doing something wrong? (Full Version)

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lacyann -> doing something wrong? (11/30/2005 4:49:14 PM)

is it just me or do others find that people are often inconsiderate and sometimes down right rude?
don't know if i have scared people away or am doing something wrong with my profile.
just want to find someone special and perhaps this is the wrong venue although i am very much submissive and a slave to that special man in my life.

just thought i 'd ask,
.
lacyann



girl4you2 -> RE: doing something wrong? (11/30/2005 4:57:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lacyann

is it just me or do others find that people are often inconsiderate and sometimes down right rude?
don't know if i have scared people away or am doing something wrong with my profile.
just want to find someone special and perhaps this is the wrong venue although i am very much submissive and a slave to that special man in my life.

just thought i 'd ask,
. lacyann

there is no harm in asking. just please do be patient in searching for what you seek. you will likely find people who exhibit rude and inconsiderate tendencies, and you may somewhere in the bunch of emails and meetings find one or two who are not.

it takes time. and a lot of getting through the muck. it's something we keep telling ourselves a lot. i wish you well.



sub4hire -> RE: doing something wrong? (11/30/2005 4:59:47 PM)

quote:

is it just me or do others find that people are often inconsiderate and sometimes down right rude?
don't know if i have scared people away or am doing something wrong with my profile.
just want to find someone special and perhaps this is the wrong venue although i am very much submissive and a slave to that special man in my life.


I find other's inconsiderate and rude all of the time. However some may see me the same way. Ignorance runs rampant online. I imagine you are doing something wrong with your profile, but only to those who are not interested in you. For those who are you are doing something wonderfully right.
Maybe the right person just hasn't happened across it yet?

When I was looking for a dom I had ads out there as well. Problem was none of them were compatible or they wanted to play on the first or second meeting. Which goes back to my compatibility issues. Anyway, in the end I found my dom in a local chat room just hanging out one day. It wasn't BDSM oriented at all. It was just a local So Cal chat.
Been together ever since. So, I doubt you are doing anything wrong you just haven't stumbled across the right person yet.



KatyLied -> RE: doing something wrong? (11/30/2005 7:05:36 PM)

Just the mere act of posting a profile and/or picture can result in rude comments. Many people are using this as a playground, you've got to keep that in mind.



HouseofBear -> RE: doing something wrong? (11/30/2005 8:07:31 PM)

This lifestyle is like any other. You will find those who are considerate, and others who are less so. Have patience...and when you run into a rude one, hit the delete or ignore button. They work surprisingly well, grinz.

Ursa



jamesthehumanrug -> RE: doing something wrong? (11/30/2005 8:52:28 PM)

lacy ann,
greetings,
happy hollidays to you and all my best wishes for your search...
however,in an emergency i always ask:"well....
IS IT MY BREATHE?!,"
but,you know,that certainly does'nt apply here...,so be happy



pawschan -> RE: doing something wrong? (11/30/2005 9:06:15 PM)

Unfortunately, there will always be rude people. I know my Master wants me to be as respectful as possible. I cant block off everyone who tries to get with me. A lot of people see my profile and assume that I don't have a Master... or worse, try to 'steal' me from him. I'm only on here looking for friends and help in the lifestyle, because I'm young and new to all this. Oh well. I wish you luck in your search.


paws



MistressYlwa -> RE: doing something wrong? (11/30/2005 9:18:30 PM)

I read your profile and think I might see what the problem is. Just don't take this too personally. I do not know you and would not presume to. Only responding to your question about the possibility of your profile being a problem.

In your profile you state that you are honoring a training collar and in the next sentence state you are still looking for the right dom.

If I were looking for a female sub/slave and read this, I would see you as an untrustworthy person. One who does not take her commitments seriously.

I am not saying that this is what you are. Only what your profile projects.
You might want to consider changing your profile.

Mistress Ylwa


You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan



OscarHargraves -> RE: doing something wrong? (11/30/2005 10:25:49 PM)

Hi Lacy,
I'm sorry to say that this is a normal occurance nowadays. It happens a LOT to Doms who try to contact Subs; even if it's just to be friendly. That is, when they even bother to answer at all. Unfortuantely people just don't feel the need to be polite, especially when they are on the internet. Sorry you've had such bad experiences but there ARE nice people out there both Dom(mes) and Subs so keep your chin up and keep trying.



lacyann -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/1/2005 11:05:21 AM)

Actually i believe that in my journal i have stated that my Training Master and Mistress and i have talked and realize that although we all love each other and my service to them is excellent, i have out grown what they have to offer at this time.
also since i seek a 1-1 committed relationship and They are into poly, that too is no longer a fit.
They are also acting as my protectors and screening any 1-1 meeting with new Masters.
lacyann



MistressOfGa -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/1/2005 7:57:47 PM)

