxicating - he wanted a relationship, a committed one, so I bailed right away. I wanted to explore because I did Not want to jump into a relationship and have the lifestyle be defined for me. This, I think, was a smart move on my part, if I do say so myself.

I got a few S&M play partners who I played and slept with regularly, and though the kink was fine, through my explorations and lifestyle friendships I started realizing I had a greater inclination towards the D/s over the Bondage and S&M.

You just have to figure out your needs and desires, and it helps to explore.

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RE: play and partners... - 10/2/2008 10:38:57 AM

SlaveIndigochild

Posts: 272
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All bdsm is sexual to me. What it looks like and feels like to others i am less certain about

< Message edited by SlaveIndigochild -- 10/2/2008 10:40:07 AM >

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RE: play and partners... - 10/2/2008 6:07:09 PM

LATEXBABY64

Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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another swingers thread oh boy lol just call it what it is have we become bdsm trading cards

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Post #: 23

RE: play and partners... - 10/2/2008 6:11:54 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Unless I'm mistaken, to be a swinger, you have to actually be having sex. Has it occurred to you that some people might actually be able to scene together without it involving a physical sexual activity?

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RE: play and partners... - 10/2/2008 7:29:52 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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there is no one true way to do bdsm, my suggestions would be to be open and honest in communicating with your partners. don't be afraid to look, i went looking for a play partner and found a whole family to love. find your own path and enjoy the journey

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RE: play and partners... - 10/3/2008 6:59:09 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Anyone and everyone will try to tell you how things are or are not. Sometimes they do it because they honestly believe that to be the case, but more often it's to try and get you to doubt yourself so that you'll listen to them and start to be influenced by them.

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RE: play and partners... - 10/3/2008 6:54:07 PM

LATEXBABY64

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simple fact of it is life will with out anyone telling you anything IT will smack ya around slap you up and down make you say whos your daddy
but in the end we all come to relize it is all by the choice we make that we are judged just that easy

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RE: play and partners... - 10/3/2008 8:20:06 PM

HornyToadsMI

Posts: 287
Joined: 5/19/2007
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Duckie -

I come from a different perspective - Toad and i are swingers. So sex and sharing are common for us, but not found often in this side of our kink (BDSM). We have "played" with and without sex. It depends on the dynamic - which should be negotiated in the begining.

With BDSM, there is usually a trust bond - as a sub/slave can be put into dangerous situations if he/she falls in with someone uncontrolled, inexperienced or just plain a "whackado". So I think of it as a dating game - find someone who will look out for your best interests. If He/She becomes your "one", great, if not, date again. :)

Just be safe, keep your eyes open, and ear to the ground. :)

Edited for poor spelling....getting tired!

< Message edited by HornyToadsMI -- 10/3/2008 8:21:07 PM >

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RE: play and partners... - 10/3/2008 8:24:04 PM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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And for some of us, play is there to enhance the sex. For us sex may end it, but it also starts it and is in the middle. Play for us is inherently sexual.

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RE: play and partners... - 10/3/2008 8:28:24 PM

HornyToadsMI

Posts: 287
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Amen! :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

And for some of us, play is there to enhance the sex. For us sex may end it, but it also starts it and is in the middle. Play for us is inherently sexual.

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RE: play and partners... - 10/4/2008 1:02:05 PM

LATEXBABY64

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Joined: 4/8/2004
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you make it sound like some kinda of human expericment like we are some kinda of test tube for the amusment of others I would hope your standards are better then that but to each their

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RE: play and partners... - 10/4/2008 1:34:25 PM

Riesa

Posts: 94
Joined: 5/27/2006
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This is Something I am currently Considering, I love my partner (he has no interest in this side of things as I do), but i have other needs and desires, I am trying to weigh up finding a 'play partner' not for sex/intercourse. I don't want to lose my partner, but things are not working out too good at the moment, (not only with my needs but theres a lot more problems) and I have already in my mind decided I am giving my relationship til January, and if things don't change, I am considering leaving him, and moving elsewhere, and having a fresh start in life, This is only if things don't change for the better in our relationship, but like I said, I am considering finding a 'play-mate' just to help me make my mind up into which avenue I want to go down. I have been making a lot of friends here, and hope I carry on doing so.
Riesa

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