Hi lacyann,
One of the things that I noticed in your profile is this statement "Sometimes this lifestyle is soooo frustrating!"
I dont find this "lifestyle" (I can't stand this term) as frustrating as much as the search on CM is frustrating at times. It is difficult to get respectful responses, even more difficult to find true submissives here on CM, but the thing you need to do is to just have patience. I do have a question, why are your Mentors screening your one on one meetings with potential Doms? What do you feel you need protection from? I am going to assume that you email and chat over a period of time before actually meeting them? And then when you do meet, you take the precaution of meeting in a public place? I also notice that you still have a journal up on the daily living with your Master. Perhaps if you removed that, a Dom may feel more compelled to email you, as it stands, it looks as though you are in a committed relationship. We all feel the frustration of emails that are not responded to, that is nothing new here on CM, it goes with the territory, you might want to consider removing your complaints about not being emailed back. I dont know about other Dom/mes but I dont care for submissives who whine, unless of course they are natural whiners lol These are just helpful suggestions. I hope they help.



lacyann -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/6/2005 3:00:53 PM)

i've made a few changes in my profile and updated my journal, also re-posted my pic.
i continue to serve my Training Master and Mistress because atlease some of my needs are being met.
other wise i'd be home alone in a corner.



Sensualips -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/6/2005 3:09:54 PM)

I have not encountered a single rude, inconsiderate, or presumptuous person. I am really starting to wonder if I am on the same site as everyone else. ;)



veronicaofML -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/6/2005 3:13:08 PM)

i did a quick scan..
i noticed a tiny bit..
change matriarch--to patriarch.
unless you seek domme vs dom?

happy holidays



Noah -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/6/2005 9:29:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lacyann

is it just me or do others find that people are often inconsiderate and sometimes down right rude?
don't know if i have scared people away or am doing something wrong with my profile.
just want to find someone special and perhaps this is the wrong venue although i am very much submissive and a slave to that special man in my life.

just thought i 'd ask,
.
lacyann



There are so many people here. I think you'd like to discover the probably very small subset--if you'll pardon the expression--of subscribers who will be worthwhile for you to get to know as friends or possibly more. Hopefully someone from this very small group will be a prospect worth pursuing (in the most general sense of the word) as a partner.

You can see that the basis of your task here is like that of a sculptor working in stone or wood: to carve away what isn't right.

Every time some knucklehead reveals him or herself as a knucklehead, just say thank you, whether to them or to whatever you believe watches over you. Smile and be grateful. One more chip off the old block. Set CM to block that person and you've accomplished two things. You have come one step closer to arriving at that special little group and you have elimintaed a source of potential distractions from your search and your enjoyment of the time spent in searching.

If someone manages to stick a little emotional pin in you before you get them blocked you might choose to process it masochistically. You could choose to do this "just for practice" or as a matter of skill-development or you could even dedicate this pain to the person you hope to find.

But try not to let the pins prick in the first place, especially if some prick is weilding them. Insofar as you can, please breathe easy and enjoy the ride.





lovingmaster45 -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/7/2005 3:19:05 AM)

quote:

Actually i believe that in my journal i have stated that my Training Master and Mistress and i have talked and realize that although we all love each other and my service to them is excellent, i have out grown what they have to offer at this time.
also since i seek a 1-1 committed relationship and They are into poly, that too is no longer a fit.
They are also acting as my protectors and screening any 1-1 meeting with new Masters.
lacyann


I think you covered your situation very well in your profile and your journal. I also think your search is very narrow. It does not mean you cannot be successful; it means you will find it hard to find exactly what you are looking for.

It took me two years to find a suitable match for a skinny redheaded hellion I trained. There are just not that many "accomplished" dominants who are looking for skinny redheaded hellions. How many do you think are seeking a large, needy, monogamous woman?

Be realisitic; it makes life easier to take.



ExistentialSteel -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/7/2005 3:41:56 AM)

It is a numbers game for women past 40, to be perfectly honest. It is harder for them to find doms than vice versa. But my biggest tip is that your profile is an all or nothing one. You imply that you are looking for the one great dom. Try looking for a dom to become casual friends with and one who you may end up playing with. From there he may turn into your dream dom. Just look for a friend now and let your profile reflect that.



lacyann -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/9/2005 3:27:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

i did a quick scan..
i noticed a tiny bit..
change matriarch--to patriarch.
unless you seek domme vs dom?

happy holidays

matriarch described my life , not what i'm looking for,
thanks j



MHOO314 -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/9/2005 3:55:34 PM)

I see in your profile that you are honoring a training collar, not excusing poor social manners but this may chase some off--also it kind of rambles across a few thoughts and ideas, maybe a rework, clearly stated and patience---after that anyone who is rude---well you don't want to know them anyway do you? I know I don't.



amayos -> RE: doing something wrong? (12/10/2005 12:29:21 AM)

Inconsiderate? Rude?

Hmmm, that's 85% of the human race, dear.





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